Thanks so much for your thoughtful input. Sorry in advance this is so long...
In the 90's she went through a major depression following a divorce.
She still gets depressed at times to a lesser degree and has been taking antidepressants
for years. She was evaluated for OCD a
few years ago but they didn’t diagnose her as having it.
She goes to doctors constantly - family physician, knee specialist
(arthritis), gastroenterologist, eye doctor, etc., and some counselors (I don’t
know if any were Psychologists/Psychiatrists).
She takes several Rx’s and a lot of OTC meds. We have tried to go
to her doctor with her to talk about side effects and potential drug
interactions, but she won't do it. She also refuses to take fewer OTC's.
She hides things and lies constantly about everything. Important or trivial, it doesn’t matter.
Although I’ve seen worse, her apartment is really messy. She lays on her couch to watch TV and throws
newspapers/bills/magazines/random papers on the floor/chairs/tables and leaves
them for a week or so, but eventually gets a trash bag and sweeps the whole
pile (bills included) into the trash. She leaves dirty dishes on the
kitchen counter (not the rest of the house) for 4-5 days and then washes everything
at once but never put the dishes away. She washes but never folds or
hangs clothes. She has a cat but rarely
vacuums and never dusts so there is an enormous amount of cat hair (and some
litter) everywhere. She does clean the
litter box every 2-3 days. She generally
will not let anyone in unless she "cleans up", meaning has enough time
to trash all of the papers on the floor and wash her dishes. I stayed at her house for 2 weeks about a year
ago and together we cleaned/organized/bought some new furniture/hung pictures
etc. She seemed really proud and kept
things up initially, but within a month she fell right back into her old
She is a very social person and I know she is lonely. She doesn’t do anything during the week but go
to work and lay around at home. She sees
her grandkids about every 2 weeks. She
loves talking to people and will talk a stranger’s ear off, but she refuses to
plan to do things with friends or church.
Her spending doesn’t seem to fluctuate too much based on her mood. Basically, if she’s got access to money, she
Should we try to have her evaluated by Psychiatrist/Psychologist?
If yes, I’m concerned that she might not agree to allow us to go to an
initial meeting with the Dr. to tell “our side of the story”. What should we do if she says no?
Please let me know if you have any other ideas. Thanks again!