Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

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Latest post 05-17-2010 9:43 AM by Beth3. 15 replies.
  • 05-15-2010 7:48 AM

    • ehhh
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    Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    Recently I was accused of sexual harassment. My employer brought me in and stated that because I sent a text message 2 months ago, even though we haven't spoken since then, to this girl I was dating 4 or 5 months prior, which at the time she felt comfortable and welcomed behavior of the sexual sort, now finds it unacceptable.

    My text message, which I now terribly regret, took place in a conversation between a customer and I, when the girl walked passed us both, and the customer checked her out and asked me if I would like to "hit that", or have sex with her. I, of course said yes, and thinking that it was a compliment to her, I would send that to her. 2 months later she files a complaint about that text. Also, keep in mind, that we have not spoken after that 2 month period as she works on the floor and I work in the stockroom where I would rarely if ever see her. When we were dating, she had a boyfriend, and later on into the relationship, which was about 3 or 4 weeks, I confronted her about it, which she did not like, and since then she has been hostile, with a few exceptions.

    There is more incidents that have occured between the time we were dating and the time I sent the text, that would suggest her character and motives. I will be happy to list if it will help my case. To me, it seems that she is looking for revenge after me confronting her about her suggestive behavior that not only took place in our workplace, but her second job at which I was present.

    Am I being falsely accused, if not, is there some kind of claus that deals with 2 month delay of filing the complaint? I know she has malevolent intentions as if it really had been an issue of sexual harassment, she would have filed it the day i sent the text, but instead waited 2 months. Is there a way to protect myself from a situation like this?

  • 05-15-2010 11:51 AM In reply to

    • Cica
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    ehhh:
    the customer checked her out and asked me if I would like to "hit that", or have sex with her. I, of course said yes, and thinking that it was a compliment to her, I would send that to her.

    A compliment?  Apparently your past subject didn't agree with your self-assuredness, and doesn't consider herself stockroom material to be taken at your leisure.  What was acceptable to her once before was no longer, especially five months later and involved in a new relationship.

    Her "suggestive behavior" that you "confronted" her about was that she wanted nothing to do with you because of another man in her life.  And, this confrontation took place at your workplace, and her second job.

    Yep. That's sexual harassment.  And, it's legal grounds to terminate.

  • 05-15-2010 12:27 PM In reply to

    • LG81
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    Agree with other poster.

    Additionally, it doesn't matter that the behavior occurred two months ago.

     

  • 05-15-2010 1:12 PM In reply to

    • ehhh
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

     

    Cica:
    Her "suggestive behavior" that you "confronted" her about was that she wanted nothing to do with you because of another man in her life.  And, this confrontation took place at your workplace, and her second job.

    This is misinterpreted. The confrontation did not take place at either workplace. I merely observed it at the workspaces. I have many witnesses that are willing to testify on my behalf about her suggestive behavior. Also, she has not been in a reltaionship since about 3 or 4 months after our little fiasco, as I've been told that she was dumped, by another guy that we work with, for cheating. So it turns out she was still single at the time the text was sent. Even prior to me sending her the text, which was in March, we began talking again on friendly terms. I asked her about what grade she got on her paper I volunteered to write for her in December, which she got an A on, and that sparked up friendly conversation. This led to her wanting to come along with me as I find a puppy. I picked her up from her house and we were off, but she was real quiet, quite opposite from her texting habits. I made sure I didnt do anything suggestive and didn't talk about sex or anything. And we went to the shelter to look for a dog, but she didnt make much conversation. Now this took place about a week before i sent her the text, and on friendly terms.

  • 05-15-2010 1:31 PM In reply to

    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    ehhh:
    I have many witnesses that are willing to testify on my behalf about her suggestive behavior

  • 05-15-2010 1:32 PM In reply to

    • cbg
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    Regardless, if your employer feels that it was inappropriate, they are free to fire you for it.

  • 05-15-2010 1:37 PM In reply to

    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    kath21:

    ehhh:
    I have many witnesses that are willing to testify on my behalf about her suggestive behavior

     

    HER behavior didn't cause charges to be filed;  yours did.

    You'll have to learn to be to be more respectful in the workplace, no matter your relationship.  What you consider a compliment is something most women wouldn't.

  • 05-15-2010 1:59 PM In reply to

    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    My text message, which I now terribly regret, took place in a conversation between a customer and I, when the girl walked passed us both, and the customer checked her out and asked me if I would like to "hit that", or have sex with her. 

    Now I ask you - what woman wouldn't be flattered by some guy who said he wanted to "hit that."  Question

  • 05-15-2010 2:22 PM In reply to

    • ehhh
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

     

    Beth3:
    Now I ask you - what woman wouldn't be flattered by some guy who said he wanted to "hit that."

    I understand the way it seems. But if you knew this girl the way I do, she is exactly the type that would be flattered. When we were dating or talking, we were invloved in sexual behavior. But trying to be the bigger man, I decided not to deal with it because she was doing these other things with these guys from her other workplace. That is when I confronted her. Not at the workplace. The fact that she decided to cheat on her boyfriend with me, and probably other men, is already proof that she has a past of lying and deceit. Another point that probably would have some merit, is that she never asked for me to stop talking to her. If you have read above, I thought we were at a friendly impass. She did not show any indication after we went to the animal shelter that she wanted nothing to do with me. It would be logical to think that if someone had a warning, they would stop the alleged "harassment". But she said nothing. So I thought it was ok, knowing her personality and witnessing her humor first hand as well as many other associates, to make a comment of the sort. The girl is or was 19 or 20 now and I am 21. I do understand I need to be more respectful to this young lady, her suggestive behavior was provactive enough to get me to do it. I also do not have a history of sexual harassment as this would be the first case, and I generally do respect the girls I encounter.

  • 05-15-2010 2:29 PM In reply to

    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    ehhh:
    That is when I confronted her. Not at the workplace.

     

    It doesn't matter WHERE the confrontation took place, your relationship with her or her "suggestive" behavior; if you hadn't sexually gossiped about her in the workplace, there would be NO case...understand how the workplace enters into it now? 

     If you had kept everything OUTSIDE of the workplace -especially gossiping with customers about how "hot" she is- there would be no case.

  • 05-15-2010 2:56 PM In reply to

    • ehhh
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    Sound reasoning Kath21, and I respect your input. I honestly feel though, on the contrary, that I have fell into a trap with this girl. It is quite obvious that she has malevolent intentions towards me after the confrontation, as I have stated above, that if this were a true case, it would have been reported immediately. A 2 month delay for the report has got me thinking about her motives. After the text I have not talked to her, however the insight from everyone's posts now makes things a bit more clear. So it is true that time of sexual harassment occurence is irrelevant? e.g If it took place a year ago, and no contact has been made since, it is still considered sexual harassment? Also, a final word, would there be anything to help my case, as it seems all evidence points to the contrary. Thank you all, your input is appreciated.

  • 05-15-2010 2:57 PM In reply to

    • Cica
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    ehhh:
    But if you knew this girl the way I do, she is exactly the type that would be flattered.

    Apparently you don't know the girl the way that you think you did.  The fact is that your employer learned of scuzzy, two-bit, slimeball, unwashed street corner lingo that an employee used to a "type" of girl that could get them in a lot of trouble.  If your subject tells your employer that she was offended by your rendition of sweet talk, your employer has to act -- and that can involve anything from verbal reprimand to termination. 

    Further, you are hired to represent your employer.  If your employer isn't "flattered" by something discovered regarding your behavior, he can term you.

    ehhh:
    I generally do respect the girls I encounter.

    "Generally" ...  

  • 05-16-2010 6:15 AM In reply to

    • LG81
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    ehhh:
    So it is true that time of sexual harassment occurence is irrelevant?

    The timing is irrelevant.  Employers are required to take steps to prevent any future such behavior once they are informed. 

    Regardless of the girl's intentions, they could fire you because they found your text to be inappropriate or found your relationship with her to be inappropriate.  (Maybe this tips you off to the fact it is best to steer away from workplace romance?)

  • 05-17-2010 9:37 AM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: Wrongfully accused of sexual harassment?

    They can fire you for not wearing green socks  and if some prior mail is being brought up--you are history--thats one side of it--you lose!

     

    Now there may be some room for debate , if you seek UC, as to if you were fired for cause or not--but to the time delay --but if employer canned you swiftly upon learning of 2 month old mail they may win on that part as well.



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