Visitation out of state with NCP

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Latest post 02-08-2012 3:49 PM by DPH. 4 replies.
  • 02-08-2012 11:47 AM

    • ncnanna
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 02-08-2012
    • NC
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    Visitation out of state with NCP

    My daughter's ex husband moved to his home state of West Virginia. NC was their state of residence for the marriage and where their daughter was born. My daughter has allowed him visitation anytime he wants to come visit. We even took her to WV, covering all the travel expenses for her to visit him for the weekend. 

    Now he wants my daughter to meet him in Virginia and let him have the child (a three year old) for a week.

    They have not been to court for any formal custody agreement, because my daughter does not want to prevent him from seeing his daughter.

    My question is, is it likely that she would be required to let him take her out of state for visitation.

    She offered to bring her to WV to visit him again for a few days, but he's insistant that he have her for a week and be allowed to travel with her to visit his family in NY.

    She has never been away from her mother for that long and does not want to go.

    A bit more info to shed light on why she does not want to let her go for a week.

    The father has a history of drug and alcohol use. He has 2 outstanding DUI's in NC that he failed to appear in court to face. That is one of the reasons he doesn't want to visit in NC. He has no NC drivers liscense.

    She does not want her daughter traveling with this man given his history.

    Does he have any rights to force her to let him take her out of state, when he is the one who chose to relocate from the state she has always called home or should he have to visit her here?

  • 02-08-2012 11:56 AM In reply to

    Re: Visitation out of state with NCP

    ncnanna:
    They have not been to court for any formal custody agreement, because my daughter does not want to prevent him from seeing his daughter.

    A formal custody agreement will not keep him from seeing his daughter.  What it does is define the terms under which he does get visitation.  It is in your daughter's best interest to get one given the issues he has.

    ncnanna:
    The father has a history of drug and alcohol use. He has 2 outstanding DUI's in NC that he failed to appear in court to face. That is one of the reasons he doesn't want to visit in NC. He has no NC drivers liscense.
    .

    If his privilege to drive is suspended or revoked in NC then with the driver's license compact agreement it is likely suspended in WV as well.  If it were me I would inform Dad that until he clears up his issues and is allowed to legally drive he will need to visit in NC and cannot transport child by driving personally.  

    ncnanna:
    She has never been away from her mother for that long and does not want to go.

    What a 3 year old toddler wants is not the issue.  The courts are not going to consider that.  Mom needs to be fostering the child's independance from her and visiting Dad will not be restricted because the kid doesn't want to leave Mommy.

    ncnanna:
    Does he have any rights to force her to let him take her out of state, when he is the one who chose to relocate from the state she has always called home or should he have to visit her here?

    Once he is stable and able to legally transport her the courts are not going to restrict him taking the child out of state or to visti other relatives any more than they would Mom.  

    "That's just my opinion, then again I might be wrong."  Dennis Miller

     

  • 02-08-2012 12:16 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
    • Posts 49,518

    Re: Visitation out of state with NCP

    Absolutely dumb and unwise and unsafe---but just one lay view:

    Right now  mom and dad probably have about equal rights as to child --and if dad has child he could take off for remote wilderness of Maine or simply refuse to return child. True, mom may be de facto the custodial parent but that and $1.99 gets you coffee.

    If your daughter and granddaughter are residents of NC  she could bring an action to have child returned to  NC--but that's easier said than actually carried out  and if she waited to long its quite possible that Dad and granddaughter would be residents of Maine or wherever.

    The far far safer route is to seek a custody order in NC. No doubt Dad can get some element of visitation as a right--and with care your daughters lawyer can probably get some element of supervision written into order and its not entirely rare that an order call for a drug test prior to each exercise of visitation. 

    In general--where a parent goes on their visitation time with own child is not much concern (but not outside of USA!)

    If Dad proceeds to violate a court order --its a lot easier to chase him and get child back or seek other sanctions....

    Grandpop--make sure your daughter gets a custody order in place first if you want to count on seeing your granddaughter in near future.

    Your daughters hesitation is based on an incorrect view of issue.  Is there something else going on?

    What is being done about Dad paying child support?  Let me guess?

     



  • 02-08-2012 2:53 PM In reply to

    Re: Visitation out of state with NCP

    Mom and Dad have equal rights to custody.  Without formalized court orders, if she gives him the child and he decides to keep her,  he is legally within his right to do so.

    Mom needs to file for custody and get his visitation outlined before she turns the child over.

     

  • 02-08-2012 3:49 PM In reply to

    • DPH
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 10-08-2001
    • TX
    • Posts 7,553

    Re: Visitation out of state with NCP

    ncnanna:
    They have not been to court for any formal custody agreement, because my daughter does not want to prevent him from seeing his daughter.

    Extremely unwise on daughter's part.  She needs to file for a custody order immediately in NC.  If Dad isn't paying CS, now is the time to get that in place also.  Dad will get some visitation, but considering his license issues, it may have to be in NC for awhile.  At some point your daughter can expect that Dad is going to get unsupervised visitation and probably out of state.  If she lets the child go now, without a court ordered agreement, Dad can take her anywhere he wants and not bring her back.  Without a court ordered custody agreement he has as much right to her as your daughter.

    Get your daughter headed to a local attorney asap.

     

     

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."  -  Mark Twain

     

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