Can he get any type of custody or visitation?

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Latest post 05-17-2012 4:11 PM by CJ. 6 replies.
  • 05-17-2012 11:11 AM

    • Melonie09
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    Can he get any type of custody or visitation?

    My son's father hasn't been in his life for about 2 years. Now I am getting served with court papers. What are his chances of getting custody/visitation?

    We were never married. He is on the birth certificate. He has paid 2 months of child support(he's been ordered to for over a year). He has no contact with my child at all. I have mutiple text messages from him saying he will kill himself if I do not do such and such. And also that he wants to sign his rights away (even though later he said he didnt mean it)

    I am 21 taking care of my son all by myself. He has his own room (which he would not have if he stayed with his father beause his father lives with his mother). He is about to start one of the best preschools in the city. I am very involved in his education. I pay for everything. I am a college student who works also. We are very close. All he knows s me and my family.

    I do not want him to have visitation at all

    I am going to contact an attorney, but I just want to know what might happen

  • 05-17-2012 11:24 AM In reply to

    • Kivi
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    Re: Can he get any type of custody or visitation?

    You need to remember that you chose this man to be the father of your child. It's too late to "unring that bell". Bio-Dad has constitutional rights to have a relationship with his child unless he is proven to be "unfit". Being unfit is not the same as you thinking he is lousy father material. He does not have to exercise those rights, but he does have rights.

    The likelihood of him getting custody is remote. The likelihood of him getting visitations, however, is good.

    Child support and visitation are separate issues. If he is not paying child support, you seek enforcement either thru the Child Support Enforcement agency or thru the courts.

    If he has not seen his child in a couple of years, you certainly can ask that his initial visitations be supervised. But, supervised visitations generally do not last very long. However, some men and women when confronted with the notion of supervised visitations, will not bother to show up. If he does not, then it is unlikely that the visitations will progress to unsupervised.

    Discuss it with the attorney you consult, but be prepared to hear that you cannot totally exclude bio-Dad from the life of your child if he insists upon exercising his constitutional rights.

  • 05-17-2012 11:25 AM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: Can he get any type of custody or visitation?

    Odds are he gets some level of visitation--society wants both parents to have some level of involvement --I think your are on wrong quest --focus on limited visitation with schedule convenient to you-consistent with his past visitation practices...-far more logical.

    If he is way behind on court ordered  child support why are you not focued on getting him forced to pay up  with opportunity to lose his divers license, pay your legal costs, and even visit local jail if judge is having a bad day.

    My guess is he wants visitations as a "ectortion"  to get you to back off on CS --don't go down his roadways!



  • 05-17-2012 11:30 AM In reply to

    • Melonie09
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    Re: Can he get any type of custody or visitation?

    I would much rather not have any child support at all then for him to be involved. My child doesn't know him. He can't teach him anything that I couldn't fo ten times better. I am definitely not trying to shut him out. If he is genuinly wanting to be a good father and has changed, then by all means. But he hasn't before so what has magically changed him.

    How do you decide how much or little visitation he gets? I would like supervised visits one weekend per month if any at all

  • 05-17-2012 12:12 PM In reply to

    Re: Can he get any type of custody or visitation?

    Melonie09:
    I would much rather not have any child support at all then for him to be involved

     

    It's not a trade-off; as said, courts want both parents involved.  If he wants visitation, he will get it.  You can only hope the court agrees to supervised visits.  Children have a right to know both parents, warts and all.

     

  • 05-17-2012 12:30 PM In reply to

    • DPH
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    Re: Can he get any type of custody or visitation?

    Melonie09:
    How do you decide how much or little visitation he gets? I would like supervised visits one weekend per month if any at all

    You discuss it with your attorney before going to court.  If bio-Dad agrees, so be it.  If not, they will propose an alternative.  At some point if you and bio-Dad can't agree the judge will set visitation.  You may not get the exact visitation that you want him to have, but at least you will have had input.  Make sure that you receive child support and if bio-Dad doesn't pay it, that you take him ack to court to get the order enforced.

     

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."  -  Mark Twain

     

  • 05-17-2012 4:11 PM In reply to

    • CJ
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    Re: Can he get any type of custody or visitation?

    What you want doesn't matter here.  This child is as much his as he is yours and dad has every right to be in his childs life EVEN if he's an irresponsible mess. You stated that dad couldn't do anything for your son that you couldn't do 10x's better.  No matter how good of a mommy you are and no matter how close you and your son are, there is no replacing him having his father in his life (mess and all). 

    It sounds like you are worried he will get custody.  I doubt that will be the case.  However he will get visitation because the courts believe he has the right. You wont be able to dictate when and where or for how long that visitation will be.  Sure you can suggest, voice your concerns and cross your fingers, but it's ultimatly up to the court.  When he's awarded visitation, you need to follow the order to the T. Otherwise he can drag you back into court and request custody.  Also, if he is behind on his support, you can't use that as leverage to not allow access to his child.  Visitation and Child Support are two seperate issues.

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