Dishonest Adoption Help ?

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Latest post 01-17-2013 12:20 PM by Drew. 5 replies.
  • 01-03-2013 10:27 PM

    • Bunky67
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 01-04-2013
    • MI
    • Posts 3

    Dishonest Adoption Help ?

    My wife and I were in the middle of adopting two foster Children, and in the middle of the adoption, my wife finds an old friend on Face book and moves him in, She then starts seeing this person after a couple of weeks she decides to kick me out,  so I explained to her that If we were not going to be togher, I wanted the adoption stopped, well she accused me of being Selfish and not thinking of the Children etc. but I did not change my mind, and a couple of days later I contacted my pastor and he agreed that the adoption should be stopped, and she got  upset and  was cussing at me etc,   so then I tried to stop the adoption and the courts said it was too late, it was approximately 2 days past, and they didn't care about he situation and in my opinion the best interest of the children no longer mattered, they were out of the states hands broken home didn't matter,  so anyways I have not seen the children in two years and the wife is finally filling for divorce and becasue she is on social security, and draws food stamps and medicaid for the children the state is nailing me for support, this is not right and the mother is receiving almost $2000 in adoption subsidy for these two children,  

    Any ways this adoption should not of been finalized, and the wife mislead me as well as the adoption worker on several accounts, and I have no interest in these two children

    The wife is planning on adopting two more children as soon as the divorce is final as a single parent,  

    Is there anyway of ending this adoption or getting my name removed ?

    If she can adopt as a single parent then why can't she be the sole parent on these two ?

  • 01-04-2013 3:52 PM In reply to

    • CJ
      Consumer
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on 08-02-1999
    • CA
    • Posts 1,656

    Re: Dishonest Adoption Help ?

    The fact that the adoption was finalized two years ago pretty much means you're on the hook unless she re-marries and her new hubby chooses to adopt them. Of course the state is "nailing" you for support.  Legally these are YOUR kids and you should be supporting them not the tax payers.

    I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out but that is not the fault of these kids.  You were a part of the adoption process and took that responsibility by signing the paperwork and swearing infront of the courts. It wasn't an option to change your mind if your wife kicked you out.  You could have fought for custody but it sounds like you never loved them to begin with which is clearly why many of our foster youth feel unloved and valued for the income they bring in not the love and stability a loving adult wants to offer.

     

     

  • 01-12-2013 9:57 AM In reply to

    • Bunky67
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 01-04-2013
    • MI
    • Posts 3

    Re: Dishonest Adoption Help ?

    CJ  

    The fact is that your right about people only raising Foster and Adotping Children is correct, and until we seperated I didn't see that this was her motive, It took looking in from the outside,  and the proplem is that the states allow people to do this, because there helping them out so they don't care,  

     

    The adoption was final 2 years ago, and I probably won't get out of it until the wife remarries,    Except that I tried to stop the adoption, while in process and right when it was finalized, the problem was the state never told us when it was going to be fianlaized so, and one day it was final,  In Michigan not all counties make it manditory for the parents to be present in court on the day of finalization,  I'm trying to get this manditory in all counties not just a few,  and I'm not the first one this has happened to,  and My wife should of stopped or put the adoption on hold when she started the affair but instead of chancing loosing the income she didn't in my opinion this was illegal,   

     

    Thanks for your response

  • 01-16-2013 2:35 PM In reply to

    Re: Dishonest Adoption Help ?

    It sort of sounds like you weren't really interested in being a father to these children if you only wanted to adopt if you remained with your spouse.  I hope that's not the case.

    In any event, you are now the legal father.  If your ex remarries, you will still be the legal father.  If her new spouse wants to adopt the children, that's another story, but just her remarriage won't change a thing.

  • 01-17-2013 12:20 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
    • Posts 49,323

    Re: Dishonest Adoption Help ?

    Some states give out some rather hefty adoption subsidies to adopt harder to place children --I have friends who get a hefty subsidy -one mistake as I read it was to not go after you becoming the custodial parent --you failed to follow the money flow.

    I have no doubt that some folks are able to twist the foster care or adoption system into a tidy income stream --no simple cure in sight.



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