Single Mom Wanting To Move

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Latest post Tue, Jan 3 2017 2:01 PM by ca19lawyer2. 10 replies.
  • Mon, Dec 26 2016 12:49 PM

    Single Mom Wanting To Move

    I'm a single mom to my little one who is almost 1. I'm not currently working and have a child support case in process with my ex. However, over the last month I've decided that I want to move to a different state, closer to baby's father so they can possibly have a relationship. However, I'm currently living with my parents and they don't think I should be taking my little one there to even visit. I have a feeling if I told them I was moving that they would threaten a way to stop me (taking my little one, etc.) Is this something that would be a possibility? I REALLY want to move next year, maybe summer/fall but I want to make sure they can't do something to stop me. 

  • Mon, Dec 26 2016 1:15 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    ConfusedMommyOfOne:

    I'm a single mom to my little one who is almost 1. I'm not currently working and have a child support case in process with my ex. However, over the last month I've decided that I want to move to a different state, closer to baby's father so they can possibly have a relationship. However, I'm currently living with my parents and they don't think I should be taking my little one there to even visit. I have a feeling if I told them I was moving that they would threaten a way to stop me (taking my little one, etc.) Is this something that would be a possibility? I REALLY want to move next year, maybe summer/fall but I want to make sure they can't do something to stop me. 

    If you are age 18 or older, then the decision to move is yours alone to make. Your parents cannot stop you from moving and cannot somehow take the child from you to prevent the child from moving with you unless they somehow already have custody of the child. They cannot get custody of the child if you oppose it without a court first declaring you (and the father) unfit to care for the child.

    If you are under age 18, then your parents still control where you live and they certainly could prevent you from moving to the other state.

  • Mon, Dec 26 2016 1:27 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    I'm almost 30, but don't handle my moms overbearing attitude very well. She makes a lot of threats and she's one that it's hard to tell when she's lying or being truthful. 

  • Mon, Dec 26 2016 4:42 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    Nothing you have posted so far indicates dad is interested in a serious relationship with his child. 

    BTW what kind of a job and pay do you have lined up at your new location.   What was your job and earning level before ?  I doubt whatever child support you actually collect is going to meet thenchild full needs .

     



  • Tue, Dec 27 2016 11:57 AM In reply to

    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    Your mom has zero rights here. I would keep communication with her to a mininum about this. If you are living with your parents you are better off moving out on your own. Get a job, apply for childcare resources if you need too,  and get a roommate if you need too. Perhaps another single mother. as long as you live with your parents they will try to excert control over you. Look into WIC or foodstamps for help. 

    Are you tring to rekindle romance with father or just moving so that he can get to know his child? 

    Put all your ducks in a row, and make sure the move is a good idea. You will need to look into housing, or schoolk where he lives and make sure you are prepared and make sure Dad is on board with this. 

    Either way you will need a support system in your new area. What ar you going to do for childcare, or when the baby is sick? Stuff to think about. 

  • Tue, Dec 27 2016 12:14 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    I have WIC, CalFresh and CashAid at the moment. I had a long recovery after her birth (CSection, hemorrhage and infection) so staying with my parents was what made sense at the time. 

    Im absolutely not trying to rekindle with him, he with someone else, but I do think she deserves a chance to be able to spend time with him if he chooses. 

    I have housing lined up with a friend, and it's who I have stayed with when I took my little one to visit her father in the past. Schools are better and cost of living is lower where he lives. 

    Hoping I can get some job openings or Back into school when I move. 

     

  • Tue, Dec 27 2016 12:47 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    I agree staying with your parents made sense, and it was nice of them to help you out. However you are mom and if you really want to move then do it. I would stop relaying your plans to your parents. They dont need to know every detail of your life. if I were you though, start working on getting out on your own before you move. Do you have a local friend or other family you can stay with? 9 more months of living with your parents is not going to be easy. 

  • Tue, Dec 27 2016 2:55 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: Single Mom Wanting To MoveA

    I would have a serious talk with counsel as to the child support issues underway in CA...IF everyone has left CA there might be problems as to getting a support order in CA ...I'd want to be sure my child has the best possible support in place before I moved ...unless the new state had superior support rules ...but sort it out with counsel. FIRST?....you decision, not Moms ...



  • Thu, Dec 29 2016 12:35 PM In reply to

    • CJ
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    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    Your mom has absoluitly zero rights to your child or to prevent a move.

    My concern is that you are considering this move in hopes that your ex will want to be active in his child's life. If he wanted it, he would come to HER. He would have already made her a priority.  Moving closer to him "just in case he wasn't to see her" doesn't sound like a good plan to me. And how well do you get along with the new girlfriend?  More time with dad means more time with her.  And more time with dad will mean less money for you. Something to think about.  A few other things you might want to consider is childcare.  My guess is your parents are helping with that but you're also not working.  So once you get a job, who will watch your child?  Believe me, childcare is really really expensive. We're talking over $1500 a month for infants. 

    I totally get that living with your parents at 30 is not ideal and your mom is hard to deal with on a daily basis but ... you can't replace the love and care that a grandparent can give to their grandchild.  I was much younger that you are when I had my daughter but I lived at home until she was 5 and even when I moved out, I stayed only a few blocks away. Without their support and free childcare, I never would have been able to make a financially stable life for us. 

    So the legal answer to your question is your parents have no rights and can't stop you from moving. My question to you though, is moving really in the best interest of your child? Only you know the the answer to that. 

     


  • Thu, Dec 29 2016 5:23 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    OP ...so far nothing indicates you have seriously focused on getting dads feet nailed down to pay child support...and your child needs/deserves that .

    And it seems a bit lax as to getting a serious job or back to college for a specific career betterment option.

    Yes you may have had a difficult pregnancy or delivery..but so,do a good many moms ...... 

     

     

     



  • Tue, Jan 3 2017 2:01 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Mom Wanting To Move

    ConfusedMommyOfOne:
    I . . .have a child support case in process with my ex. However, over the last month I've decided that I want to move to a different state, closer to baby's father so they can possibly have a relationship.

    Just to be clear, are your "ex" and the "baby's father" the same person?

     

    ConfusedMommyOfOne:
    I have a feeling if I told them I was moving that they would threaten a way to stop me (taking my little one, etc.) Is this something that would be a possibility?

    Is it a possibility that they might threaten you?  Of course it is (and, needless to say, you know them and we don't, so you obviously know better than anyone here what they might do).  Likewise, it's possible that they might do any number of things beyond merely threatening you.  Again, you know them and we don't.

    I suspect what you really intended to ask is whether your parents have any legal right to prevent you from moving, and the answer to that is no (unless there are relevant facts you didn't include in your post).

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