wife trying to move child?

I just recently divorced and my wife and I have shared custudy with her as primary. I have visitation Sun night till tuesday night and dinner every thursday EVERY WEEK. She now wants to move from alabama to texas and offered me alot of money ( i have none she has alot ). She said if I don't agree she will drag it through court until I run out of money. We have a clause in our divorce papers that she agreed to not move out of the county much less the state and that even if she wins she has to maintain the visitation setup. My attorney has said that everything is in my favor but I am scared to death. Any help is greatly appreciated.

How much do you mean by a lot?  $250,000   $500,000? Give us a clue.

If she put enough solid cash on table I might agree to a modified order which grants her permission to move and a more limited visitation schedule and that she is required to pay for travel et al  by air or limo or anthing that  I don't need to drive. but I'd want my attorney to write it NOT her attorney .

As a practical matter the court will NOT make kid into a human pingpong ball come time for school!  So if you elect to go to battle you need to be determined to win and block removal from county . But you may need to make it clear you are willing to do battle to death to preserve the order .

BYW, why does she want to move and is the move in beter interests of child--no I do NOT mean Mom has a new friend to bounce on sheets--I mean be careful if Mom can articulate some great benefits to child to move as in super great school district vs old lousy one....

This could just be a math problem [and some travel time hassle].  How old is the child, how much money and how far away? 

She offered 100k and would also pay for our daughter ( who just turned 3 ) to fly down for 8 days consecutive a month. Thats all fine and good until school starts. I also worry about my childs wellbeing. I don't want to get into a he said she said but when I left I had full custody and then had it altered  b/c I had to work to pay my bills and she could didn't. Since the divorce was final 3 months ago I have had my daughter at least 50% of the time while my ex goes out of town. She is from Illinois but wants to move to Texas which is a state we never went to in our 9 years of marrage. She claims to have a family there but there is also a boyfriend involved. She is not trying to move for a better life or a job. In her words, she just wants a fresh start and she knows I need the money. I also need to make it clear the I WILL NOT SELL MY DAUGHTER. The money is not an issue, I would just like some advise by knowledgeable people of what her chances of being successful are. My plan is to go for full custody if she decides to challenge our arrangement

So counter offer 200 K and  9 consecutive days a month with accumulation and banking if for any reason 9 days a month are not scheduled and delivered, transpostation at her expense ---and a lot more detail so you get full benefit of full total time of 72 days a year even when school starts.--but you want your attorney to word it..

Youwon't get full custody but you might get primary custody and visitatins are at her expense as themoving party.

Sorry, lousy math, 108 days a year with you at her expense.

In Alabama, the onus is initially on her to show the move is in the best interest of the child.  But, the courts will consider a multitude of things to make the final determination:

-The age, developmental stage, needs of the child, and the likely impact the change of principal residence of a child will have on the child's physical, educational, and emotional development, taking into consideration any special needs of the child.
 -Increase in travel time for the child created by the change in principal residence of the child or a person entitled to custody of or visitation with the child.
 - The availability and cost of alternate means of communication between the child and the non-relocating party.
-The feasibility of preserving the relationship between the non-relocating person and the child through suitable visitation arrangements, considering the logistics and financial circumstances of the parties.
-The extent to which custody and visitation rights have been allowed and exercised.
 - Whether there is an established pattern of conduct of the person seeking to change the principal residence of a child, either to promote or thwart the relationship of the child and the non-relocating person.
   -Whe... the person seeking to change the principal residence of a child, once out of the jurisdiction, is likely to comply with any new visitation arrangement and the disposition of that person to foster a joint parenting arrangement with the non-relocating party.
- Whether the relocation of the child will enhance the general quality of life for both the custodial party.-The stability of the family unit of the persons entitled to custody of and visitation with a child.
- The reasons of each person for seeking or opposing a change of principal residence of a child.
   
Relocation is never guaranteed but it's also not a guarantee the court won't aprove it.  What she has working in her favor is the fact she is offering no loss of parenting time and paying for the travel.  Those are two factors that could positively impact the courts decision in her favor. 

Defacto once school starts Dad will see a major cut in visitation time and if he bends now it may be too late later.

Sometimes barter depends on focusing on other side not your side and apparently Mom has a big desire to move

If mom is going against a court agreement then she should be paying for your legal fees as well. Have you asked your attorney about this? mom signed the agreement and she clearly is likely moving for the boyfriend. Mom must know her chances of moving really are not very good, otherwise she would not be offering a huge sum of money. My fear is that she will try and make it sounds like you sold the child. She paid you a large sum of money then she winds up terminating your rights or something. Are you able to document her threats at all? I would catch her saying this stuff and record her if it is legal.

I would almost say.....let her pay you 150k and have her sign a very detailed visitation agreement that has her paying for transportation every month and if she does not obey this agreement she agrees to pay your legal fees. Call her bluff, let her know you spoke to an attorney and that if she wants to fight you, she will get stuck with your legal bill and you might get custody in the end.

my papers say that we have shared custody with her as the primary custodian. Is this the same as joint custody? Also, does the clause she signed hold much water in court? I have it set up where I never have to go more than 3 days without being able to see my daughter. Thanks,

Shared custody is as to the decision making;  she has primary physical.

I don't know why posters are suggesting she pay you various lump sum amounts;  if any amount gets agreed upon, you will be seeing her argue that you are in fact willing to sell your child and relationship for a lump sum of money ( and never see the money anyway).

If the clause is no longer reasonable or in the child's best interest, it will no longer be found valid.

I see the point that to "sell" a child runs contrary to public policy and it won't get enforced . And to avoid any such language .

But the poster is not talking about  severing his relationship but a reduction of his visitation  due to logistics of the  distance and soon to be school needs  from about 185 days to about 100 days  about a 50% reduction of his prior rights --and that in addition to EX must provide for travel expenses and she so agrees there are bound to be lots of extra costs that Dad has due to new visitation  schedule whether he travels to see child or child travels to see Dad  (I strongly suggest order be that Mom is required to send and retrieve child unless agreed otherwise by Dad in advance on a case by case basis)  So rather  than try to account for future dosts on a item by item basis and debate same (For example--Dad needs to send an adult in cab to pick up child at airport and its $ 90 just to pick up kid at airport --Or Dads traveels to see child and incurs motel and car rental costs but doesn't chose the cheapest provider )  if the parties agree to a lump sum of $XXX,XXX paid in advance by Mom I don't see that as selling child--I see it as avoiding disputes over who pays what for mounds of small stuff --if so worded by Dad counsel......

PS I'd think it wise for the order to say if parties breech order the breeching side pays attorney costs of other side

How are you calculating he has 185 nights a year? He currently has 8 nights a month = 96 overnights a year.

So, she offered 8 nights a month consecutively and offered to pay the travel.  No loss of overnights.

When school starts, then a standard long distance plan can be asked for (now) that when the child starts schools, he gets most of the summer, all long weekends, and alternating holidays.  No loss of parenting time.

Any agreement with mom MUST go through the courts, so file a motion to change the visitation and allow the move with mom paying for all transportation, and your legal fees if she recinds, after she gives you your $$ of course. Do not depend on any private agreement with mom, she will not stick to it.