Needing Help!!!

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Latest post 11-02-2009 3:07 PM by CJ. 4 replies.
  • 11-02-2009 11:16 AM

    Needing Help!!!

    Ok, here's my deal.  I am a mother of 4 wonderful children ages 8, 6, 5, and 4.  Their father and I have been separated since Jan 2006 and I had full custody of the children. He lives in CA and I live in ME. In December of 2008 I was going through a very hard time financially.  The kids had missed their father terribly and I had talked to him about letting the kids stay with him for a year.  He agreed to take them and said that it would only be a temporary situation.  My oldest asked if they could stay until June of 2010 so that she could finish the school year, instead of coming to live with me in December of 2009.  I had agreed since I understood that it was not fair for them to switch back and forth between schools.  I am now doing much better financially and even got a 3 bedroom apartment that I am slowly furnishing from now until June.  Just recently, however, my now ex-husband told me that he is not letting me have the kids back.  I try to call to talk to the kids and he doesn't answer the phone.  I am getting very frustrated with this because I used to talk to the kids at least every other day.  I have a court order stating that he has legal custody and we have shared physical custody.  Can he keep the kids from me?  What do I have to do so that I can get them back in June?  Should I try and get them back sooner, or let them stay to finish the school year?  I am just so confused on what to do.  I haven't seen my children in almost a year and I am going insane without being able to see them or even hear their voices!  Please help me!!!

  • 11-02-2009 11:40 AM In reply to

    Re: Needing Help!!!

    You have some details missing or hard to follow.

    1. Who moved away?  And was it by permission of courts if children were moveed as well. ?

    2 Where was order written?

    3 What does it say as to shared physical custody

    4. You say you "had" full custory but now he "has" legal custody

    Odds are longer status quo of kids being in CA the weaker your points become. To keep kids in one school is a very risky arguement  if it is used to say you need to be out of loop--sorry I grew up with militray dad who changed duty stations frequently so I don't buy the bull about stability being key for a 8 year old--perhaps not nice to interrupt a kids senior year in HS--but stop giving Dad free ammunition!

     

     

  • 11-02-2009 12:33 PM In reply to

    Re: Needing Help!!!

    What state issued the court order?  Father having legal custody and shared physical custody makes no sense if you live thousands of miles away from each other. Noyoucan't just pick them up as their homestate is now CA.

    You could file in whatever court issued the court order- for return of the children;  however, i don't see a court doing that based upon the fact that you are now financially stable; yes- the court will allow them, at least, finish their school year.  if father is requesting they stay in CA- what argument do you have as to why they should, again, change states, custody, etc.

  • 11-02-2009 12:39 PM In reply to

    Re: Needing Help!!!

    When we separated, we were both living in Oklahoma.  The state of OK had given me custody of them as far as full legal and he had visitation rights. We both had moved, him to CA to join the National Guard and me to Maine and I took the children with me.  We had both agreed on this move and informed OK of our decision.

    The new order that was written is from CA.  As far as physical custody, the papers read: "Physical custody to: (person with whom the child lives) - Richard & Mary Osborn".  I had signed the papers here in Maine which he sent from California.  It stated that since we live in different states, he would have full legal custody since it is easier for him to make medical and school decisions. The physical custody would be shared and they would live with him 50% of the time and me 50% of the time. 

    I have gone to speak with a lawyer.  I have an appointment on November 11th.  It is the soonest that I can get in to see him.  He was referred to me by a friend who was going through custody issues as well.

     

     

  • 11-02-2009 3:07 PM In reply to

    • CJ
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on 08-02-1999
    • Posts 1,024

    Re: Needing Help!!!

    It's very possible that he will file for emergency custody.  The children have been living with him for almost a year now so technically CA is their "residence".  I don't see how a judge would allow 50/50 custody to parents who live states apart.  Just doesn't make sense.  I would hire a lawyer in CA right away. Because the kids are in CA, I would imagine you will have to do your legal battle in CA as well.

     

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