Mom wants to come home from nursing home, sister/hubby

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Latest post Thu, Jun 26 2014 8:22 AM by Drew. 3 replies.
  • Wed, Jun 18 2014 5:37 PM

    • M. J.
      Consumer
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    • Joined on Wed, Jun 18 2014
    • CA
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    Mom wants to come home from nursing home, sister/hubby

    Hello,

    My mom is in a nursing home because she fell in February, then in the beginning of March was sent to a nursing home.  I have the POA for medical only.  Tomorrow, I am going to see Social Services at the nursing home to see about mom being able to go home.  My problem is that I don't know what my rights are or what mom's rights are regarding a situation.

    My middle sister and her husband moved in on April 10, 2014 into my mom and stepfather's home. Their home is in foreclosure, I just found out!  The entire family was told except for me and my mother about the moving in but not the foreclosure.  My mom does have dementia but can still comprehend things, just gets confused about the past.  I was told through text about my sister moving in from her and that it had been okayed by the entire family.  We use texting because I can't take the yelling and screaming, its too much for me.

    This sister also had my mom and stepdad's grant deed changed from them to her in 1997 and when I found out in 2006, I had a mobile notary have her sign it back over to the folks.  She of course didnt get punished for this, we don't want to piss her off was the reason.  

    I'm concerned about what I can do and what my mom can do when I tell my Stepfather and my sister and her husband that mom is coming home.  She threatened me to not just bring her home, yet when I do approach them about that it's time for mom to come home I get alot of bs.  My stepfather, I know he can't take care of her by himself, but the reason my sister moved in to their home was to be able to take care of both of them.  If mom doesn't want her there she has asked me to move in.  If that is what my mom wants, I have promised that I would do that - as hard as that would be on me, I want mom to have her last few years happy, healthy and safe.  I'm also concerned that she might get tired of her and ship her off to another nursing home.

    Can mom kick her out and if mom is afraid to kick her out and her husband, am I able to kick them out?  My stepfather likes the situation as it is, because they cater to his every whim.  My folks have been married for 42 years and yes they do on occasion snap at each other, but that's how it's always been with them.

    Should I talk to the District attorney's office maybe to see if there's any undue influence on my stepfather, who has Alzeimers.  I'm not sure what to do with all the various scenarios that could come from this.

    Thank you for your help,

    Marie

  • Wed, Jun 18 2014 9:32 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Thu, Mar 30 2000
    • PA
    • Posts 51,401

    Re: Mom wants to come home from nursing home, sister/hubby

    Live in guests quickly become tenants under CA law and it's darn hard to get rid of tenants absent a long due process ....and you lack formal powers to boot them as you are not owner nor durable POA for them both.

    There is a major risk of sponges moving in beyond getting them out..they may be in position to get durable POA, bleed funds dry, and get wills RE written ....be more than darn wary!!



  • Mon, Jun 23 2014 12:24 PM In reply to

    • M. J.
      Consumer
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    • Joined on Wed, Jun 18 2014
    • CA
    • Posts 2

    Re: Mom wants to come home from nursing home, sister/hubby

    Thank you very much Drew.

  • Thu, Jun 26 2014 8:22 AM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Thu, Mar 30 2000
    • PA
    • Posts 51,401

    Re: Mom wants to come home from nursing home, sister/hubby

    And get a deed rewritten and you'll have a hard time to find it and unwrap it.

    Based on your version of story it's an open invitation for the fox to live in henhouse 

    Either get the fox out pronto or tie up all funds and assets such that fox has zero access to same .

    In a way, parents are entitled to make choices you see as dangerous and not in thier own long term interests..where the line may be as to abuse is often lost in the sands . 

    In one sense it might make more sense if one is determined to care for adult kids to have a written month to month lease in place with a realist rental amount due monthly ..and if tenants do not pay then there is some basis to evict...but  if parents lack the stomach or Moxie  to evict..it won't get done, 



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