Is this a sex crime?

Three years ago, my son, at the time 15, fondled his sister while they slept outside (mock camping trip).  She was 12 (32 month seperation in age). We kept it in the family since then and there has never been any other incidents or problems with his behaviour.  But it has been bothering my daughter, and she recently told her youth minister and he recommended counseling.  She has told us she wants to speak to a counselor about this.

Would a counselor or the youth minister be required to report this to CPS (Texas)?  If so, what would the ramifications be for my son, or even us, since it was never reported before.  I have reviewed the statute concerning this, and it lists the age difference as an affirmative defense, but that would be at a trial, wouldn't it?

If CPS is involved, is my daughter required to reveal any info to them?  Would my son, who is now 18 and in college be required to speak against himself?  In other words, is a CPS investigation normally a criminal investigation or does it differ.

My goal is to get my daughter the help she needs without destroying my son's life for the stupid thing he did.  I also do not want to have to deal with, what I view from recent events, a government agency that can go out of control (I know that, unfortunately, there are many cases where they are a childs saviour, but this isn't one of them).

Any advice would be appreciated.

Of course, it's a crime.  Just because you "kept it in the family" doesn't make it not one.  And maybe that then 15 year-old should have been held to account for it.

I was actually looking for something a little more constructive.  Thank you for your time.

Counselors, medical providers, teachers, and in some cases clergy are mandatory reporters of sexual abuse under the law.  If they know the abuse occured they are required by law to report it to law enforcement not CPS.  Now, whether the authorities will act on something that happened three years ago no one can predict. 

"If so, what would the ramifications be for my son, or even us, since it was never reported before."

Possible criminal charges for your son.  You are not required to report it as parents. 

"If CPS is involved, is my daughter required to reveal any info to them?"

No.  She isn't required to speak to anyone.  That is her choice.  She is the victim.

"Would my son, who is now 18 and in college be required to speak against himself?  In other words, is a CPS investigation normally a criminal investigation or does it differ."

A CPS investigation can be part of a criminal investigation and can be separate to determine if the home environment is safe.  Your son can be questioned and has his Miranda rights.  He would be wise to seek an attorney if they do want to question him as any statement he makes can and will be used against him.  The cops aren't his friends. 

"We kept it in the family since then and there has never been any other incidents or problems with his behaviour. "

That you know of. They typically don't do it once they just get better at covering up their behavior.  Your biggest mistake was "keeping it in the family" and covering it up.  You sent the worst message in the world to your daughter by keeping silent and doing nothing.  You told her it was her fault and she was to blame.  The last thing in the world a molestation victim needs to hear. 

"But it has been bothering my daughter, and she recently told her youth minister and he recommended counseling.  She has told us she wants to speak to a counselor about this."

You didn't put her in counseling immediately?  You didn't do the same for him?  You just went with a "nobody say a word about this and it never happened" attitude?  The fact that you covered it up for three years the authorities just might bring criminal charges. 

Why are you protecting a child molester?

The odds are most agencies are required to report suspected child abuse .

There may be a defense that works in TX   given the closeness in age

(b)  It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this 
section that the actor:
  (1)  was not more than three years older than the victim 
and of the opposite sex;
  (2)  did not use duress, force, or a threat against the 
victim at the time of the offense;  and
  (3)  at the time of the offense:                                              
   (A)  was not required under Chapter 62, Code of 
Criminal Procedure, to register for life as a sex offender;  

The book may not get closed on this chapter until your daughter  decides she wants to close it!  

And if you  keep trying to shield your son your daughter may resent it and find a way to just go 

report it and open up pandora's box. 
In a sense she has a bit of extortion power and you seem to be ignoring same.  
Better to have it blow up while in college at 18 than while doing a security check 

for ones first high clearance job at 25?

ClydesMom:

Why are you protecting a child molester?

And that was my point.

No denial that mistakes were made, and we are trying to fix that, just not with the help of the authorities, thank you.

Why do I protect him?  He is my son, that's my job.  I know what he is like, and he made a mistake, a bad one, and that is the dilemna.  We want to take care of BOTH our children.  But he doesn't deserve what the state might have in mind for him.

BTW, it wasn't swept under the rug.  We have talked about it a lot.  My daughter is having emotional struggles. This isn't new for her, she has always had problems, but as she has matured, she has done much better.  This is something that has just recently come back to light, for whatever reason (my son is out of the house now, so it isn't something that has continued).

It is terrible thing, but we have to consider both of their lives.

"It is terrible thing, but we have to consider both of their lives."

Not to mention the OTHER victims' lives out there; if he felt free to molest his own sister, chances are he has a BIG problem and has done so to others.  It's not an isolated incident; you just WANT to think so.  No sense hiding your head in the sand. 

The victim is more important; if he messed up his life, he did it to himself.  Don't protect the molester or you teach him it's okay to do so to everyone else.

If there is a decent defense under the law it may be better to have a controlled blow up at a time you elect that to have it happen at some other time?

If it was one time--so be it--if it was repeated and you have your head in sand--so it will be......but cancer doesn't get better by ignoring it?

Your son committed a crime.

If someone other than her brother did it would you even ask the question?

To be violated by a brother is a TEARRIBLE thing and then tohave your parents decide that protecting him is more important than supporting you - yes, there will be long term ramificatinos. The question is whether you are going to dump them all on your daughter or finally teach your son to take responsibility for his actions.

You son molested his own sister so she deserves to be protected and helped here. Your son need some serious help because RARELY do molesters, even as teens, stop with 1 victim. I would order your son to have an evaluation done by a therapist. He needs to understand he committed a sexual offense and he could be at risk to molest another child. This is very serious. So if he does molest another teen or child, how are you going to feel being you have so far swept everything under the rug.