We came to an agreement between the parties and the judge signed off on it. The reason we did it that way is that we have joint custody with our daughter of HER daughter because she was involved with CPS when her daughter was born. Long story short, she asked to go back on her bi-polar meds as soon as the baby was born because she was worried about developing postpartum depression. The doctors overreacted/misunderstood what she said and called CPS. We had to take joint custody to get them out of our lives. My grandson's father and his mother knew of this arrangement and the two of them filed for custody of my grandson. We did not think our daughter could win alone against them, so we agreed to joint custody with her of our grandson.
We know that he is the father because they were living together and engaged when she got pregnant. He is not a stable person himself, however, and they split up when she was four or five months pregnant. She is now about seven months pregnant.
She was at one time receiving TANF for her daughter as well as Medicaid, and as a result of that, the state went after her daughter's father for child support. He has not seen his daughter since she was about 11 months old, does not work, and has already been jailed once for not paying child support and appears to be headed that way again.
When her son was born, my daughter decided not to seek TANF for him because she didn't want to go through the same thing with child support with HIS father that she had for her daughter's father. Unlike her daughter's father, her son's father seems to genuinely care and WANT to be a part of his son's life and has regular visitation with him, although it was supervised for six months due to drug use. She no longer receives TANF for either child because her income is above the threshold for receiving TANF.