will my DUI affect my custody battle.

Latest post 03-03-2011 9:18 AM by BigDadee63. 20 replies.
  • 03-02-2011 3:14 PM

    will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    I am about to file custody papers for my child, i am not married to my sons mother, i do see him every other day, but she will not allow me to take my son for the day or a weekend, i want to be more involved with my son he is about to turn 1 years old in may, i have a DUI that i received in OCT. of 2010, how bad will it affect me, how much custody will i be able to get.

  • 03-02-2011 4:03 PM In reply to

    • Kivi
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 01-01-2005
    • CA
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    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    It's not a good fact, but courts are reluctant to exclude the other parent from the child's life entirely.

    Given that we know nothing about her, we can only suggest that the courts use a standard of "what is in the best interest of the child?" Unless there is some damaging evidence about her, such as drug use, etc., courts often are reluctant to totally remove a young child from the parent who has been the primary caregiver since birth. The best interest of a child is to have both parents involved in his or her life.

    However, it does sound as if she has been rather "controlling" with respect to the visitation. I doubt if one DUI conviction is going to be enough for a family court to order supervised visitation, but even if it does, you probably will be able to get it to unsupervised after a few months. Is she breast feeding the child? Courts may be reluctant to order overnights for a child that is still an infant in that circumstance.

    Rather than file for outright custody, which might be difficult to get, why not file for a specific visitation schedule with the amount of time the child spends with you as well as overnight visits increasing as the child gets older. In the long run, having a specific schedule tends to reduce the arguments and it may force her to realize that when the child is with you on your time, she really has no say in what you do during your time, as long as no health or safety issues are involved.

  • 03-02-2011 4:08 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    Custody battle as in you want to be the primary residential parent? Short of her being abusive to the child, the courts are not likely to remove custody from mom and give it to you. I  agree with kivi about filing for visitation, that is a more likely scenario with shared legal custody.  Did you have the child with you at the time of the DUI? Do you drink alot? Do you have a known habit of drinking alot? No one can tell you a DUI doesn't matter, especially without knowing if the child was present or if you drink in the presence of your child....if a DUI impacts what you want will come down to the judge you get.

  • 03-02-2011 4:10 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    If you are recoginized as Dad--and there is no order in place to the contrary--what gives Mom right to make the rules ? Ask your attorney?



  • 03-02-2011 4:29 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    This is where it gets interesting... she lives at home with her mother, sister and brother but the siblings technically do not live there, they only use that place as their home adress, and live else where.

    her father lives in the garage(is that legal), and is a known alcoholic(not sure if he has a record), i was living in their home for a few months after my sons birth, her father hated the fact that i was living there, he would drink, get drunk and begin to harrass my sons mom, and his own ex wife, he even broke a window pane from being drunk, eventually i was driven out of the house, my sons mom was and is not ready for marriage so i left alone.

    also my ex's sister married her high school boyfriend just so that he can become a U.S. citizen so that he can be able to go to school, they are no longer together both have their own BF and GF now, never even lived together, only filed for state marriage certificate but never shared a life together.

    will reporting these things help me out?

    i know take a daily log and collect receipts dating back to november of 2010, my son is not breastfeeding anymore, i have tried scheduling couples counseling but my sons mother refuses to participate, i have pictures taken of "accidents" that my son has suffered under his mothers care, bruise on his forehead, blood blister on his finger, and rosebush scratch on back of his hand. i am not a drinker, i just made a bad decision.

     

  • 03-02-2011 4:35 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    She does allow me to visit him whenever i want, and does not restrict how long i can see him for, but she is there watching, and constantly checking up on us, although she does not know about my DUI, will the courts pull up my driving record?

    my problem is that she will not allow me to take him alone, to visit my family, to the park, let alone spend the night.

    i really want to be involved in my sons life, i want to be able to spend time with him alone, bring him around my family, i am not content with just seeing him a few hours a day, there is not much interaction that can be done there.

    i wont settle for anything less than 50/50 custody, i honestly believe that i can provide a better, and safer enviroment than she can.

  • 03-02-2011 4:36 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    "will reporting these things help me out?"

    No.  The family court does not care what her parents or siblings do.

    "i have pictures taken of "accidents" that my son has suffered under his mothers care, bruise on his forehead, blood blister on his finger, and rosebush scratch on back of his hand."

    NONE of that will get the child removed.  None of that appears to be signs of abuse either.  Kids get bumps, bruises, blisters, and scrapes.  Unless she attacked the child with a rosebush it isn't relevant.  Would you want the child taken from you because of those minor issues?

    "i wont settle for anything less than 50/50 custody,"

    Better be prepared to.  Nothing in your posts suggests a reason for a major modification of custody and that you would make a better parent than she would.

    "That's just my opinion, then again I might be wrong."  Dennis Miller

     

  • 03-02-2011 4:39 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    you may not get custody but you should get unsuprvised visits. You can certaily ask for every other weekend and one night during the week. Did you sign the birth cert? Seems like that family is totally toxic..probably better off you are not with her anymore.

  • 03-02-2011 4:42 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    If the courts main concern is the well being of the child.

    then i assume the court would not want the child living in an enviroment where people do not respect the law. i know this can backfire since i have a DUI but ultimately i am the father.

    As far as these "accidents" that has happened to my son, they are things that should not happen in my eyes, he is only 10months and cannot crawl, let alone walk. so where is the mothers supervision in all this?

  • 03-02-2011 4:43 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    There's no set answer. The DUI is certainly not going to help and may limit your ability to transport your child.

  • 03-02-2011 4:44 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    @oliviasmom

    i want 5050 custody, thats what i am aiming for, i did sign the birth certificate, and he has my last name.

    that family has so many problems, its too much to list.

  • 03-02-2011 5:00 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    Your plan of attacking her family with what you have won't help you and considering you have a very recent DUI, you may want to reconsider that approach.  As Lynn pointed out, your DUI may hinder your ability to even take the child depending on the results of what happen with you legally as a result of the DUI.

  • 03-02-2011 9:15 PM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    Lots of parents have DUI's. This may not affect you however it is unusual for 50/50 shared parenting of a child this young. Is the child in daycare now? Do you intend on putting the child in daycare when you work?

  • 03-03-2011 2:53 AM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    LEFTEE1426:

    If the courts main concern is the well being of the child.

    then i assume the court would not want the child living in an enviroment where people do not respect the law. i know this can backfire since i have a DUI but ultimately i am the father.

    Were you "respecting the law" when you chose to drive under the influence?  And "ultimately" she is his mother.

    You need a serious reality check on the bumps/bruises/scratches subject.  It happens.  It will get worse before it gets better.  He might even eventually break a bone or get stitches.  Very very common and does not point to the mother not watching him closely enough.

    Good luck.  You are going to need it.  I hope you have a good lawyer because if you stood before me (IF I were a judge) and said the things you have here I would wipe up the floor with you.

  • 03-03-2011 3:34 AM In reply to

    Re: will my DUI affect my custody battle.

    LEFTEE1426:
    i want 5050 custody, thats what i am aiming for, i did sign the birth certificate, and he has my last name. that family has so many problems, its too much to list.

    I agree with some of the other Reply's you have received here.

    It sounds to me, as there is no Court Ordered Custody or Visitation.  If that's the situation, [right now] the mother is not legally obligated to allow you any visits. 

    Are you sure, attacking or making any allegations against her (and her family) is a wise choice?  You aren't exactly a law abiding citizen yourself.  I suggest you reconsider your attitude towards her father. 

    I recommend you seek consultation from a local Family Law Attorney, to inquire about initial Custody Orders, and getting your Visitation Rights to the child.

    As other's have informed you, it is unlikely you will be granted 50/50 Custody of your child. The child's age, the fact that she is the primary caregiver, and you are not married, all stack the odds agianst you.

    You may want to also get a quick quote on what the State Guidelines are for Child Support.   

    Ok  I'm not a lawyer.  This is only my opinion /suggestion.  Most Replys' are based on information provided by the "original post" (OP).

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