I don't want my dad in a nursing home but hospital put him-

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Latest post 10-03-2011 8:24 AM by splum1. 4 replies.
  • 10-02-2011 4:44 AM

    • tgutr
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 04-26-2005
    • Posts 52

    I don't want my dad in a nursing home but hospital put him-

    in one.  He hates it. he's not eating. I want him HOME.

    My dad moved in with me less than two months ago, after being discharged from the hospital after a fall / infection from a feeding peg(?) from 7 MONTHS prior..Me, living an hour and a half from where he'd been living with his brother.
    (at discharge his brother didn't want to come get him again.. suddenly saying it was too much ..after taking two months of "prepaid" rent weeks before ..

    which is fine, because at the time I thought it was OK but found out from my dad his brother wasn't FEEDING him enough.. getting him simple care needs (like taking him to the store to get a CANE that the Dr. prescribed)

    Now, a month and a few weeks into living with me..
    my dad was scheduled for a surgery/possibly 2 to finally clean and close his infected wound properly.
    WELL this turned into 4 surgeries, in 2 weeks..
    and suddenly instead of coming home, a social worker(s) from the hospital, have talked him into spending almost all of his Social Security income a month, on a nursing home/rehab. facility.
    After the surgeon reassured me.. over and over.. he has no "wound care" he simply has IV antibiotics that need to be changed daily.
    After, the head social worker FIRST said we could have home health come.. volunteers..
    or I could be taught how to do the IV bags, as we live so far from the hospital
    (OR that another of their hospitals 15 mins from our home, might do it)..
    after I went to visit my dad in the hospital the night before he was discharged, and explain to him what the surgeon said and HOW we could take care of him at home..
    and another damn nurse came in and talked him into going to a rehab AGAIN..
    And, said nurse lied to me saying he would not be discharged until the following week, I called the following evening to check on him and he's already gone.

    SO my question is..
    HOW can we get him moved home? What does this involve?
    He hates the nursing home, isn't eating (which the surgeon stressed over and over that the only way for him to heal is to get the proper nutrition PLUS alot of PROTEIN)..
    is suddenly sleepy all the time when I talk to him and normally has sleeping problems
    ( I don't know if this is lack of food/depression or overmedication)
    *I have not been able to visit him since he was put in the home day before yesterday as I have not had the gas)

  • 10-02-2011 2:27 PM In reply to

    Re: I don't want my dad in a nursing home but hospital put him-

    tgutr:
    SO my question is..
    HOW can we get him moved home? What does this involve?

    If your father is mentally competent, then it's up to him where he stays. In that case, you need to convince him to get out of the nursing home and come home with you.

    Unless you have a valid health care power of attorney for him already, then if he is incompetent, you'll need to go to court and petition to have him declared incompetent and for the court appoint you as his guardian.

  • 10-02-2011 3:08 PM In reply to

    • DPH
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 10-08-2001
    • TX
    • Posts 7,439

    Re: I don't want my dad in a nursing home but hospital put him-

    tgutr:
    and suddenly instead of coming home, a social worker(s) from the hospital, have talked him into spending almost all of his Social Security income a month, on a nursing home/rehab. facility.

    Have you discussed Medicare with the rehab place?  He should qualify, depending on his age, for 90 days on Medicare which would pay about 80% of the cost.  Does he have a Medicare supplement to pick up the other 20%?

    If your father decides he wants to stay in the home, that's likely his business.  No homes or rehab places are likely to keep someone against their will unless they are incapable of caring for themselves or have caretakers "onboard" to assist.

     

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."  -  Mark Twain

     

  • 10-02-2011 5:50 PM In reply to

    • LG81
      Consumer
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on 01-03-2010
    • Posts 4,338

    Re: I don't want my dad in a nursing home but hospital put him-

    tgutr:
    have talked him into spending almost all of his Social Security income a month, on a nursing home/rehab. facility.

    It sounds as though you may be having difficulty with the social worker.  Part of a social worker's role in a hospital setting is to help manage things like insurance, finding suitable facitlities that would be covered by his insurance, etc.  All of that said, if he has medicare and supplements, he should be covered for a period of time.

    I am neither an attorney nor a medical professional, but I can share what I learned based on personal experience and hope it helps you navigate through all this and know what to ask.  In my mom's situation, she was in the hospital five months (mostly in ICU) before she passed.  The doctors were never able to pinpoint the exact diagnosis.  There were a couple of times that she started to do better and went to a step-down floor and even at one time went to an intermediate facility (a step between hospital and a rehab facility -- that lasted only a day before she had an episode that put her back in ICU at the hospital).  Anyway, when there were times the doctors thought it was possible for her to survive the illness, we talked extensively about rehab facilities.  Due to all of the nerve damage from the undiagnosed illness, she would have needed several months of painful rehab.  In talking with the social worker, medicare, and her supplemental insurance company, I learned she would be covered up to a certain point.  The point where she would no longer be covered is would have been the point where no further progress was being made and she was just in a stabilized mode.  Since she never made it that far, it became a non-issue.  Her case was also a little tricky because she was a nurse and had worked in several nursing homes before, and she knew which were good and which were not in her geographical area.  With all the ***heck she went through in her illness and with being a great nurse, I feel she earned that right to be picky.

    As for homecare, I will share my dad's situation.  When he was dying, I had flown down to spend Thanksgiving with him (he was not in hopsital at that time).  When I arrived, he was in such poor shape that I had to take him to the ER.  (He was so sick that the stubborn strong man whom I loved to pieces put up no arguement when I asked him if I could take him to the hospital.)  He was there a few days, and with healthcare being what it is, they needed to boot him to a rehab facility.  I wasn't happy with this, and neither was he, but it was our only option.  I helped in the transport to the facility.  It was heart-breaking.  His ward smelled of urine.  As I helped him get settled in, it took often over an hour for a nurse to respond to a need (even urgent needs).  He was there a week before he had a major medical incident that put him back in the hospital.  When he was ready to be released back to the nursing home, he pleaded with all of his weak energy to not go back to the nursing home.  He had been not only miserable in the nursing home but also even frightened (and we're talking about a very, very strong and brave man).  My brother, extended family, and I worked it out for him to be released for homecare.  We were fortunate in that one of my older cousins is a retired nurse who lived only a few miles away (so we didn't need to hire outside help).  The biggest advantage of this was that he had folks taking care of his medical needs who knew him and loved him.  He was released into homecare. 

    I share with you my mom's situation to hopefully give you information about questions to ask about insurance coverage for a nursing home.  I share my dad's situation to hopefullly give food for thought.  You might want to consider having a heart-to-heart conversation with your dad to understand his true desire - whether to rehab in a facility or to stay with you.  You can't push him into anything (as long as he is legally competent), but if you sense that he may want to be at home, you can explain to him how care would be provided (whether through a home health worker or by you once you have been trained).  You can lay out a plan for doctor follow-ups as appropriate, so that he is not frightened that you may miss a symptom that requires medical attention, etc.

    Best of luck to you.

  • 10-03-2011 8:24 AM In reply to

    Re: I don't want my dad in a nursing home but hospital put him-

    You said ...:talked him into going to a rehab AGAIN"...If it was with his consent and he is not incompetent, and you have no legal say over his medical decisions, then you must respect what he decided to do.

    Rehab following an inpatient hospitalization is typically paid for by medicare. Maybe you need to get clarity on the payment of this all, but again, if this was his decision, you won't be able to move him because you want to.

    I agree with the information TaxAgent has provided.  Best of luck.

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