I can understand that. I have a stepmom who has been in my life since I was around 8 yr. She has never said a cross word about my mother (even though my mother refers to her as "the B") and has never tried to do anything to undermine my relationship with my mother. I was mistakenly under the impression that this woman (my kids stepmom) could, at the very least, allow me to have a civil converstion about the kids with my ex. From what I understand (from my ex), her parents had a NASTY divorce. My response when I heard that was that this was a good time for her to show her parents that people who were married CAN get along for the sake of the kids. I have decided that all I can do is continue to re-enforce to my kids every chance I get, that I (& my husband) will always love them NO MATTER WHAT! The 10 yr old seems to be OK and the 8 yr old seems to be starting to see that sometimes her stepmom may not be seeing things clearly. The 4 yr old , so far, also seems to see thru the stepmom attempts to poison our relationship. I don't know-- I go out of my way to be nice, but when she threatens me with lawsuits (she says she knows I talk about her to people at my house and wants to sue me for slander! HA) and tells the kids I didn't want them and threatens to "show them the papers"-- That's just wrong. She has never met my husband (my ex has) and she told me that she couldn't wait to meet him to "find out what lies I've told him about her". I figure my best recourse (as of right now) is to not give her any fuel (she seems to do fine making stuff up) and hold on until I can either get the money to challange them or my ex figures out what she is doing and stops it. Wish me luck!