How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

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Latest post 05-10-2011 1:32 PM by kath21. 11 replies.
  • 05-09-2011 10:44 AM

    How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    My child is 6 almost 7 and hates to go to his every other weekend visitations wtih his father. He wants for us to go back in front of the judge now to have the visitation stops. Is there an age that a child has to be that this can be done? Also wondering if the courts take into consideration on this decision at any age if there is mental abuse being done? We are in the state of Virginia. Not sure how different laws are from state to state.

    Thank you

  • 05-09-2011 10:51 AM In reply to

    Re: How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    If you have a court order for visitation, so far as I know, the child would need to be 18 years old.

    I don't think you are going to put a 6 year old in front of the judge to say he doesn't like visitation.

    He also probably does not like to eat vegatables, and would prefer ice cream for dinner every night.

    That's far to young for sure.

    If you can show your ex to be a danger to your child, maybe you could have things changed.  Even then, it's not very likely the court would stop the visitation completely.

    By the way, who is defining mental abuse?  You'd likely need to have your situation looked at by professionals to make that sort of judgement.  You saying it's happening isn't going to be taken very seriously without some proof of it occurring.

     

  • 05-09-2011 11:36 AM In reply to

    Re: How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    "Is there an age that a child has to be that this can be done?"

    18.  Unfortunately few states if any allow the child to choose and only a handful of states take into consideration the child's wishes but even those that do typically set the minimum age around 12 to do that.

    "Also wondering if the courts take into consideration on this decision at any age if there is mental abuse being done?"

    What the courts define as mental abuse vs feuding parents in a bitter divorce and custody dispute are often worlds apart.

    "He wants for us to go back in front of the judge now to have the visitation stops."

    HE does or YOU do?  If Dad really is treating him that bad then you can petition the court for supervised visitation until Dad stops putting his son in the middle of his beef with you.  Whether the court will agree is another matter.

    "That's just my opinion, then again I might be wrong."  Dennis Miller

     

  • 05-09-2011 12:03 PM In reply to

    Re: How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    The child is WAAAAAY to young to even be remotely considered. The father has a right to see the child. You are barking up the wrong tree if you thin the child gets a choice. Why doesn't he want to go to his Dads? How is the child being mentally abused? You need to take this in front of a judge and address parenting concerns and/or counselling if necessary.

  • 05-09-2011 12:31 PM In reply to

    18

    Father has a right to a relationship with his children. Children do not have the right to refuse.

  • 05-09-2011 12:34 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-30-2000
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    • Posts 49,583

    Re: 18

    Age 18 .

     

    Enlist and go on active duty .

     

    Otherwise find something different--kids do not get to make the rules!  You are in for 12 rough years if junior gets to make up his rules!



  • 05-09-2011 11:26 PM In reply to

    The same age...

    as when they can decide not to come home from visitation with Dad...

     

  • 05-10-2011 5:34 AM In reply to

    Re: How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    ilovemykids1:
    He wants for us to go back in front of the judge now to have the visitation stops.

    Even if this bright young child actually conveyed that desire to you; I have to wonder where he could have possibly got the idea that a judge would terminate the father's visitation rights.

    As the "custodial parent" you also have a responsibility to encourage the visitation with the father.  If you suspect that the father is somehow upsetting the child, that is a conversation you have with the father. 

    A simple response to the child could be: "I'll talk to your father about that".  As the other Reply's have informed you, this situation has about 12 more years to play out. 

    Again, I suggest you and the father have an adult conversation about this matter. 

    Ok  I'm not a lawyer.  This is only my opinion /suggestion.  Most Replys' are based on information provided by the "original post" (OP).

  • 05-10-2011 12:13 PM In reply to

    Re: How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    >>My child is 6 almost 7<<<

    How old was your child when you got separated from child's father?

  • 05-10-2011 12:25 PM In reply to

    Re: How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    ClydesMom:
     Unfortunately few states if any allow the child to choose...

    I understand you are probably simply trying to be sympathetic to the poster. God help us if the law ever becomes such that children get to dictate to their parents what they get to do.

  • 05-10-2011 12:41 PM In reply to

    Re: How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    Taxagent:

    ClydesMom:
     Unfortunately few states if any allow the child to choose...

    I understand you are probably simply trying to be sympathetic to the poster. God help us if the law ever becomes such that children get to dictate to their parents what they get to do.

    AMEN!

    If I had a dime for every kid I did a diagnostic study on that didn't have a medical problem but in reality needed the parent to at least figuratively "get to the seat" of the problem instead of allowing the child to run their lives I could retire very comfortably.

    "That's just my opinion, then again I might be wrong."  Dennis Miller

     

  • 05-10-2011 1:32 PM In reply to

    Re: How old does my child have to be to stop visitation?

    Unfortunately, it seems most parents aren't much more mature than their children, so what can we expect? 

    The situation will continue to escalate as long as children who never grew up become parents themselves and pass their "values" ("me first!") along.

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