Thank you Drew. I am surprised that in my conversation with the school they are not indicating that they HAVE a certain code that allows or disallows you to retain a child. They (the school) seem to indicate it is their decision but that's just their opinion and not verified by a school code or fact, which is what I expected. As you stated had I done this at an earlier age it would not have been a problem which makes abslolutely NO sense to me. IF you feel your child is struggling (But not yet failng) why wait for failure to hold him/her back. I have the right to use my intuition and intelligence when the child is 6 but not when they are 12? Do we suddenly become stupid once the child passes age 8 and are incapable of making this decision any more?
I pay taxes in my town for my child to go to school. If it takes an extra year for him/her to become a successful student and excell in college isn't that the actual goal of the school? Doesn't that make the school system succesful? Also, why doesn't the school realize that they are putting themselves in a very difficult position by defying the wishes of the parent and student. If the child continues to struggle and eventually fails, than that it truly is the school systems fault. If the child is held back and still doesn't succeed than it is likely the child would have failed anyway and the blame is not really on the schools shoulders exclusively - a much safer path in my opinion.
Lastly, it seems the decision is arbitrary because I have taliked to 5 people who held their children at varying ages, all were allowed by the school and one was in the exact same grade as my child. I also spoke to a parent who was held back by his parents when he was younger - as a graduate of West Point he felt it was a very wise decision on his parents part. So I guess ultimately you are correct, it is according to school code but that is not what I am being told, I am being told it is at their discression and I am surprised and disappointed that the instinct/will of the parent concerning the well being of their child is not the overriding factor. The schools ultimate interest is the school. The parents only interest is the child - in my opinion this should clearly outweigh the school because the parent (and child) will have to deal with this decision for the rest of their lives, the school only cares about them (if at all) during the tenure of their school attendance.