Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

Latest post 09-01-2012 4:39 AM by Taxagent. 9 replies.
  • 07-02-2012 4:29 PM

    • chrisoy
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 07-02-2012
    • NY
    • Posts 3

    Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    Legally separated since June 2000.  Finally working on divorce.  Have joint custody but their mother has physical custody "during the children's minority (whatever that means).  Anyway, my daughter will be 17 on November 5th.   She has expressed an interest in coming to live with me (father). 

    Do i need to contact a lawyer to handle this or can my daughter just decide?  If she does come live with me, would child support to her mother end and would i be entitled to collect from her mother?

     

  • 07-02-2012 4:35 PM In reply to

    • Kivi
      Consumer
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on 01-01-2005
    • CA
    • Posts 5,911

    Re: Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    While child support in NYS generally goes until age 21, I am pretty sure that the age of emancipation for most other purposes is age 18.

    Technically, 18, not 17,  is the age at which she gets to decide.

    Now at age 16 and being close to 17, a judge likely will solicit her opinion should you choose to file for a change in custody.

    One thing that you may want to think about is whether the custodial parent will fight you on this one. If he or she does, the matter could well drag out until she is close to age 18 anyway. You might want to weigh the possible costs of a custody battle versus what you stand to gain by just letting the status quo persist for the next 12 to 15 months.

  • 07-02-2012 4:38 PM In reply to

    Re: Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    So far as I know, and this I could be wrong depending on where you live,

    but generally

    children get to decide these things when they are 18 years old.

    You have been separated 12 years, and not as yet divorced?  I think it might be time, to um, well, you know, flush the toilet on this issue or pull up your pants and continued to be married.

    If I were you, I'd talk to my lawyer, as this isn't really something strangers on the internet can do much more than point you in a hopeful direction.

    Again, if I were you, I'd take this one step at a time.  I have absolutely no idea what your ex's circumstances are.  Should your daughter come to live with you, then your ex may have to pay child support.  At worst, I don't see you would be paying your ex child support if you have the child.

    But I think we are getting ahead of ourselves on this.

    Others here likely have better thoughts than I do about this.

    Good luck!

     

     

  • 07-02-2012 5:12 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
    • Posts 48,228

    Re: Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    Child support runs thru 21 in NY---be careful if you are messing with Mom's meal ticket!



  • 07-02-2012 6:05 PM In reply to

    • chrisoy
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 07-02-2012
    • NY
    • Posts 3

    Re: Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    Was separated for 1 year with legal separation agreement.  Went to court for divorce and wife started tacking on things.  Couldn't believe it.  What was the point of the separation agreement???  Told the judge i didn't have time, patience, or money for this and that i wanted to stop the proceedings and would stay separated forever.  Was worth the lost ten thousand in lawyers fees to watch her start bawling at the other table.  Sorry but after gettting kicked outta of your house and having to move back in with your parents and sell everything you own on Ebay and becoming a visitor in your kids life, i'd do the same thing.  Sometimes you just cannot bend over and take it.

    HIred a lawyer few years ago cause wife said she'd not add anything and just wanted a divorce.  In the 8 months he worked for me, he did  nothing but serve her papers.  Fired him when i called his office on a monday and got his voice mail saying he was on vacation for a week.

    Have hired another lawyer in November 2011.  At least this one sends me updates on a monthly basis. Keeping my fingers crossed as i cannot afford another lawyer if this one drops the ball.

    I was hoping my daughter could hold out until she graduated high school in 2013 and then she'd be free of her mother but she is miserable living there.  Calls me in tears all the time. 

    And...isn't it odd that in NY you have to pay child support till your kids are 21?  Isn't 18 when they are considered adults?  Was happy my son decided to go into the Navy.

     

     

  • 07-02-2012 6:06 PM In reply to

    • chrisoy
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 07-02-2012
    • NY
    • Posts 3

    Re: Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    True, true.  When i sold all my comics, records, books, CD's, etc on Ebay, their mother wanted it to be considered income to up her child support. 

  • 07-02-2012 6:41 PM In reply to

    Re: Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    chrisoy:
    Do i need to contact a lawyer to handle this or can my daughter just decide?

    Your daughter gets to decide where she lives when she turns 18 — not a moment before that. The court will likely take her views into account when deciding on custody and visitation if your and the mother cannot agree, but her views are not binding on the court.

    chrisoy:
    If she does come live with me, would child support to her mother end and would i be entitled to collect from her mother?

    It might work out that way. A lot depends on the income that each of you have as well as other factors. You'd need to ask an experienced family law attorney in your local area how the judges are likely to come out on that.

  • 09-01-2012 3:00 AM In reply to

    • DOCAR
      Lawyer
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on 12-09-2000
    • NV
    • Posts 5,167

    Re: Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    Sorry, but no the child gets to decide where to live when she is 18.   At 16 the judge can, but is not required, to listen to the child's input, but is not bound by the choice.

  • 09-01-2012 4:39 AM In reply to

    Re: Can my 16 year old daughter decide who to live with?

    reginahoward:

    Yes, A sixteen year old kid can choose where he wants to live with as long as he is in good intelectual capacity and healthy. If he is a special child, then, definitely the costudy willl be on his mother.

    No. As I said before, a 16 year-old kid may express his/her preference, but the kid doesn't call the shots. The kid's parents determine where the kid will live. And if they are divorced and cannot agree, then a judge decides that. The judge can take the kid's views into account, but the judge will make a decision on what is in the child's best interest based on on all the evidence.

Page 1 of 1 (10 items) | RSS

My Community

Community Membership New Users: Search Community