Custody and new wife

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Latest post Wed, Aug 17 2016 4:04 AM by David Billy. 39 replies.
  • Sun, Jun 1 2014 10:49 PM

    • JohnF1984
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    Custody and new wife

    I have a child from a previous relationship and  He lived with his mother for the first 14 years of his life. I live in a township with a better school district and decided to move my son in so he can go to a better school. I did not discuss this with my wife of 3 years so our relationship has been rocky for the last 9 months especially since i moved my son in the same week she had our first child as a married couple. I now want to file for full custody and i know my wife will not agree with my decision due to how i handled the orginial situation. My question is does she need to file any paperwork for me to get full custody of my son? will the court require her signature or need anything from her?

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 12:25 AM In reply to

    Re: Custody and new wife

    JohnF1984:
    My question is does she need to file any paperwork for me to get full custody of my son? will the court require her signature or need anything from her?

    Probably not. But a lawyer can tell you for sure.

    By the way, if you don't want a second divorce I suggest you and your wife get on the same page here even if you have to make some compromises.

    You're already on thin ice.

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  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 6:47 AM In reply to

    Re: Custody and new wife

    No- the only signatures if you are doing this by agreement/stipulation are yours and the biological mother. 

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 7:44 AM In reply to

    • JohnF1984
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    She is already not happy with how i have handled things and at this point, i don't think things will get better. I feel like she does not want my son around. I know a lot of it is my fault as far as me moving my son in at a crucial time and during the time were i should have probably given her 100 % but whats done has been done. She does not cook, or do anything of the things she used to do anymore and i am wiling to lose her to have my son around

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 7:46 AM In reply to

    • JohnF1984
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    Thank you. Another issue is that my 15 year son would rather live with is mother and i am sure the tension i have caused will not help the situation. Will this affect me getting full custody? I just want him to go a better school. My wife will probably file for a divorce as she feels like i am making deicions with his mother and not really getting her input on things

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 10:46 AM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    Full custody is not a common outcome--courts want both parents in equation.

    One does not need full custody to determine where to go to school in PA.



  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 12:57 PM In reply to

    • Kivi
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    No, your current is not a party to this one. You and the child's biologicval mother are the only people with any legal standing, so to speak.

    Legally, minors do not get to choose which parent to live with. At age 15 a judge likely would at least listen to his views, but the minor's opinion is not binding upon the judge.

    If the other parent is in agreement with the decision that he live with you, then your son might have a hard time making his views known to the court, unless your current wife somehow arranged for it. He is not that likely to know how to present his case to the judge. (Few fifteen year olds would know how to navigate the court system withou some support from an adult.) However, teenagers can be "creative", especially if they do not want to do something. All it might take is a call Child Protective Serviices (or equivalent state agency in your state).

    You won't necessarily get "full custody". His biological mother likely would get visitation/partial custody and could be ordered to pay you child support.  This latter issue might give her pause about the decision to let him live with you.

    Where I think you are treading on dangerous waters is your relationship with your current spouse and new baby. Your fifteen year old probably is a typical rebellious teenager. At that at age, most kids are "challenging" for their parents. But, to suddenly thrust your current spouse into the role of nearly a full time stepmother without consulting her definitely was not a smart move. I would definitely have been extremely angry with you if I had been her. I like to think that most spouses would consult each other about such an important decision before making it, unless it was a true emergency.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 2:21 PM In reply to

    Re: Custody and new wife

    JohnF1984:
    I now want to file for full custody and i know my wife will not agree with my decision due to how i handled the orginial situation. My question is does she need to file any paperwork for me to get full custody of my son? will the court require her signature or need anything from her?

    Ask your lawyer, but very likely the answer is no. But if you do this without consulting and coming to an agreement with your current wife, you likely going to put yourself on the fast track to divorce. This is a major chance to your household, and doing it without consulting her shows her you don't care anything about her views and what she might want, and that's a recipie for a relationship disaster. Do that, and you may be back here asking questions about your next divorce.

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 2:53 PM In reply to

    • DPH
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    JohnF1984:
    I live in a township with a better school district and decided to move my son in so he can go to a better school

    Does this mean that you, on your own, decided that your son should come to live with you?  What did bio-Mom think about this decision?  Did Mom have court ordered custody of son?  Were you paying chid support (CS)?  Are you continuing to pay her CS even though son is living with you?  Did you petition the court at any time to change the living arrangements?

    JohnF1984:
    I now want to file for full custody
     

    Why?  What changed that now makes you want custody?

    From a statement in one of your responses it sounds as if your current wife and child are expendable.  Think, and then think again, about the consequences of making unilateral decisions.  If your current wife and you were to divorce and she was granted custody of your 9 month old child, you can probably expect to be on the hook for CS for your new child for many years to come.

     

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."  -  Mark Twain

     

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 4:27 PM In reply to

    • JohnF1984
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    We have joint  custody right now and the orginil custody has me getting my son every other weekend. I also pay child support. He is currently staying with my wife and i for 2 weeks and then goes back to his mother for 2 weeks. 

     

    I didn't think it would be a problem but looks like i have creative a mess but i want my son with me full time. I told my wife when she was 6 months pregnant and told her if she had a problem she could leave (not smart). We tried working things out and she asked  me if we could wait until our son was 1 just so we could work on our relationship and give her a chance on working on being  a new mom but i didnt agree. She now does nothing for my son or will not even interact with him or even attempt with him. Now my sons mother is pregnant and my wife is really mad because i want him here full time and she is threaten to call the school to report me for having him live in both houses   during this school year. At this point, i am willing to lose out on my marriage to give my son a better education

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 4:31 PM In reply to

    • JohnF1984
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    Well she has already made it clear that she is not going to agree to him moving in. Now that my ex is pregnant, she is even more upset because she feels like i stole her moment as a first time mother away from her and  feels like his mom is trying to  her son off on her now...... I don't know what to do

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 4:35 PM In reply to

    • JohnF1984
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    The township we live in requires that the child live with one parents over 50 percent of the time. During this school year, my son lives me for 2 weeks and then goes back to his mothers for 2 weeks. I just informed my wife that he will be staying with us for the rest of the school year ( 3 weeks). She threaten to let the school know that i violated the school resdiency as my son was going back and forth which is why i want full custody. I have told her that she can leave if she pleases as my son is staying

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 5:06 PM In reply to

    • DPH
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    You wrote previously...."We have joint  custody right now and the orginil custody has me getting my son every other weekend."

    JohnF1984:
    I just informed my wife that he will be staying with us for the rest of the school year ( 3 weeks).

    Guess what.  That really isn't your decision to make.  If bio-Mom wants, all she needs to do is let the court know and you might find yourself in contempt.  If you don't like the court ordered arrangement, you need to figure ot how to have the order modified to your liking.

    JohnF1984:
    I have told her that she can leave if she pleases as my son is staying

    Hope she does. 

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."  -  Mark Twain

     

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 7:47 PM In reply to

    • Kivi
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    If you and bioMom agree to this change, you do not need to involve your current spouse in the legal proceeding. As JoBraver, who is a PA family law attorney, stated you can do this by stipulation. You and bioMom just sign and file certain documents with the court. If there is a family law facilitator in your court house, you may be able to obtain some limited legal guidance on what documents you need, whether they need to be notarized, etc. They probably have to be filled with the court that currently has jurisdiction, which may or may not be the court in your township.

    Again, to do a stipulation you AND bioMom do have to agree to the custody change, but your current spouse is not in the picture in a legal sense, on this issue.

    You do appear to have poked a hornets' nest when it comes to your current spouse.   I can only hope that you think it was worth it.

     

     

     

  • Mon, Jun 2 2014 8:58 PM In reply to

    • JohnF1984
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    Re: Custody and new wife

    My sons mother and i decide that it was best for him to attend school in my district.  Biological mother was fine with the decision. She is also pregnant so i think she didn't mind it so she could have some freedom. His mother had primary custody but we never went back to court, this decision was one we made together for his best intrest. Yes, i was and am still paying child support. The child support i am paying is not much as it is based of what i was making 14 years ago but i do take care of my son. No i have not petitioned the court yet.

     

    My current wife refuses to understand where i am coming from as a father. I hope she does not leave but if that will make her happier then i wont hold her back. 

     

     

     

     

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