Non Custodial parent and Out of Control Teen

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Latest post 12-10-2008 8:35 PM by hawaiana2. 7 replies.
  • 12-09-2008 9:51 AM

    Non Custodial parent and Out of Control Teen

    My boyfriend is the noncustodial parent of a 16 yr old girl. The teenager recently got her driver's permit and her custodial mother is allowing her to drive everywhere without a licensed driver. The girl goes everywhere including school, bars and clubs with other unlicensed teenagers and even allows them to drive her car. She is my boyfriend's only child and he's worried sick about her because the child is very impulsive, bad-tempered, and irresponsible. He wanted full custody of her, but she doesn't want to live with him because she knows she won't be able to do the things she is doing now. He talked to Child Support Services and they say there is nothing they can do. Is there anything at all that can be done or do we just sit and wait for someone to get hurt or maybe die in this situation? I'm not sure this post goes here, but didn't know where else to post it. So please forgive me if it's in the wrong spot. Thanks in advance for any advice.
  • 12-09-2008 12:35 PM In reply to

    Feedback [*=*] re: Non Custodial parent and Out of Control Teen

    Child support services has nothing to do with this. If your boyfriend wants custody he needs to file for it and prove the child is out of control with mom. He needs to get his ducks in a row and file.
  • 12-10-2008 8:48 AM In reply to

    re: Non Custodial parent and Out of Control Teen

    I have to do you know the child is driving with unlicensed drivers? How do you know those others don't have licenses.

    How do you know she is going to bars clubs and better yet, if Dad knows that, and know she is where she is not supposed to be, why is Dad allowing her to stay. You don't get to claim Mom is allowing it when Dad clearly has to. If he has this knowledge of it and did nothing about it, then he is as guilty as Mom.

    A custody change is not an easy task, it is simply not filing and it will be done. You have to have alot more then what you are claiming to warrant a custody change.
  • 12-10-2008 9:16 AM In reply to

    re: Non Custodial parent and Out of Control Teen

    Thanks for your reply. I stated it wrong. He was instructed to contact the Department of Children and Families, although I didn't think they would be relevant to this situation either. I think the idea of setting her up is horrible to have to do, but necessary. She's really out of control and needs restraint before she hurts herself or someone else. Thanks so much!
  • 12-10-2008 9:34 AM In reply to

    re: Non Custodial parent and Out of Control Teen

    I'll entertain your questions this once. The child was happy when she got her driver's permit because she was the first from her group of peers (and people he hangs out with) to get it. To date, they still don't have their permits.

    We learn about her outings after the fact, through people we know that are reliable sources of info. Dad has approached both mom and daughter about it. Daughter screams and curses, and mom blames dad for having left her and steers away from the child's issues. (BTW, I have nothing to do with their brakeup and met dad long after they split) Mom and child do these things without informing dad, so being that he is not the custodial parent he is out of the loop.

    Dad doesn't want to file for full custody because daughter doesn't want to live with him and has threatened to run away or hurt herself. She has, however, agreed to go to counseling with dad, so that's a step in the right direction for them. The only thing I think should happen further is for mom to joing the counseling sessions because she and dad need to agree on how to handle their child without undermining each other's authority. But that's up to them. I'm really not trying to get too involved because, although I care for dad and daughter, the reality is that I'm just a third party in this situation.
  • 12-10-2008 3:51 PM In reply to

    • Drew
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
    • Posts 49,510

    re: Non Custodial parent and Out of Control Teen

    If daughter is on far side of law then it might be to safety of everyone and dads tactical advantage is she gets arrested a few times for driving w/o licensed driver and dringkig underage or whatever fits the mold--while supposedlyin mom's custody.

    If Mom allows an unlicensed driver to drive her car she is asking for problems if anything at all happens--like watch her insurance soar!

    Absent some serious bad news I don't think he has a shot at changing custody--and to be honest I'm not sure I'd want an unruly 16 year old under my roof if she is out of control and I don't have the right combinationsof carrot and stick to change anything....?

  • 12-10-2008 8:35 PM In reply to

    re: Non Custodial parent and Out of Control Teen

    Thanks Drew; I agree. I don't like the feeling that we are 'conspiring' against her, but I honestly believe that she needs restraint at this time because she is really out of control and doesn't seem to care about anything or anyone but herself and friends. I like her and think she is a good person. Just think my boyfriend and his ex-wife spoiled her too much and unfortunately are now paying the price for it. Hopefully the counseling will work and letting her get caught driving unlicensed will set her straight. Thanks again for the input.
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