I think your post needs some clarification. What courtesies were being extended; were the coutesies costing you money? What were your legal issues? Why did you think you could win w/o the stalking issue? You can contest her withdrawal with the judge if it would prejudice your case; although, I don't know if you want a hostile atty working for you.
As a consumer, I think you should be able to ask for strategic changes if affordability is an issue, but you must be prepared for the outcome; you may lose as a result. A decent atty would say ok and send you a letter documenting their advice and concerns and then move forward, if it's possible; if it's not possible in the atty's eyes to win with your strategy, then they may be duty bound to withdraw so as to not waste your money on a no win scenario. Remember, it's YOUR case and you're spending a lot of money.
Is it wrong for you to ask your doctor for a generic prescription alternative when the brand name drug isn't covered by insurance or is just to costly? Is it wrong to ask your doctor to help you with lifestyle changes instead immediately putting you on high blood pressure medication?
Maybe she was the wrong atty for you to begin with. I find it interesting that you've only become a problem after you have spent $10,000.00 and your money is starting to run low. Did it really take her 30 hrs (est. at $300.00/hr) to determine that you were a problem?
Some attys are not consumer friendly. Look for a competent atty, that puts YOU and your issues ahead of their ego and pocket.