What to expect - Visitation

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Latest post Wed, Mar 29 2017 2:01 PM by Drew. 17 replies.
  • Mon, Mar 27 2017 9:20 AM In reply to

    • Snarah
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    • Joined on Thu, Mar 23 2017
    • AR
    • Posts 4

    Re: What to expect - Visitation

    It's definitely something I asked about. My lawyer seems confident that since my h left them in my care, and hasn't seen them in two months, that's a strong indication to the court that I am fit, able, and available to care for them on my own. I was able to get all of my h's previous responsibilities handled in other ways. I hope the judge will agree that they are better off continuing as is.


    The lawyer thinks getting sole custody should be a given, since they are doing well in my custody, and although my h was a stay at home dad I have always been the one to take care of their educations, conferences, medical appointments, etc. My husband was pretty the driver. He did take good care of them as babies when he was with them all day. Of course I still worry.

    If they (he and his person) moved here, that would almost solve some of my problems, since then the kids could stay in their known lives (especially my oldest son), and they could see their dad regularly. It would give me an opportunity to have a life again someday I hope. I have a court order that gives me temporary possession of the house, so he can't kick us out, but I have no idea how long that will last. At least until we go to court, hopefully in the next month. My lawyer is going to ask the court to give me one year in order to save for a down payment to get my own house, but it's anybody's guess how that will go. That I guess is what I was hoping to see here, if experience has given anyone an idea how this will all go, especially custody/visitation given the circumstances. I hope my lawyer is right, but I guess there's no way to know until the time comes....

  • Tue, Mar 28 2017 11:24 AM In reply to

    • CJ
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Aug 2 1999
    • CA
    • Posts 1,721

    Re: What to expect - Visitation

    I don't think anyone can tell you how your situation will turn out. There's just so many different factors that play into it and every judge is different.  

    How is your husband financially surviving? Is he living off his girlfriend? Has your lawyer talked to you about the possibility that you might have to pay HIM spousal support since he was the stay at home dad?  As for visitation, when one parent moves away, the burden of travel is generally on them.  They pay for flights, hotel, gas etc. If your kids can't fly alone then he's responsible for flying to you to pick them up and flys back with them to drop them off. That will get VERY expensive.  And it's generally a week here and a week there but will also work around holiday and school vacations. My guess is if he's not working then he's not going to be able to afford travel for 3 kids so his involvment could be limited to him comeing to you instead of sending the kids his way. 

    I'm sorry you're faced with this.  Seperation and divorce is not only hard on the adults but also so hard on the kids.  Sounds like you have a decent lawyer so really just follow what they suggest.  Best of luck. 

  • Wed, Mar 29 2017 2:01 PM In reply to

    • Drew
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Thu, Mar 30 2000
    • PA
    • Posts 51,417

    Re: What to expect - Visitation

    the laws tend to favor both parents having some role in child's life with visitations etc....so why not assme dad gets some level of involvement  but focus on schedules and travel arrangememts if any at his cost that are safe for each child. 

    HE is not a stay at home dad if he has run off , and I might focus on imputed income so he is paying something ..and get it worded so he is on hook u ntil child is self,supporting  if possible .

    courts have a tough time addressing parenting styles ...but they can divide and assign money support  duties pretty well......

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