Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

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Latest post 12-12-2012 8:43 PM by foolishman. 75 replies.
  • 02-21-2012 8:23 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    Well wife finally found an apartment and is in the process of moving out. Let the fun and games begin..

  • 02-25-2012 2:01 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    OK Folks after a very very long and detailed negotiation with the STBX and explaining that a highly contested divorce will probably run upwards of 100K (attorneys fees, SSDI investigation, etc) we have (at least at the moment) agreed on this:

    1. The house is worth 140K and I owe 135K, I get the house. (It is in my name only)

    2. She can have up to 50K of my 401K (currently at 51K but changes daily depending on the market). If the 401K is less than 50K she gets it all. She is responsible for any taxes on it.

    3. Hex ex owes her 12K, it's hers.

    4. I will pay rehabilitive spousal support of 2K per month for 36 consecutive months. (3 years). The spousal support will end permanently if either party dies.  It will end permanently if she remarries.  It will end permanently if she cohabitates with someone according to the CT State definition of cohabitation. The first payment will be on the day the divorce is finalized.  This will equalize the incomes to approx 44K for her and 66K for me. Support taxable to her, tax deductable for me.

    5. She is currently on medicare and will remain on medicare for medical benefits.

    6. I will have no responsibility to her adult children.

    7. She gets the 2008 car that is already paid off.  I get the other 2010 car that has 5 more years to go to pay it off.

    8. I am allowing her to take whatever she wants from the house (within reason) with her. She can come and go as she pleases to move stuff.

    9. I will keep the approx 10K that is in my personal checking account but will help her with moving expenses until everything is finalized.

    10. We will use www.3stepdivorce.com to do this (no attorneys) and I will pay all court fees.

    If she does not change her mind then it will become a simple uncontested divorce and we can both seperate amicably.

    Any and all comments are welcome, I would like to hear everyone's opinions.

  • 02-25-2012 2:50 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
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    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    Make sure your words as to alimony fit it IRS rules otherwise you won't be able to deduct it.

    Double check how you treat 401K

    You are dealing with a gal who seems to be 2 steps ahead of you!

    Get a quit claim deed to home from her



  • 02-25-2012 6:07 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    If I am correct, if the decree says "spousal support" then it follows alimony tax laws.

    No quit claim needed, house is in my name only, but thanx for the reply. Anyone else?

  • 02-25-2012 8:10 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    foolishman:
    Anyone else?

    Yes.

    If you take the money out of the 401(k) and give it to her, you pay the tax.

    If you split out her share of the 401(k) with a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) then your employer will create a separate non-employee 401(k) account in her name that is treated as her own 401(k) which she can roll over into an IRA. If she pulls out the cash after her 401(k) is created in her name, then she pays the tax.

    Make sure you draft the QDRO along with the court documents and decree. If I remember my own correctly, the QDRO has to be signed by the judge to become a court order. Best to do it with the decree.

    You would be wise to find out who, at the custodian of your 401(k) account, handles incoming QDROs. It won't be their first time and they will likely be able to give you an approved format.

    If you use a form from the internet or from a document service, make sure you submit it to the custodian of your 401(k) account for approval of the format before you finalize it with the court. When I did mine the custodian of my ex's account had me make a few corrections.

     

    • The right of the people 
    • to keep and bear arms,
    • shall not be infringed.
  • 02-25-2012 9:23 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    So how long are you going to pay alimony for? What if she never remarries or co habitates? Are you going to pay her a less amount after 3 years? She probably will never remarry or cohabitate just so she can squeeze you for everything. Giving her your entire 401k is generous..you now get to start all over again for retirement. that should shave off some alimony years, IMO.

  • 02-25-2012 10:40 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    Thanx for the advice on the 401K, I will have to look into that. I will not take the money out of the 401K, I am giving the 401K to the wife. To Oliviasmom, I will pay alimony for 36 months (3 years) upon which it ends permanently.  All of this I am doing so as NOT to take a chance that a judge will award permanent alimony for life.  I may be wrong, but this appears in my best interest.

  • 02-25-2012 11:28 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    foolishman:
    Thanx for the advice on the 401K, I will have to look into that. I will not take the money out of the 401K, I am giving the 401K to the wife.

    Actually, you aren't "giving" her your 401(k). It remains yours and you'll be able to continue making contributions in the future if you want to.

    What happens is that the custodian of the account sets up a separate 401(k) account in her name and transfers the amount of money that you designate.

    Read this:

    http://www.401k.org/AboutPlans/GeneralInformation/401kandDivorce/tabid/66/Default.aspx

     

     

    • The right of the people 
    • to keep and bear arms,
    • shall not be infringed.
  • 02-26-2012 10:39 AM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
    • Posts 49,130

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    Personally I would NOT educate the enemy as to any tax issues of 401K --I'd merely agree to execute a QDRO to tune of 50K tops



  • 03-24-2012 6:33 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    Update.. OK I filed and wife has been served.  Court day of divorce is July 19, 2012.  Now it is down to:

    a. Will wife contest our agreement before that date.

    b. Will the judge accept it. I have been told that in cases with a disabled spouse a short term alimony will not be accepted.

    All comments welcome.

  • 07-18-2012 7:22 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    OK Folks it's July 18 and the night before we go before the lady judge (just my luck).

    At the moment we have filed paperwork with the court.  Neither one of us has an attorney and we are uncontested as the STBX has accepted my offer.  The legal advice I received is that this lady judge will not accept the offer.  I guess tomorrow I will find out.  Thanx all.

  • 07-19-2012 7:29 PM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    All finalized today!.  Got lucky and did not have the lady judge.  The reason I am told is a judge in CT recently died in his home and judges had to be moved around.  I got a man judge who accepted the agreement.

    Wife gets 58K (100%)  from 401K via a QDRO and she is reponsible for any fee's, penalties, taxes, etc.

    She gets $2000/month alimony.

    If she cohabitates it drops to $1000/month alimony.

    If she gets married alimony ends.

    The term of the alimony is 36 months of which I have so far paid 6 months and the 36 months term is NON-modifiable.

    She is responsible for her own health insurance.

    She got the one car that was paid off.

    According to attorneys I have consulted with, I got the deal of a lifetime.  Her disability was not even mentioned in court.

    My advice to anyone is to ALWAYS try to negotiate your own divorce without money-hungry attorneys.....if you can.

    I am not sure if I am happy since I never wanted the divorce and will now be labeled as a 2-time loser by some, but I am relieved to avoid what could have been a lifetime disaster.

    Thank you all who responded with advice.  I hope my posts here may help someone in CT.

    Mark

     

  • 07-19-2012 9:59 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
    • Posts 49,130

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    --I do NOT know it the party's own agreement is appealable but I think it unwise to find out the hard way.My suggestion--lay low and keep your mouth shut until the appeal window has safely closed



  • 07-20-2012 4:25 AM In reply to

    • DOCAR
      Lawyer
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    • Joined on 12-09-2000
    • NV
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    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    foolishman:
    My advice to anyone is to ALWAYS try to negotiate your own divorce without money-hungry attorneys.....if you can

    Congratulations.  Good suggestion, the only exception I would take is that Attorneys are no more money hungry than doctors when you are sick, or a mechanic when you need your car fixed, or an accountant when you need your taxes done, etc.

  • 07-20-2012 5:28 AM In reply to

    Re: Connecticut Lifetime Alimony

    foolishman:
    My advice to anyone is to ALWAYS try to negotiate your own divorce without money-hungry attorneys.....if you can.

    The key part there being "if you can." Most people who handle legal matters on their own don't do a very good job of it because they lack the necessary knowledge and skills. That's why there are lawyers — to provide that service. For minor legal matters, you do it yourself and if you mess it up it's not a big deal. But as the stakes go up, there is a point at which prudent people will decide the risk is too great and seek professional help. It's no different than any other situation in life. If you have minor cut, you get out a bandage and treat it yourself. If you've just been stabbed in the abdomen to the hilt of 10 inch knife by an attacker, you'll want to get to a doctor. If you have a simple tax return, you may want to do the return yourself. If it's a complex situation, you'll want a tax professional to do the return for you.

    Why people think that lawyers are more "money hungry" than any other occupation or profession is beyond me. Lawyers want to be paid for their work like anyone else. That's not unreasonable. After all, we have bills to pay, too.

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