My husband and were living apart for 4 years, but never filed any legal papers. We were married for almost 18 years
He named his mother to get his life insurance
Am I now responsible for all the bills?
His estate is responsible for all his bills.
Not just his medical ones ,what about the ones from when we were together?
If you incurred them jointly (your name attached to them) they are likely yours now.
He has tax debt also.
Depends on how far back they go. If he was filing on his own for the last four years, probably not. If there was any tax debt from when you were together and filing jointly, that could be your debt.
She has his car, cleaned out his apartment, and went to his work and cleared out that stuff also. I am not sure if getting an attorney would be worth it.
If the car was titled to him you could have a claim on it in intestacy. You'll have to decide if it's worth enough to hassle with it because you'll probably have to open probate in court to get it.
As for stuff in his apartment, probably best to just let that go unless you know of something really valuable.
For small estates you can generally do a simplified probate that doesn't require a lawyer.
Might consider just letting sleeping dogs lie for the moment if there's not much money involved and let the mother handle the estate.
However, if somebody comes to you some time and wants your signature on something, that's when you'll have the leverage to get something out of it.