Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

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Latest post 07-10-2014 4:12 PM by CuriousInCa. 15 replies.
  • 07-10-2014 5:48 AM

    Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    Briefly, I dated a woman once. The date went poorly and there was no match. During the date I lost my phone. She emailed me the next day saying she found my phone, snooped and found a bunch of explicit pics of me and other women and other embarrassing info of a sexual nature. She asked me what I wanted her to do with the phone. I instructed her to delete the content and destroy the phone or let me come and pick it up. She refused and is now threatening to expose this information to my family, friends and employer and clients unless I have a face to face to discussion with her where she will tell me what I need to do to get this information back. She used the work black mail during a phone call with me. All of these other facts are in emails from her.

    I'm planning to meet her next week. Should I tell her that I won't give in to paying money or doing anything sexual and that I will file an injunction against her? If I file and she releases the info has she committed a felony or is black mail the only felony here?

  • 07-10-2014 6:53 AM In reply to

    • DPH
      Consumer
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    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    Anthony2014:

    I'm planning to meet her next week. Should I tell her that I won't give in to paying money or doing anything sexual and that I will file an injunction against her? If I file and she releases the info has she committed a felony or is black mail the only felony here?

    Before you do anything further, take your tale to local law enforcement and let them give you some advice on what and what not to do.  If the woman is truly threatening to blackmail you, then she could find herself in a world of criminal hurt.  Take copies of the emails with you, plus anything else that is approriate.  Not sure what type of injunction you could file, but I would explore the possibility that she is committing a felony if she truly blackmails you.

    Does she want money or something else from you?

     

     

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."  -  Mark Twain

     

  • 07-10-2014 7:02 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    I agree.  Go to the cops and do it today.  If/when you get your phone back, delete that stuff and don't create any more of it. 

  • 07-10-2014 8:01 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    I don't know what she wants but she said on the phone she is thinking of black mailing me for money.

  • 07-10-2014 8:15 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    Connecticut has a rather extensive extortion statute (there is no crime of blackmail in Connecticut, it is instead part of the crime of extortion). Connecticut Statute section 53a-119(5) states:

    “(5) Extortion. A person obtains property by extortion when he compels or induces another person to deliver such property to himself or a third person by means of instilling in him a fear that, if the property is not so delivered, the actor or another will: (A) Cause physical injury to some person in the future; or (B) cause damage to property; or (C) engage in other conduct constituting a crime; or (D) accuse some person of a crime or cause criminal charges to be instituted against him; or (E) expose a secret or publicize an asserted fact, whether true or false, tending to subject some person to hatred, contempt or ridicule; or (F) cause a strike, boycott or other collective labor group action injurious to some person’s business; except that such a threat shall not be deemed extortion when the property is demanded or received for the benefit of the group in whose interest the actor purports to act; or (G) testify or provide information or withhold testimony or information with respect to another’s legal claim or defense; or (H) use or abuse his position as a public servant by performing some act within or related to his official duties, or by failing or refusing to perform an official duty, in such manner as to affect some person adversely; or (I) inflict any other harm which would not benefit the actor.”

    Note, though, that extortion is a form of theft, so in order to commit this offense, she must compel or induce you to deliver property to her or some third person. So far, it does not sound like she has done that, but that may come up in the meeting she wishes to have with you. It appears that while Connecticut requires the consent of all persons involved to record a telephone conversation, only the consent of one person (you) is needed for in-person conversations. You might want to consider recording that conversation in case she does end up posing an extortion scheme.

  • 07-10-2014 8:32 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    Thanks for your answer. This is actually being done in Illinois. Is it possible to construct a contract where both parties agree to not disclose personal embarrassing information about the other? I actually have information about her as well and if disclosed to her employer would result in termination.

  • 07-10-2014 9:41 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    Stop being a fool and call the police.

     

    • The right of the people 
    • to keep and bear arms,
    • shall not be infringed.
  • 07-10-2014 9:55 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    Anthony2014:
    Is it possible to construct a contract where both parties agree to not disclose personal embarrassing information about the other?

    I suppose if both parties agree to sign such a contract, it could be done.  For it to be worth doing, though, it would have to spell out the penalty for violating it, and it should be easy to prove violations.  I see a problem with your signing such a contract if you're not the only one who has the information she shared with you.

    In your shoes I would not pursue this path.  Creating a contract with someone whose lack of integrity is so obvious just doesn't seem smart, to me, anyway.  And I don't know how much patience a court would have with it if you actually sued her to enforce it.

  • 07-10-2014 10:07 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    You might be able to remotely wipe that phone out yourself.  I know my ipad, iphone I can just remotely wipe them out.  

    If you can, just erase it and I'd suggest you just move on.  Get yourself another phone because whatever legal action you are talking about is going to cost time and money.  That's really just my opinion.  It just sounds like it's the information you are worried about getting into the wrong hands.

    My iphone/ipad gets backed up to the cloud all the time.  I could get a new one right now and I would not lose a single thing.  So if you can, as I said, wipe that thing out, from your laptop, and then see what your new little girl has to say about it.

    I've definitely been with a couple of girls that thought they could pull this stuff on me.  I can locate my phones and I can wipe them out remotely if I must.  I'll bet you can figure that one out too.

    Computers are the easy part.  They are locatable and they have serial numbers, etc.  It's when they start stealing green paper is when it gets more complicated

    That is just my opinion

    Good luck!

     

     

  • 07-10-2014 11:03 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    I pretty much agree with what everyone else has written -- i.e., call the cops.  But I have a couple comments/questions.

     

    Anthony2014:
    She refused and is now threatening to expose this information to my family, friends and employer and clients unless I have a face to face to discussion with her where she will tell me what I need to do to get this information back.

    If this is a woman you dated only once, how is it that she knows your family, friends, employer, and clients?  I'm sensing there may be more to this story than you've told us.  Did you have a pre-existing, non-dating relationship with her?

     

    Anthony2014:
    Should I tell her that I won't give in to paying money or doing anything sexual and that I will file an injunction against her?

    An injunction is a court order.  You're free to sue her and file a motion seeking an injunction, but you cannot file an injunction.  I have to imagine, however, that, by the time you filed suit and served her and filed and served a motion for the injunction, she'll follow through with her threat (thereby mooting the injunction).  While she might not follow through and might give you your phone back, going to the cops is a far easier and less expensive way to achieve the same result.

     

    Anthony2014:
    If I file and she releases the info has she committed a felony or is black mail the only felony here?

    I'm curious why you seem to be focused on the existence or non-existence of a felony.  Why does it matter to you whether the crime is classified as a felony or misdemeanor?

  • 07-10-2014 11:14 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    superman1:
    You might be able to remotely wipe that phone out yourself.  I know my ipad, iphone I can just remotely wipe them out.

    If I'm not mistaken, you have to have previously downloaded an appropriate app (or apps) to do this.  Not certain it can be done for any "i" device or for non "i" devices (but I could be wrong about that).

  • 07-10-2014 11:18 AM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    Another little thought here for the future.

    Why is there not a passcode on that phone of yours.  

    You can see a single thing on my phone unless you know the passcode.  And I change them reguarly.  

    It's too late now, but if you have information you don't want others to see, you lock it down tight!

    Now adays, the cell phone at least in my case, is used as a random passcode for my bank account.

    I cannot even log onto to my bank account without first having it send a message to my phone with a code and then I need to know another password on top of that.

    You need to start locking your stuff down if you are going to be dating like this.

    Good luck!

     

  • 07-10-2014 11:34 AM In reply to

    • cbg
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 12-21-2000
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    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    I actually have information about her as well and if disclosed to her employer would result in termination.

    Great, you mean she could sue you as well?

    Although I wouldn't be too sure that her employer will pay any attention. Most would drop any such letters in the circular file, or hang up the phone.

  • 07-10-2014 12:12 PM In reply to

    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    Look, I think if you cannot erase that phone remotely, you do like Jack said and call the police.

    You know where she lives right?  You know she has your phone.  Heck, if it were me, I could locate it via lat and long.

    If this girl wants to post pictures you have, either if you give her  money or not, it's not very difficult to take your rmoney and your pictures and post them later.

    Once they are posted on the internet, they are out there.  You can take her to court and everything, but there's nothing that anyone can do to take that one back.  Once they are out there, they are out there.

    Again, my suggestion would be next time, lock down the cell phone.  You can set up a passcode so that you cannot use the phone unless they know it.  Too late now, but next time do that.

     

     

  • 07-10-2014 3:14 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: Being Black Mailed by Woman who found my phone

    This seems to be beyond a bad date....and you might be smart to get some legal counsel before you just call the cops who may dust you off and call it a lovers debate.

    ILL has some laws as to retun of lost property ..as well as some broad laws as to extortion ...if she is asking for you to,do Someting or pay something as to not turn phone over to law enforcement ..and to threaten to bring ridicule or worse to somebody is perhaps another crime.?lest you allow yourself to be held hostage by this loose cannon I think you'd be smart to end a few bucks for legal counsel as to tions to shut her down..Id not merely just call police and say some woman is holding my X rated pictures hostage  Id want to have as many of my ducks lined up as possible such that SHE is in the serious hot water she deserves.   you are not the brightest a for stuff left unsecured on your phone..but she seems 10X worse is your post is correct....your unclean hands may hurt if not careful. 



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