My husband and I live in Texas, his ex fiancee and his 18 month old son live in North Carolina. He has consistantly paid child support even though it is not court ordered, his name is on the birth certificate, and the childs last name is his last name. His ex has asked him repeatedly to sign over his rights because he is in the service and depolys every other year. He does not have very much opportunity to visit with his son because of us living in texas (where he is stationed) and his son living in North Carolina. He does, however, visit his son at every opportunity such as mid tour leave, holiday leave, etc. He speaks witht the childs mother several times per week, and always wants photos and updates. He has provided both financially as well as having provided health care for his son and loves him very much. The mother of the child has made the following demands, threats, and rules:
1. Sign over your parental rights
2. if you re-enlist you will have a custody war, you will not see your son.
3. If you stay in Texas after you finish your next tour you will not see your son
4. you are not allowed to have my son around her (me, his wife, and the child's stepmother)
5. You can visit him only at my house supervised, you can not have him overnight and you can not take him to your family's house (he has a lot of family in North Carolina)
6. she would not allow him to see his son on Christmas because I had flown out to North Carolina (where he is visiting on Christmas leave) to be with my husband for Christmas. She told him if he wanted to see his son for Christmas, he would have to forego spending the holiday with his entire extended family and his wife, and opt to come to her boyfriends mothers house if he wanted to see his son. He pleaded with her to let him have his child for a couple of hours so that his family could see him (many of them have never met him) and she denied him access to his son. He decided he would see the child the day following Chrstmas and called her to set up time, but she told him she didnt think she would allow him to visit with his son anymore because he had chosen his family and I over him (her words) She then told him she thought it was creepy that I (his wife) flew out there to be with him for the holiday and asked "it's just a couple of weeks, why couldnt she just stay away?" He is there for 2 weeks and i flew in for 36 hours ONLY to spend Christmas with my husband. It has become obvious that she will not willingly give him access to his son because he is in a relationship with someone other than her and she does not want her child brought around other women. This after she has bounced back and forth between two men and thoroughly confused the boy as he now refers to 3 men as daddy. He plans to get out of the military after his tour, and move us to North Carolina. My concern is that i will leave Texas and my family behind in the hopes of him getting to have a relationship with his son, only for him to be denied access, ridiculed, and called a deadbeat dad. We would like joint custody when we move out there and we know that she will never go for it. I, as his wife, would much rather be able to bring his son into our home, take him places such as the beach, the park and the zoo rather than having my husband missing for hours at a time visiting with his son at his ex-fiancee's house. What rights does he have, what resources can we use, and any additional information would be a tremendous help!