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2 children 1 does NOT want to go to DADS

Latest post Fri, May 24 2013 5:43 PM by superman1. 6 replies.
  • Wed, May 22 2013 2:57 PM

    • Mommy86
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on Wed, May 22 2013
    • CA
    • Posts 1

    2 children 1 does NOT want to go to DADS

    I have two kids with my ex-husband. We have been divorced for 5yrs now. The schedule has changed in the last 5yrs just between us since we agreed on it. Now my 5yr old son has expressed significantly that he does NOT like going to his Dads. He said its boring, hes always introuble and they never go or do anything but stay in doors and his sister always gets special treatments. My 7 year old daughter doesnt mind it. She could careless if she goes. My son made this choice when his father told me infront of my son that he didnt want him that day cause he had a cold laud and rude. He told me to take him else where cause hes gonna get the rest of his kids sick. So now my son says his Dad doesnt want him only his sister. Hes been under my care for a month now since that day cause my son is hurt. When i ran these things with my ex-mother in law she said their kids and they shouldnt be making choices. I dont know what to do. I want my son to just be happy. Happy means him not going back. Now that i asked to keep him 100% he wants visitaion again. i asked for no money or daycare cost. How do i fight this? Please help.

  • Wed, May 22 2013 3:15 PM In reply to

    • DPH
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Oct 8 2001
    • TX
    • Posts 7,875

    Re: 2 children 1 does NOT want to go to DADS

    I want my son to just be happy. Happy means him not going back.

    Maybe, but kids don't get to make those decisions.  If you have court ordered visitation, then that's what you follow until it is changed by the court.  Dad does not have to use his visitation, but you do have to make the child available.  My feelings, if he takes one he takes both.  Cold or not.

    How do i fight this?


    Discuss it with your lawyer.

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."  -  Mark Twain


  • Wed, May 22 2013 3:27 PM In reply to

    Re: 2 children 1 does NOT want to go to DADS

    Dad has the right to see his kids and the child is WAY too young to make this decision and you will likely face trouble for violating a court order. So if the child doesnt want to go t oschool, or take medicine, do you allow him not too?  It's time to have a talk to Dad on possibly making the visits fun for the kids, but no visits at all should not be an option whatsoever.

  • Wed, May 22 2013 5:05 PM In reply to

    Re: 2 children 1 does NOT want to go to DADS

    He said its boring . . . and they never go or do anything

    Boo hoo.  The world does not exist to entertain children.


    hes always introuble

    Then he should learn to behave himself.



    How do i fight this?

    Fight what?  Your ex-husband is entitled to visitation as provided in your divorce decree or visitation/custody order.  It's up to him whether or not to exercise that right.  Not taking a sick kid is not entirely unreasonable.  To me, your post suggests the problem lies more with your son than with your ex.

  • Thu, May 23 2013 1:03 PM In reply to

    • CJ
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Aug 2 1999
    • CA
    • Posts 1,721

    Re: 2 children 1 does NOT want to go to DADS

    I agree with your ex mother-in-law, children should not and are not allowed to dictate their preference in visitation with the other parent.  He's 5!

    Honestly, it sounds to me like you are not helping the situation either.  Are you openly expressing how you feel about dad and his decisions?  Are you babying your 5 year old when he gets upset with dad's parenting choices?  Again .. he's 5 and will feed off of you.  I have a feeling he's a tad spoiled.

    You need to remind yourself that there are TWO parents with equal rights to this child.  You don't get to choose when and if dad gets to see his son and if you a openly verbal about it infront of your children, dad can sue for that. There is nothing that states dad is required to take his kids outside of the house, there is nothing that states dad is required to excercize his visitation (which means he can say he's not taking a sick kiddo, it's his right). 

    We all want our children to be happy.  But to baby them and sheild them from life is not healthy either. What he needs is a stern talking to about his behavior when he's with dad and that he needs to behave himself and you will not allow him to act out about going.

  • Fri, May 24 2013 5:43 PM In reply to

    Re: 2 children 1 does NOT want to go to DADS

    If it's in your divorce decree that your ex-husband has visitation, then he has visitation.

    So far as I know, 5 year olds don't make up the rules.

    I'm assuming your 5 year old isn't running the show entirely at your house?  If so, you've got some issues you need to resolve in my opinion.  

    If you allow it, your 5 year old probably would prefer not to go to school, eat icecream for dinner, stay up late, etc etc.  You really should NOT be allowing your 5 year old to make whatever decisions he/she wants in order to "be happy".  That's just crazy!

    By the way, you ex has the right to visitation, not the obligation.  Child support is a completely separate thing from visitation by the way.  In fact, the child support is the childs right, not your right to decide you don't want to take it.  Were that the case, should you lose your job, next thing you know, the taxpayer (me and the other posters here) are supporting your child.

    Instead of "fighting this", I suggest you tell the 5 year old what he is going to do, not request what he wants, and bend your life around his every desire.


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