Begging for legal help.

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Latest post 07-02-2011 1:38 PM by Just the Facts. 31 replies.
  • 06-30-2011 7:16 AM

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Begging for legal help.

     

    Hello, I need some help please. I had to move to Oregon when I got sick and lost my job. Now that I am transient, my husband files for child support and divorce in North Carolina.

     

    We have been separated for 11 years and there is a Mediated Consent Order on file in NC. He has not let me see my children in over NINE years, kept ALL my personal property and there has been no separation of marital assets.

     

    I need an attorney to represent me in court, because I have no way to travel to NC from Oregon. I called Legal Aid in North Carolina and they would not help me. I went to Legal Aid in Oregon whose attorney would not even talk to me. I have written the Bar in both states, but they were no help either. I even wrote the attorney generals of NC, OR and USA and contacted dozens of attorneys and firms, but no one will help.

     

    I am a full time college student with no income. My children have grown up without their mother, and I without them. I'm trying to get visitation, modification of support, joint custody, return of property, equitable distribution, Parental Alienation of Affection, Criminal Conversation, divorce, attorneys fees, court costs, travel expenses, and alimony.

     

    No one can give my daughters and I back all the years we have lost, but you could make a difference with a little compassion and help us now and for the future.

     

    The Judge dismissed his divorce, but now he hired an attorney and filed again.  I have no clue what to do or who to turn to for help.  I have read the court procedures and rules and do not understand any of it.  Now he and his attorney are lying to the Court that we are not even married and I have no way to fight him, that I be barred by laches when he has waited eleven years to even file.   I have filed response and counterclaim by mail to the NC Court, I do not know what to do next after I received a Motion for dismissal of all my counterclaims.  I even filed a greiveance against the attorney for lying to the judge with the NC State Bar.

     

    Isn't there a single person in America that will help anyone anymore?  How can a husband get away with taking away your children, keeping all your personal property that you ever owned your entire life and flat out lie to a Judge in the Court system?  Doesn't anyone care about preventing something that could possibly happen to them too anymore?  One day you may loose your job and not have any money, do you think anyone will help you either when you are not willing to help out another?  Why is our court system just about who has money anymore? 

     

    Can you point me in the right direction or do you know anyone that can help me?

     

    Sincerely,

    Marya D. Murr

  • 06-30-2011 9:36 AM In reply to

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    You have been separated for 11 years?  In all of those 11 years, did you work and save any money?  How or who is paying for your schooling now?

    In my humble opinion, if you've waited now 11 years, then I guess you could wait a bit longer, finish out whatever degree you can possibly get from the school you are going to.  Next, get yourself a job, and work and save.  Next, you hire a lawyer.  After 11 years, I imagine the only thing of personal assets you might want would be pictures or something like that. 

    I don't mean to be too blunt about this, but you have to help yourself a little bit here.

    Good luck

     

  • 06-30-2011 11:47 AM In reply to

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    OR does not have jurisdiction, NC does. And you have waited WAY too long to do anything about not seeing your kids. You moved clear across the country so the fact you have not see them sounds like it is on you. Also if you have kids to support you really do not get the option of not working, even if you are a student. What have you been doing this whole time that you have no job or money? Legal aid is not going to help you.

    Honestly, you should have moved back to NC A long time ago. Because you choose to live clear acorss the country, you have complicated this. If I were you, move back to NC..get a job and talk to an attorney.

  • 06-30-2011 12:04 PM In reply to

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    "He has not let me see my children in over NINE years, kept ALL my personal property and there has been no separation of marital assets."

    And what have you been doing for those 9 years to get them and your property back? The law requires you take action to preserve your rights or you risk losing them.

    "I am a full time college student with no income. My children have grown up without their mother, and I without them. I'm trying to get visitation, modification of support, joint custody, return of property, equitable distribution, Parental Alienation of Affection, Criminal Conversation, divorce, attorneys fees, court costs, travel expenses, and alimony."

    For startes, it sounds like you may have to leave college for a while and go back to work if you have any expectation of hiring an attorney and addressing any of these issues.

    While you likely have a basis for visitation and maybe return of personal property (although after 9 years you are probably deemed to have abandonned it) you can forget about the rest. YOU moved away - that makes you responsible for any travel costs. Equitable distribution of what? In our system each side is responsible for their own attorneys fees and court costs with vert rare exceptions.  Do you know what criminal conversation means? Because it has nothing to do with kids, visitation or property distribution.

  • 06-30-2011 3:43 PM In reply to

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    Yes I worked. Rent is high, cost of living is high.  I am an uneducated person who can only get low paying jobs. I lost my job because I got pheumonia and almost died. The medical bills are astronomical and far beyone my means.  I was ill longer than FLMA allows and disabled for six months. I was having trouble finding another job in the rotten economy, I am not a young person (nearly a senoir myself), and because he had me arrested when I was trying to get visitation.  Even though it was dismissed, it shows on my background check. 

    My parents are elderly so I came to Oregon to take care of them, because I could find no one to help me. Federal Financial Aid is helping me go to school and I am trying to help myself and others too here.

    I was forced to leave my family, job, and friends behind when he got the order to move to NC from CA in 2000.  I had nothing, he would not give me my things that the court ordered him to move. He has custody because he claimed I am mentally ill and I had no attorney then to fight him either ans was placed on supervised visitations.  Well there was no service for supervised visitation in NC and no one would help me then either.

    You misunderstand.  HE waited eleven years to file because it suits him to not let me to see our children which he threatened me for seven years that if I ever left him he would make sure I never saw my girls again.  I provided a cell phone so I could talk with them because he threatened having me arrested again if I called his house phone (which by the way the court orders say I can).  But when I got sick I could longer afford it.

    You are quick to judge this situation not knowing all the facts.  I am trying to help myself, I have been filing everything myself but I don't understand what I am to do next because the court rules/procedures are not in plain English.

  • 06-30-2011 3:47 PM In reply to

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    Yes,  It is adultry.  When you children tell you he is cheating on you because he is kissing another woman and they ask you if Miller Lite is Ginger Ale, it gives you a pretty clear indication the he is not following the courts orders of no overnight paramores and no drinking for 24 hours prior to being in thier presence.

  • 06-30-2011 3:49 PM In reply to

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    I lived near them until recently. see other post.

  • 06-30-2011 4:01 PM In reply to

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    >You misunderstand.  HE waited eleven years to file because it suits him to not let me to see our children which he threatened me for seven years that if I ever left him he would make sure I never saw my girls again.  I provided a cell phone so I could talk with them because he threatened having me arrested again if I called his house phone (which by the way the court orders say I can).  But when I got sick I could longer afford it.

     

    My ex wife told me the very same thing.  "You will NEVER see your daughters again"

    I went to a lawyer, and we battled it out.  I'm not saying it was easy, nor was it cheap.  But I did what I had to do.

    I realize you have your troubles, but you've had 11 years now.  And you are saying HE waited to file?  Why didn't YOU file? You DO have some say here when it comes to all of this!  You act like this has all happened to you, and you were completely defenseless and could do nothing.  If I took that attitude, I'd probably be in your same situation.  You need to step up to the plate, and do something about your situation.  That's MY advice for you!

     

     

  • 06-30-2011 4:02 PM In reply to

    • CJ
      Consumer
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on 08-02-1999
    • CA
    • Posts 1,616

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    Hello, I need some help please. I had to move to Oregon when I got sick and lost my job. Now that I am transient, my husband files for child support and divorce in North Carolina.

    First of all you aren't a transient.  You live with your parents and are a full time student. There is a big difference.

    When you didn't follow him and your girls and allowed this to drag on for 11 years really hurt your case. No one here is able to help you.  It's not that no one wants to ... it's just that your situation is pretty messed up and what your expecting is beyond reasonable.  I'm not clear why a judge would dismiss a divorce. There's something missing to your story.

  • 06-30-2011 4:20 PM In reply to

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    Your post is all over the place. How can you be nearly a senior and have minor kids? Slight exaggeration there. You are not going to get alimony most likely since you have been seperated so long. NC has jurisdiction so since you refuse to go back there or even take the advice given to you, I am not sure what else you can do. You are not a transient. You will get no where having no income. Ask your parents for help financially if you need to and hire a NC attorney. Stop listening to him and take all your court paperwork to a NC attorney. There is no way anyone in OR can help you.

  • 06-30-2011 4:31 PM In reply to

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    I am 54 years old.  I had my kids near age 40, they are 17 (almost 18) and 15.

  • 06-30-2011 4:33 PM In reply to

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    I did follow him to NC with absolutely nothing.  I was there until recently living close to them.

  • 06-30-2011 4:36 PM In reply to

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    Because every time I go to court something bad happens.

  • 06-30-2011 4:45 PM In reply to

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    I am trying to do something. That is why I asked for help which is not an easy thing for me to do.

  • 06-30-2011 4:48 PM In reply to

    • MDMurr
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 06-30-2011
    • OR
    • Posts 17

    Re: Begging for legal help.

    I do not know why the judge dismissed his first filing after I filed my response and counterclaim.  All I received was a paper saying the it was dismissed.  The next thing I got was a new filing from an attorney.

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