Am I entitled to any spousal support as husband?

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Latest post 03-01-2012 2:48 PM by Chancey1. 4 replies.
  • 03-01-2012 12:53 PM

    • Torn123
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    Am I entitled to any spousal support as husband?

    Hello, I recently was informed by my wife of almost 18 years that she wants a divorce. I was floored and am still heartbroken and confused. We have 2 children 14 and 17. While we make good income together she has always outearned me by about 40k/ year. Currently Im at ~70k and she at ~110k. She has said she wants to keep things civil and amicable and avoid lawyers if possible to save money. We are currently cohabitating in our marital home in seperate rooms until 3 of our lower debts are paid off. She has already agreed to joint custody of the children and is aware she may have to pay some child support. I've seen something on this site regarding income equalization which I assume is like alimony. Is this something I should pursue as although my income is decent, I'll be quite strapped being responsible for my own housing , utilities, share of the remaining debts, etc, and am afraid I wont be able to provide my children with the same standard of living that my wife will. I'm not looking for a handout but it seems unfair that after waiting for her to finish her degree until it was my turn to do the same, she now wants out. Also, we are in Colorado and havent decided who if either wil keep the marital home. Any comments or advice is very welcome as I've never been through anything more difficult in my life and the wound is still fresh.

  • 03-01-2012 1:05 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
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    Re: Am I entitled to any spousal support as husband?

    In theory spousal support should be sex neutral --but theory is far from perfect --but there is a point for long term alimony when one greatly out earns the other especially with a long term marriage. 

    Question--what degree do you seek-how long--and does it likely have a big impact on your future earnings capacity....?

    There might be a point as to equitable short term support to get that step finished--I simply don't know.

    You might be smart to get some totally silent totally personal legal input  (good divorce lawyer -pay for it!) as to your options !

    If she has a much bigger pension plan its not an asset to ignore!

    And college costs may be no fun to address---

     



  • 03-01-2012 1:07 PM In reply to

    Re: Am I entitled to any spousal support as husband?

    Torn123:
    Any comments or advice is very welcome as I've never been through anything more difficult in my life and the wound is still fresh.

    Others might disagree with me here, but the first thing I'd do if I were you would be to talk to a divorce lawyer.  

    Do you still have joint accounts of any kind?  credit cards?

    I am sure you both have the intention of an amicable divorce, but he wouldn't hurt to be a bit careful here.  That's just my opinion.  No need to cause any trouble, but don't allow any trouble if you can help it either.

    Good luck!

     

  • 03-01-2012 2:48 PM In reply to

    Re: Am I entitled to any spousal support as husband?

    Being a man doesn't mean the law says you cannot seek or get spousal support.  (That said, you may land a sexist judge with contrary thoughts, but that doesn't mean you cannot appeal a decision against you.)

    You need to consult a lawyer; that doesn't mean you intend to battle it out.

    I would presume CO law requires you to live separate and apart for a given period of time to qualify for divorce, so if she wants a divorce, she may need to move out.  (Obviously, you don't have to agree to do so.)

    "Is this something I should pursue as although my income is decent..."

    This isn't a question you should ask strangers; no reason to think if she makes 50-60% more than you oughtn't pursue some money.  You're also free in lieu of that to ask that she take on a greater share of marital debt.

    See a lawyer.

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