Is she still entitled to spousal support?

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Latest post 01-28-2012 4:11 PM by Drew. 7 replies.
  • 01-07-2012 5:31 PM

    Is she still entitled to spousal support?

    Okay, here's my story. Married for 9 years, and have now been separated for 3 years and 2 months. Ex-wife has always refused to work, and will come up with reasons that she can't. I have a good job, but only had this job for the last year of our marriage before she left. At that time we were only paying back debt with my income instead of gaining assets, or leading an extravagant life. Now, I have been responsible to pay her both child support, and spousal support based on my annually increasing income, while she now "goes to school", claiming she's going to become a doctor which will never happen as she will quit before that happens.

     I also have the children 50% of the time. I am paying her $1400 child support per month, and $1700 in spousal support. She is fighting for more, and a further 3 years of spousal support but is now living with a partner that makes even more money than me.

    How is it possible that I can be responsible for spousal support going forward for that amount of time? Can I just stop paying spousal and continue to pay child support? If I do so, is it possible to have my wages garnished? It is ridiculous that I can still be responsible while she is with a new partner. She is leading a much more extravagant lifestyle than me, yet I am expected to pay?

    I feel like I should just stop paying spousal, and let the battle begin, but what would the outcome of this be?

    I have no issue paying my child support. But the spousal aspect drives me crazy. I can't be responsible for this grown woman for 6-7 years after the marriage break up, while she has a new partner and they live half off of me.

  • 01-07-2012 5:46 PM In reply to

    Re: Is she still entitled to spousal support?

    Hi,

    I can certainly understand.

    You do have a lawyer right?

    If you agreed to something in court, you are best to pay what you agreed to.  You can't just stop paying on something if it is what you agreed to.  Well, sure you can, but not without some consequences right?

    If she wants to fight for more, then she can.  But let her take you to court, and let your lawyer deal with it if you want my opinion.   If you are just listening to her threats and getting nervous, I'd say stop doing that.

    My ex wife threatens to take me to court about every other week.  I have finally learned to just ignore and let my lawyer deal with it.  It usually amounts to nothing.

    I will be probably not the first person to tell that life is not always fair.

    If you agreed to this spousal support, unless the legal system says otherwise, you'd be best to keep paying.

    And definitely, I'd say talk to your lawyer and see if you can do something to change it.

    I wish you the best of luck!

     

  • 01-13-2012 11:33 AM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
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    Re: Is she still entitled to spousal support?

    I would not put it past her to be smart enough to drag out the paper marriage until it hits 10.1 years--that way she taps into your SS down the road . Now directly its no major skin off your nose but if you can postion yourself to be able to close the door before it hits 10 years you might have better barter leverage

     

    Generally the income of ones partner is not relevant to your debates --but a good lawyer on your side of the table may be able to  posture her  well off lifestyle in such an adulterous relationship against her credibility in asking for more , especially for herself. But to attack her lifestyle requires care--best left to counsel.

    If you stop paying as ordered you just handed her free ammunition.



  • 01-13-2012 11:37 AM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
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    Re: Is she still entitled to spousal support?

    You didn't post your state--

    Adulty is not much of a big deal most places in 2012 and maybe no deal at all--  BUT some places its still a factor in debates about the bad side's alimony issues.



  • 01-13-2012 11:44 AM In reply to

    Re: Is she still entitled to spousal support?

    According to your particular state- spousal support is pending the divorce- what is the status of your divorce?  If there is an order for spousal support- you can't just stop paying.  There are different factors considered for awarding spousal support and awarding alimony- after the divorce.  You need to get your divorce and property issues resolved.

  • 01-13-2012 1:17 PM In reply to

    Re: Is she still entitled to spousal support?

    I can't imagine that you weren't obligated to pay spousal support before/that it was addressed in the divorce as of three years ago.  Your post isn't very detailed about decree or what opposition your counsel/you put up to X, whether that issue was reserved in the decree, and you also didn't bother to say where you are.  Your average court would not have her not getting spousal support all along and just now decide to award it to her.

    You are/were free to ask the court to set a time limit on the length she'd be able to get spousal support, esp. if she chooses not to do X.

    "I am paying her $1400 child support per month, and $1700 in spousal support."

    One presumes that you addressed with counsel what's what in terms of calculations as to child support in particular based on X custody arrangement.

    We cannot know in your unnamed state whether cohabitation with an unrelated partner on a full-time basis is something the court will take into account as to support.

    "How is it possible that I can be responsible for spousal support going forward for that amount of time?"

    This isn't a productive question to put to strangers.

    "Can I ust stop paying spousal and continue to pay child support?"

    Sure, but you'd be held in contempt.

    "If I do so, is it possible to have my wages garnished?"

    Of course.

    "I feel like I should just stop paying spousal, and let the battle begin, but what would the outcome of this be?"

    You being held in contempt and having to pay her legal fees to boot.

    You need to get off the internet and consult with local counsel.

  • 01-28-2012 4:11 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
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    Re: Is she still entitled to spousal support?

    If I were to be granted a $XXX,XXX/yr payout  subject to rule that I not remarry --why would I rush to get marry a live in friend.--(absent an even stronger legal or tax reason)



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