Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

Latest post Tue, May 2 2017 10:31 AM by tazzie2005. 36 replies.
  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 1:56 PM In reply to

    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Rocktosh:
    But I find it unfathomable that there are laws that would allow a court to dictate what I can and cannot own as long as the property doesn't violate any laws, like, say, you have five cats and local ordinance says you can only have three.

    As I said, the court can IN APPROPRIATE CIRCUMSTANCES order you to get rid of property. You mentioned one such circumstance -- you have property that is some way violating the law. That includes pets.

    Rocktosh:
    I can't believe though that I could show up for a custody hearing and be ordered to get rid of my couch, my car, my clothing, my pets, etc.

    The court certainly can order you to get rid of property that it considers a danger to the child or deny you custody or visitation if you refuse.

    Rocktosh:
    What if you choose not to obey the court? Could they send the police to come and take my property by force? What kind of laws would give the court the power to force me to get rid of my property?

    Again, it depends on the circumstances. If you have 5 cats and the ordinance allows only 3, then refusal to obey the order can indeed result in animal control coming out and seizing animals to bring you into compliance. I've seen that happen.

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 2:29 PM In reply to

    • kath21
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    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Because a child's welfare comes first; your couch may be "legal", but if the child is allergic to the foam it is made from, it must be trashed.

    Family law judges have a lot of leeway regarding children; the authorities can remove children from an unsafe environment (say, abuse) without anyone EVER being arrested for a crime.

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 2:43 PM In reply to

    • kath21
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    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    And ultimately, they can't MAKE one get rid of a possession, but can deny you your child if deemed harmful to it.

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 2:47 PM In reply to

    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Rocktosh:
    Giving an ultimatum like "get rid of your property or you can't have your child over for visitation" is not really an order to get rid of the property. I can understand how that can be done and I suspect that this is what happened in the poster's case.

    That was my point. For someone facing such an ultimatum, giving up the kids is not an option. So, the ultimatum becomes to them an order to get rid of the cats. The order probably isn't a absolute order to get rid of the cats, but the ultimatum that you have to choose between having the cats in the house or having the kid in the house. For the family, though, it might as well have been an absolute order to get rid of the cats as they'll view it that way. That's part of the reason why I said earlier I doubt that the court order said that they simply had to get rid of the cats, as the poster said, but rather that was the poster's bottom line take on it. I hope that makes it more clear.

    My answer to the more general statement you made earlier that court cannot order people to get rid of property was that it can, in appropriate circumstances. The ordinance violation is a great example of that. You're right that a court cannot on whim order you to get rid of personal property just because it feels like it. It must have legal basis for the order, like a violation of an ordinance. Again, that is why I said it can do so in appropriate circumstances.

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 2:48 PM In reply to

    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Thank you very much for your input, its a bad situation. 

    Sadly the court order does actually say, "Respondent is to get rid of the cats at his residence."  The magistrate looked right at him and told him, "Your daughter shouldn't need to take medications to visit you- get rid of the cats." He never checked the ownership of the cats or showed any concern over how this would affect our lives, nor did he define the term, "Get rid of".

    As I stated before, my fiance's parenting time was blocked for 6 weeks with both children within 2 weeks of the magistrate's order, the ex was able to convince the courts that the children were in 'imminent physical or emotional danger' because we hadn't disposed of our animals yet.

    He was able to get the kids back after moving out and waiting 4 weeks for the courts to process his paperwork.

    Our lawyer advised us that there's no way to reverse the ruling, only appeals court and we could expect a cost of over $5000 to even start that process.  Plus that's judges reviewing other judges, we wouldn't stand a chance.

    If you have another suggestion as to how to get out from under this order I'd love to hear it!

    Thanks again for your time.

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 2:52 PM In reply to

    • kath21
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    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Mcsynchronicity:
    Sadly the court order does actually say, "Respondent is to get rid of the cats at his residence." 

     

    Right.  But the point is that they can't MAKE him...only refuse to let him bring his child there.  If he were to refuse, that would be the outcome.  He wouldn't be arrested, etc, for not following an order, he just wouldn't see his kids.

    Obviously that is unacceptable to most parents. 

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 3:17 PM In reply to

    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Thanks Rocktosh, it feels good to have some back up.  Mainly I'm just the awful person that chose pets over people- & many horrible other things that people have said to me over my desicion to uphold the commitment I made to my children and our animals.

    If my step-daughter-to-be was truly made ill by these animals; there wouldn't be a question- we'd have to figure something else out. This is not the case; this was one of about 15 false allegations all thrown into the court motion- this is just the one she was able to make stick.  When my fiance's daughter is with her mother, she is allowed to go to her friend's homes that have cats, family homes that have cats; she even spends several weeks each summer at her grandparents home- they have 5+ cats.  Its extremely unjust, hypocritical & very tough to live with knowing that a magistrate backed the ex up over such a falsehood.

    We rescued all our cats from the shelter!  I can't even entertain the thought of sending them back there.  Every fiber of my being tells me that is the wrong thing to do. Two of our cats are sisters from the same litter, they've never been separated. We tried to find even a temporary home for our 3 cats and were totally unsuccsessful.  When we adopted them we made the joyful comittmment to care for them through their whole lives.  We were looking forward to having them in our lives for many years to come.  It is very sad to think of giving them away and never seeing them again.  We don't have any family that can help, no friends who can help take them- thinking of adopting them out to people we don't know makes me wonder what their lives could be like- separated, torn away from their family, full of fear, even taken back to the shelter without us ever knowing.  Thinking of that, euthanizia seems kinder. And then- NO!

    I WONT do it, I can't do it.

    My fiance has his daughters 48% of the time, and a motel just isn't a stable home for kids.  Currently my fiance has his daughters all but 2 days of the week because the magistrate ordered all the missed visits made up.

    Its just a sad, cruel fact of life that this woman is able to do this to us, and to be successful at it.  Most recently she's been driving down my street, taking pictures and video of our home and my children to try and prove that my fiance is in fact living at home.  He isn't, but he comes over often to help me & take care of things.  We bought a 3000 sq ft house for our big family- there's a lot to take care of. We live 13 miles from his ex and there are only 4 houses on our street- its pretty clear she's there stalking us.  Still, I have never retaliated, said one harsh word to her or the children.

    Keeping my integrity is unbelievably difficult.

    If you have any suggestions for how we might get out from under the court order and get past this ruling I would love to hear them!

    Thanks again for your support, it means a lot.

     

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 4:07 PM In reply to

    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    I wanted to say thanks again for responding to my post. 

    I wish like crazy the court order said to just keep the kids away from the cats, that I could work around!

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 4:07 PM In reply to

    • splum1
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    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    I applaud your love and dedication for your children and their pets, but that is the same love and dedication he must have to his children.  He can't put you and your wishes first over his children nor over the courts orders.   The courts have set an order and he must abide by it to have his children in his home. If you can't negotiate, or compromise, then you and him and the children and cats simply cannot be in the same house.  Quite alot considering you want to get married.  I may have missed how old his children are but you are looking at many years of living in separate homes.

  • Mon, Mar 7 2011 5:21 PM In reply to

    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Splum1, I agree with your comments- its just an impossible situation. My daughters are 16, 14 & 11.

    Do I give up everything we have, everything we are- or is this too much to ask of us? Don't we have any value or are we just pawns in their ugly game? What am I teaching my daughters?

    During the same court case it was argued by the ex that because my 11-year old daughter is 'bossy' that my fiance's daughters shouldn't come over to our home. for 30 minutes we talked about bossy 9, 11 & 12-year olds. Really? The magistrate finally said, "NEXT" to all that.

    During that same court case the ex alleged:

    that we don't let any of the children out of their rooms.

    that the children are "Extremely afraid" of their father.

    that because my fiance sometimes lets the kids crawl into bed with him that there was something 'wrong' and that the kids shouldn't be allowed to come over to our home.

    that she couldn't physically force the kids to come to visitation with their dad, she's too weak. This while bawling on the stand. They are 9 & 11. The judge told her, "This is court, not therapy. Get the kids to their visits, every time!"

     that the girls don't like me or my daughters and that's why she doesn't make them attend their visits.

    that "There MUST be something wrong there!"

    that we don't allow the girls to have any friends over.

    that the kids have a terrible relationship with their father, "Not like the great relationship they have with their Stepfather!"

    I wish I was making this all up- its all in the court record. 

    I thought we weren't supposed to give in to terrorists??  Its awful that the magistrate became one to us as well.  We were re-victimized by his ruling, by the order, by the courts.

     

  • Mon, Mar 4 2013 12:15 PM In reply to

    • Lezbhonest
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    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Going thru same situation. My husband & I are remarried and have suffered 9 years of his ex getting in our personal business & dragging him into court repeatedly. She tells the kids horrible things about their Dad & I but never has a problem with us keeping them when she & her b.f. Want to go on vacation or asking me to pick them up from school when their sick or can't get there on time. The worst thing is she works for the courts & knows every Judge & Master. 

    So we recently moved my Mother in our home who had kept my daughters cat when I got remarried so she would have a companion. My step son has allergies to numerous things so when my Mom moved in we kept the cat secluded to my daughters room in a 7 Bedroom home. We gave my step son the fully finished attic with its own heating/a/c unit & on a separate end of the home thinking he was allergic. We began looking for a home for our cat. As time went on he began to go in my daughters room & spending time with the cat. He realized that he had no reaction.

    When his Mom found out she got an Emergency Custody Hearing. Took him to an allergist with out our knowing & tried to get the Dr to state the cat was harmful to his health. The Dr did testing & found he has a mild cat allergy & his symptoms were  not animal related which would be on his hands, face & feet. He tested his breathing & found there was no change since 2009 when we had no cat in our home. He said to have our son monitor his symptoms & keep a journal. He prescribed a medication to clear up his exema & his Mom had him stop taking it after a few days conveniently before the follow up appt. again we knew nothing about Other than a call saying have him ready I wl be picking him up in 10 min. For a follow up appt. with the allergist. When she told him she wasn't giving him his medication the Dr even said how can I give my medical opinion when you're not following my orders.

     To shorten the length when brought tO court the ex stated her side of the story & when the judge asked if she had proof from a dr she said yes &i can "SUMMERIZE" what it says. The Judge ALLOWED her to put it in her own words & NEVER even read the dr report. When my husband was given a second to talk he told the Judge it was mischaricterized & his response was "that's your problem".  He removed custody of our son until we get rid of our animals & have our home fumigated then inspected but the craziest part was he put in his order that my husband CAN NOT PETITION THE COURT TO MODIFY CUSTODY UNTIL WE GET RID OF OUR PETS"!  He included our dog which was never part of her petition. His allergist has said in several reports that he would Never reccomended our son be removed from our home that would do much more damage to him than having a slight allergy. Now our son is an emotional wreck & has been seeing a therapist trying to get his Mom to believe he isn't allergic. All she says is wow your dad really did a great job convincing you of that. He is a 13 year old who is smart enough to know what he feels in his own body. 

    We refuse to comply to this & have since hired an attorney. She advised us not to give up our pets that are part of our family & we are fighting this currently. The sad part is the ex Keeps telling our son we are picking the animals over him. However his symptoms have not improved since he stayed here last which is 3 months ago. She has drug my husband through ***heck since day one & gets away with it because she works with these judges. There has been NOTHING DONE HERE THAT IS IN THE BEST INTREST OF THE CHILD. SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE THAT A RING IS BASED ON "MOM IS ALWAYS RIGHT & BEST 4 THE CHILD. 

  • Mon, Mar 4 2013 12:32 PM In reply to

    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Lezbhonest:
    have since hired an attorney.

    That's your problem right there.

    You should have had an attorney from the getgo.

    An attorney would have known how to object to the "summary" and get the Dr in to testify

    Now that you have an attorney, rely on him and not strangers on the internet.

     

    • The right of the people 
    • to keep and bear arms,
    • shall not be infringed.
  • Mon, Mar 11 2013 6:18 PM In reply to

    • tazzie2005
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    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    i know you posted this a while ago, but how did it turn out?

    she sounds nuts- i feel a lot of campassion for your situation and really hope she wasn't further able to manipulate you through the court system. as for the posters who coldly suggested you just "get rid of them" because it was giving the child health problems... give me a break! are you kidding me? the kid has allergies, not "health problems"- ever heard of benadryl? giving this ex any more leverage over your family is a mistake. i hope it worked out.

  • Mon, Mar 11 2013 8:13 PM In reply to

    Re: Ex saying we have days to get rid of our cats.

    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE

    I see there’s new posts on this thread, thought I’d update our story since my posts.

     Our court order to “Get rid of the cats.” Still stands.  Our family lived separately until we realized the damage to my step children and to all of us was just too great.  My co-worker agreed to take in our 3 cats.  My husband and step children moved back into our cat-free home.  He continued to have visitation 50% of the time. 

    Things took a strange turn shortly after they came home,  mysterious phone calls, strange people trying to befriend my teens & family members on Facebook, emails hacked, we were reported to our HOA, the local animal shelter, Child Protective Services, to local police, to state police, the social security administration, to the insurance fraud investigatory committee- all within a few months’ time for a variety of outlandish accusations.  Please keep in mind we have never been arrested, just normal boring people who love our animals and working on our lawn, lol.  Our idea of a big night is movies with the kiddos and getting to bed early!  A series of emails was sent to the entire administration of my workplace, demanding my immediate termination, my coworkers started receiving strange calls asking about me, my husband started to feel like people were following him at certain times in his vehicle.  The kids started mentioning that they’d seen some cars following slowly when they walked home from the bus stop. We noticed sometimes when we went out the front door cars would pull away quickly from the front of our house.  Then came the day my husband noticed something black hanging off the bottom of our car.  We drove straight to the police station, it was a GPS tracking device capable of reporting our live location within 10 feet. If you’ve never been stalked, I can’t describe to you the utter loss of safety, the knowledge that you are being watched, that perhaps someone is waiting until they can catch you alone… we are forever altered.  If you’ve been stalked, I’m so sorry and I hope you’ve found a way to find some peace. The county filed a crimianl stalking/harassment case when the GPS was tracked back to my husband’s ex and her husband.  We were granted immediate restraining orders against them to protect our family.  In court my husband’s ex was briefly allowed to show pictures of the inside of our home taken from the street before the judge stopped her. Its madness.

     Still, no one in the system ever questions her sanity, her ability to parent properly, her judgment, and all the claims she’d made up to that point? Really?  The reality is- no one will.  We are lost and alone with almost omnipotent judges either making wishy washy non-decisions and eternal postponements or making outlandish, tyrannical rulings like, 'Get rid of ALL the pets in the kingdom!!'  Its truly frightening. This is what's wrong with the system, there is no one taking a good hard look at the big picture here. It is a mess and real families are suffering, children are suffering.

     Yes, we have a great lawyer and we’ve had him through this whole debacle.  He’s very well-known and respected in our community.  He literally knows all the judges, magistrates, etc.  We owe him more than $10,000 at this point I’m sure.  He’s an awesome guy. He knows the system is totally unfair, blind and uncaring to truth and actual justice.  He’s done all he can for us in this joke we call a judicial system.

     We continued to try and turn the other cheek and live a good life with our children.  One day my stepdaughters arrived announcing, “We’re moving out of state on Wednesday!”  A shocking and frightening thing to hear when that other parent is so unstable.  Lawyers were called immediately and the next thing we knew, we had a letter delivered to our home stating she needed the children  to stay with us because she was moving. She moved 1000 miles away, leaving the kids with us, and filed suit to have the children removed from our custody due to our ‘unfit and unsafe home’. She stated in her paperwork that she had no choice but to move to Phoenix so she could attend school at University of Phoenix. (the system is a circus, seriously- no one even cared she stated that as a legitimate reason. Really? No schools at all she could attend in Colorado? None?  She can’t go to University of Phoenix anywhere but actual Phoenix?? Am I being PUNKED?) Anyhow, we suddenly had full custody while we waited for the next court hearing.  We were sad for my stepdaughters; we feel kids should have both their parents in their lives- but it’s been a relief that their mother is so far away.

     When the court hearing rolled around- 6 months later-  Finally a little justice for the girls when the judge denied her demand to uproot two children who are settled in a perfectly fine home, doing well in school, sports, music; enjoying friends and a normal life.  This was justice for the kids, but the judge only did it because it was the easy way out for him to get done.  He declined to rule on any child support and even though my husband told our story and directly asked the judge to reverse the order about the cats- the judge actually stated, “I’m not ruling on any of that.”  So no justice for my children or our pets.  And, no child support order.  So we’ve been having to bear the cost of the kids with no support until the next hearing.  There is no justice, not really.  It’s a bitter sham.  By default my stepdaughters are in a more stable environment, and I pray they still have a chance of turning out as halfway normal adults.  But we are still losers...

    As for our cats, we still can’t have them, or we risk the courts taking away our custody of the children over the massive ‘imminent danger’ of a mild cat allergy.  We’ve been so blessed to have some angels on earth that have helped us.  My co-worker kept our pets and treated them like they were his own for almost a year.  Now our cats live with our neighbor and we get to see them almost every day.  I have stopped hoping the judicial system will ever bring any justice our way; odds are better that my eldest step daughter will turn 18 in just a few years and I’ll bring my pets home that day.

     

    Anyone on here can say, “You could have done this…you should have done that… or I would have done this…", but the truth is, the courts can ruin your life, hurt innocent people, cause years of pain and struggle--- all to a ‘righteous’ party- and there’s not a thing you can do to stop it.

     

    My family has found a ‘peaceful’ bubble for now.  I’ll remember those of you going through similar ordeals in my prayers.  I pray for peace, sanity, harmony- and true justice, if that even exists.  God bless every one of you, thank you for taking the time to read and share with others.  It does make the world a better place.  I value each and every one of your opinions. You rock.  Do something nice for yourself and then do something nice for someone else.  Stay as far away from court as you can :)

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