Teenagers rights regarding visitation

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Latest post 07-19-2011 6:46 PM by splum1. 11 replies.
  • 07-16-2011 4:20 PM

    Sad [:(] Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    I have a 14 year old son and 17 year old daughter who have been struggling with their relationship with their father since he has reentered their lives by moving back into the same city. This past year has been deeply stressful and heart wrenching due to the interactions with their father. They both would like me to go back to court to fight for their rights to have a say when and how often they spend time with him. They both feel his actions towards them are damaging...affecting their health, school and happiness. They would like to speak with a judge or a mediator to seek help.

    Their relationship has never been close, as my ex-husband tends to be non-interactive when it comes to relationships. He has openly expressed to both kids that he believes their attachment to me is unhealthy and that I have tainted their feelings towards him. He has also expressed his disappointment in their lack of respect. In addition, he recently allowed his new wife who has met the kids three times prior to lecture them on their short comings, insinuate they both display emotional issues and accuse them of lying. This has been very distressful for both children. They are both seminar kids, who do extremely well in school but they are also very sensitive and on the shy side when it comes to socializing. Teachers and parents alike would describe both as being very kind, respectful and dedicated individuals. Actually both children had gone to therapy and seen a court appointed mediator and were described as being  well-grounded, vibrant, happy kids. Although this past year my daughter has been treated with ulcer-type symptoms and my son has begun to display similar issues. My daughter is experiencing severe acne which may be greatly affected by stress. These issues with their father are definitely leaving a negative impact on their lives.

    It breaks my heart that I cannot protect my children from this difficult experience. Can anyone provide any insight to the rights my children and or I have in this emotional roller coaster? In addition, my ex-husband does have a history of depression and has been medicated for these issues. I do have concerns that his emotions could affect the choices he makes. 

  • 07-16-2011 4:29 PM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    Does he have court ordered visitation?

    I'm assuming he does. 

    What exactly is it you want to do here?  What is your objective?

    I'm sure you do realize, if you did take this to court, your ex husband has his own story on all of this right?

    I'm willing to bet it's going to counter yours.

    Good luck!

     

  • 07-17-2011 5:50 AM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    I know you didn't ask for advice on this but I felt I should tell you in case you were not aware.  Has your daughter seen a Dr. for the acne?  A good dermatologist would be really helpful in her situation.  There are topical creams and also oral antibiotics that can work miracles on acne these days.  Acne can scar for life and is a VERY difficult thing for a teenager to go through.  Many members of my husband's family went through terrible acne as teens and did not get treatment for it and many of them have scars covering their entire faces.  Just thought you'd appreciate the info.

  • 07-17-2011 8:07 PM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    Get help for the Acne as soon as you can. Continue to take them to see a therapist weekly and have the therapist talk to them privately it will look better for you. If the therapist sees anything that would indicate he is abusing them mentally or otherwise- maybe then you could get the visits changed to supervised or stopped. But  if he just acts like a jerk sometimes - that is not enough to stop visits! Maybe you all should do a therapy session together?

    Also do not ( no matter what) bad month the other parent or new wife to your kids- that is a form of parental alienation and manipulative. Very hard for kids to get over and they might grow up and hate you. Good Luck.

  • 07-17-2011 8:17 PM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    mickeyDneedsadvice:

    Also do not ( no matter what) bad month the other parent or new wife to your kids- that is a form of parental alienation and manipulative. Very hard for kids to get over and they might grow up and hate you. Good Luck.

    SO TRUE!!  My mother did this to me and my sibling and that's exactly what happened.  Now none of us want anything to do with her and in the end my dad ended up being the hero.

    I forgot to say that maybe even their pediatrician can prescribe something for the acne if you can't afford to start up with a dematologist.  Avoid Accutane like the plague though!!!

  • 07-17-2011 8:31 PM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    Truffles4me:
    Avoid Accutane like the plague though!

    I believe that has been pulled from the market.

    "That's just my opinion, then again I might be wrong."  Dennis Miller

     

  • 07-17-2011 9:43 PM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    ClydesMom:

    Truffles4me:
    Avoid Accutane like the plague though!

    I believe that has been pulled from the market.

    I have a friend who's on it, believe it or not!  She's not a very educated person and would rather have nice skin than worry about what could happen to her "insides".

  • 07-17-2011 9:50 PM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    Just checked, it's still on the market and is still being prescribed.

  • 07-18-2011 7:58 PM In reply to

    Teenagers have the right

    to abide by the court order, just like everyone else. You can always petition the court for a modification but the fact that the kids don;t want to see him is really not relevant. Visitation is HIS right. not theirs.

  • 07-18-2011 8:06 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: Teenagers have the right

    You all follow the court order, kids do not get to make up the rules-the fact that kids think Dad's visits interfere with their social time is totally not relevant. Dad has his right--so says the courts!  If anything society and courts want the other parent to have an active role in kids lives.



  • 07-19-2011 5:11 PM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    He does have court ordered visits that were established when he was living out of town. However, since he's been living here, the kids have seen him more frequently.

    As the relationships between the kids and their father has deteriorated in the past few months, I am seeking any information that will provide "some" or " any" rights for my children. They feel trapped by his calls and threats, and I am not sure what I can do for them. I have encouraged the kids to openly communicate with their dad about their relationship and in all honesty, I truly want them to work things out. But when the kids return from visits obviously upset, hurt and angry, I feel like I am failing them as a parent by not stepping in. Each time a visitation gets closer, stress and stomach aches arise. My ex-husband doesn't believe that either child is enduring stress from this situation, such that, he is not interested in addressing this because this is a problem I've concocted to sabotage his visitation rights.

    I am looking into finding an attorney to represent the children. As I am only interested in their rights and voice, it would seem that having their own attorney would best serve them. My interests should not be considered in this situation at all, as I see it. 

    Does anyone have any information about legal representation for children?...Thanks!

     

     

  • 07-19-2011 6:46 PM In reply to

    Re: Teenagers rights regarding visitation

    You are only obligated to follow whatever the court has ordered.

    If the orders say one weekend a month (because he was out of town) and nobody has filed to modify the orders, then that is all you have to allow the visitation to be.

    Until the court order is changed, you only have to allow what is court ordered.  If it is such a problem, and he is causing this harm to them, consider only following the ordres and stop giving him extra time.  If he wants to modify the orders to more, then he can file.   I would pursue the children's attorney as well. Check with a family attorney, they can advise you.

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