roomate issues

my partner and I let a friend move in.  He is 30 years-old, has a real bad drinking problem, and has a real bad hygiene problem; both of which I was not aware of when we agreed to let him into our home, and also he is a law school graduate that still works at his colleges bookstore.  Ive been trying for about a year to get him to get his act together, we both have, and he has not improved....we even invited his family in for part of the battle, and that didnt help, I just recently on three seperate occassions found cockroaches in the bathroom, and told both my partner and our roommate about it, our roomie still refused to clean his room, I sent an email to his mom to update her on the situation, our roommate is now threatening to bring charges of harrassment on me cause of my insisting of him to clean his room and him up.....this whole situation has brought alot of friction into my relationship with my partner, I have been avoiding my family so they wont come over cause the smell and his appearance is so bad, we are too ashamed to let friends come over either, we are just trying to ride out the storm till the lease is over so we can get him out of our lives...what Im wondering is..isnt there like some professional legal intervention type of thing that could be done to open this guys eyes up?? He's 30...he's acting like a child, and whats even more pathetic is he looks mid to late forties, thats how much alcohol has aged him

He'll never change and it's not up to you to change him or "open his eyes."

He's may legally be considered a tenant now on a month-to-month agreement.

Give him proper written notice of termination under the MO landlord tenant statute.

http://law.justia.com/codes/missouri/2009/t29/c441/c441.html

Then file for eviction if you have to.

Or, you can treat him as a guest and put him and his stuff out and change the locks. There's a risk there since he's a law school graduate, so you might be better off just following the L/T laws. He won't be able to give you an argument about that.

If he starts being abusive or destructive, document it, and you may be able to get him out quicker with a restraining order.

All you are doing right now is enabling him to continue his addiction and behavior. It'll be painful but you really need to cut the cord, throw him out, and let him sink or swim. Once he hits bottom he may seek professional help.

Its time to give him the boot.

While its true that in many states you can just boot an invited guest the laws of MO are a bit quirky and he is probably some sort of tenant. (I presume he pays some sort of rent = probably a month to month tenant.)

The "Scott Law Firm" has a pretty decent discussion of some of the MO issues and some sample forms on line --suggest you at least look there    --you will probably need to pay attention to rules and give proper notice  etc.

(Thier forms # 19, # 23 etc )

The sooner you start the sooner you may get resutlts

Here's the link:

http://scottlawfirm.com/

A little too much extrameous detail there.

Couldn't be much of a friend if you didn't know he had a fondness for drink and a dislike of bathing/picking up after himself, but never mind.

"... our roomie still refused to clean his room, I sent an email to his mom to update her on the situation..."

Dude(tte), this is just ... silly.  You write to his mom about it?  :)   I'd be annoyed too.

So long as he doesn't lie to the police, I don't see law enforcement doing anything but laughing if he tries to seek charges of harassment.

"isnt there like some professional legal intervention type of thing that could be done to open this guys eyes up??"

I find it very difficult to believe that you haven't heard of the concept of eviction.

Virtually everything that I have read about people with substance abuse issues is that they seldom seek help until they hit rock bottom and even then....

You cannot force him into a substance abuse treatment program. He is an adult. He gets to make bad choices.

Evict the guy. Maybe some time sleeping on the streets will force him to seek help, but, if it does not (and the streets of most urban cities in America have a fair number of homeless addicts on them), it is not your problem.

If the eviction process seems too time consuming --sometimes --if the person is in real need of a drink or whatever  then a modest stack of $20s in return for keys and a his signature  on a very short note that says I surrender my unit at XYZ and make no further claim for occupancy  as of this date or words to that effect -- written confirmation of he is o-u-t --and then escort him to door and never let him set foot inside again--you can deliver any of his personal stuff to the door later at a mutual time for pick up but I'm serious --he doesn't get back in  not even for a bathroom break.

Cash for Keys is known to work  --but you gotta use some smarts about when to dangle a wad of cash under his nose ---and be sure he is at least sober enough to apparently know what he is doing  --a scribble while he is passed out might not cut it!