Background: My ex husband to be and I have been separated for almost two years (2 yrs in Jan 2010). I stayed in the home I inherited, he moved out.
Initially, he would use getting stuff as an excuse to come whenever he wanted. And he's never said that HE is going to hurt me. and he's for instance, thrown my laptop against a wall a few feet from me but was not aiming AT me. The police said since he wasn't directly threatening me their hands were tied but I was documenting everything with reports that way if something happened there'd be some cause? background? stuff..
and also, the original fear was that he would come in the middle of the night and rape me because he is not willing to accept me not being with him. But, over the past year and a half stuff has calmed down.
Then he found out I was dating someone and it started again. This time though he tells things like:
(in text so had saved this one but got phone wet and lost it) "It would be better of if you died"
"..you deserved to rot in ****** hell..".. "... you need to suffer for this.." ".. I want you to ******* die.."
there's alot more than this but these are the parts I don't know if would finally constitute something the police can actually use?
And 2 nights ago, he called me at two o'clock in the morning to tell me I need to have sex with him one more time. I owe him that. that i haven't for the past two years and he hates me but I owe him that. that it's just sex and he hates me but i owe this to him.
At one time I had a counselor (almost 2 yrs ago) that said HE could talk to the police about his behaviour and get them to put a restraining order ( he's seem my ex once and thinks he's that unstable.
But after having a female officer tell me after a reasonable amount of time (few months ) he could not keep breaking in ( my house is old and windows, he can get in if nothing else..
when I finally changed the locks over a year ago, he showed up and i called 911 because he got violent (verbal did not do anything physical) and the male officer that responded told him we are legally married he can break in if he wants to.
I guess for awhile I thought everything was improving, but recently he's found out he can't legally take my car (tried), can't legally take my house (tried) and seems like he's running out of ways to hurt me so I guess it scares me into thinking if he gets desperate he MIGHT do things I didn't think he would.
Any advice appreciated.