Is there anything I can do as the mother to my daughter if my ex says its ok for them to sleep in the same bed while he is visiting her from out of state?
I'm sure you can do lots of things. If you're asking whether it's illegal for a parent (mother or father) to sleep in the same bed as his/her child, the answer is no (irrespective of gender or age).
He didnt but it was just the idea that he even said he would...and he refused to bring my daughter home when she told him she wanted to go home?
This isn't a question despite your use of a question mark, so I'm not sure if you were intending to ask anything further or, if so, what you were intending to ask.