OK Folks after a very very long and detailed negotiation with the STBX and explaining that a highly contested divorce will probably run upwards of 100K (attorneys fees, SSDI investigation, etc) we have (at least at the moment) agreed on this:
1. The house is worth 140K and I owe 135K, I get the house. (It is in my name only)
2. She can have up to 50K of my 401K (currently at 51K but changes daily depending on the market). If the 401K is less than 50K she gets it all. She is responsible for any taxes on it.
3. Hex ex owes her 12K, it's hers.
4. I will pay rehabilitive spousal support of 2K per month for 36 consecutive months. (3 years). The spousal support will end permanently if either party dies. It will end permanently if she remarries. It will end permanently if she cohabitates with someone according to the CT State definition of cohabitation. The first payment will be on the day the divorce is finalized. This will equalize the incomes to approx 44K for her and 66K for me. Support taxable to her, tax deductable for me.
5. She is currently on medicare and will remain on medicare for medical benefits.
6. I will have no responsibility to her adult children.
7. She gets the 2008 car that is already paid off. I get the other 2010 car that has 5 more years to go to pay it off.
8. I am allowing her to take whatever she wants from the house (within reason) with her. She can come and go as she pleases to move stuff.
9. I will keep the approx 10K that is in my personal checking account but will help her with moving expenses until everything is finalized.
10. We will use www.3stepdivorce.com to do this (no attorneys) and I will pay all court fees.
If she does not change her mind then it will become a simple uncontested divorce and we can both seperate amicably.
Any and all comments are welcome, I would like to hear everyone's opinions.