Divorcing an Unemployed Spouse

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Latest post 11-23-2010 11:39 PM by BigDadee63. 4 replies.
  • 11-23-2010 10:13 PM

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    Divorcing an Unemployed Spouse

    Here's my situation...

    I live in California. I have 3 children, 2 in college, and 1 under the age of 18. I'm working and making about $5,000 a month, and my spouse is unemployed and has been for almost 10 years. He has no disabilities or anything, and he has been staying home and taking care of the kids for a while. If I were to divorce, how would my assets be divided, and about how much would I have to pay my spouse in alimony? How would that change if I retire early, as I am 50 years old. And what if I am the one supporting my children in college? If I choose to keep this house, does that cause complications with the assets?

  • 11-23-2010 10:21 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
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    Re: Divorcing an Unemployed Spouse

    He needs to stay home to take care of an 18 year old- --I think you need to give some thought to how to posture  that a reasonable wage should be  imputed if he choses to sit on his duff. What did he do before he went unemployed?

    How old is he? Too old for retraining?  And how old would that be ?

    Better yet--use good counsel up front.

     



  • 11-23-2010 10:39 PM In reply to

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    Re: Divorcing an Unemployed Spouse

    He is 51 and was a store clerk before when he did work. What if my children decide to live with me and he moves to live with his family? Would he have to pay child support? And if he decides to move out of the country, do I still have to pay alimony?

    Also, is there anything I should do right now with my monthly income? Should I start depositing it into a different account or something?

    One more thing, would anything change if I was mentally abused by him because he doesn't let me visit my relatives and he threatens to divorce me if I do?

  • 11-23-2010 11:24 PM In reply to

    • Kivi
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    Re: Divorcing an Unemployed Spouse

    You are in CA. Child support ends when the child is 18 or graduates from high school, if after age 18 with 19 being the highest age for which support could continue for a child still in high school. In other words if your youngest does not graduate high school by age 19, child support stops at that point regardless.

    So, he could be ordered to pay child support for your youngest child, but not the two who are in college.

    You do have a long term marriage and he appears to have been the caretaker parent for the past ten years. He likely will be awarded alimony.

    Your college age children will not be subject to any custody order. They can live with him, if they choose. They can live with you, if they choose. They can choose to live with neither of you. One could live with him and one could live with you.

    However, your youngest child would be subject to a custody order.  The court could give custody to you. The court could give custody to him. Children don't get to decide which parent they want to live with. However, if your youngest child is an older teenager, many judges will let the child express a preference. It's up to the judge to decide how much weight to give to the child's preference. Most judges probably would value the opinion of a 17 year old more than that of a 13 year old. But, your child should understand, if the custody issue goes before a judge, the judge is only obligated to listen to child's preference. It will not be binding upon the judge in CA.

    You mention that you might retire at age 50. Are you eligible for a pension of some kind? If so, your pension could be divided in your marital property settlement. If you are not eligible for a pension, just exactly how do you propose to support yourself "in retirement"? Your 401k, 403b, 457, etc or IRA also will be subject to division in your marital property settlement.

    In other words, don't be a big hurry to retire until you know the "lay of the land".

    Divorce in CA is "no-fault". His "mental absuse" won't matter one iota in any decision about alimony, custody or the marital property/debt division.

    If he moves out of the country, he might have some logistical difficulties in enforcing the court order that you pay alimony. However, you won't be legallly excused from any obligation to pay solely on the basis of foreign residence.

    I suggest that you discuss your situation with a local family law attorney. The question about changing your banking arrangements and the timing of same is one of the question that you should discuss with him or her along with who gets exclusive possession of the marital residence while the divorce is in progress. (Don't assume that it will be you!. You need an order to that effect if he won't voluntarily leave and don't expect him to voluntarily do anything once he is served the legal papers!)

    Also, you should assume that he will want his share of any equity that you two have in your home. Can you afford to buy him out?

     

  • 11-23-2010 11:39 PM In reply to

    Re: Divorcing an Unemployed Spouse

    I suggest you speak with a local attorney specializng in Divorce (in your state).

    In most states, Child Support terminates when the child turns 18, and graduates from High School.  So, until that happens he would have to provide some support.

    A lawyer in your area would better shed light on what type of Spousal Support (alimony) could possibly be awarded to him.  It might be Temporary.

    If you have a joint account(s), it is not uncommon that a divorcing spouse try to empty the account(s).

    You are an adult.  You are free to visit anyone you like.  From your post, it sounds as if he needs you, more than you need him.  Take him up on his offer to "divorce" you.

    Ok  I'm not a lawyer.  This is only my opinion /suggestion.  Most Replys' are based on information provided by the "original post" (OP).

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