non-custodial parent moving out of state

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Latest post Wed, Feb 14 2007 8:03 AM by OhioCP. 2 replies.
  • Tue, Feb 13 2007 6:10 PM

    • nevmom
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    • Joined on Tue, Feb 13 2007
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    Question [=?] non-custodial parent moving out of state

    My ex and I have been divorced for three years. I have been the primary care provider for my 10 and 8 year old for their entire lives and subsequently became the custodial parent with joint legal custody. My ex is now remarried and I have a live in partner of the opposite sex that has been involved for about two years.

    My question stems from the non-custodial parent moving out of state and the rights that surround that move. They believe the move was forced and there for expect us to cover half the cost and transportation of the kids twice a month and maybe more and a lions share of holidays and summer time. They now live about 4 1/2 away in another state that involves a drive through the Sierras. We feel the move was a result of poor decisions made over the last two years that left them little choice in the end.

    So far we have agreed to meet half way not more than twice a month until we can come up with a new parenting plan and visitation guide. This is quite a burden on us as our income is what you would expect of an artist and a server. Their income is what you would expect of two pilots. We feel that the reason for their move has no bearing on the new parenting plan we are trying to negotiate. They feel they are entitled to quite a bit because it is a forced move on their part. The legal advice on both sides is completely opposite.

    This matter of moving seems to be holding up the rest of the negotiations because of the underlying belief that they had no choice, while we feel they have all kinds of choices that would bring them closer to being with the kidsif they chose that path.

    Does anyone have some advice? There doesn't seem to be alot out there in reguards to the noncustodial parent moving, it all seems to be about the custodial parent moving. We asked lawyers and have gotten many opposing answers.
  • Tue, Feb 13 2007 7:50 PM In reply to

    Idea [I] re: non-custodial parent moving out of state

    Hi,
    Before I say anything else, I would strongly encourage you not to listen to your ex regarding legal issues.

    Generally speaking, whether custodial or non-custodial, a parent who moves away typically is responsible for paying 100% of the cost of visitation travel and expense. It does not matter whether your child's other parent feels he was forced to move, had no choice, etc. You are not to blame, and therefore should not have to bear the burden of decisions he makes in that regard. They are hornswaggling you!

    It is extremely generous of you to offer to pay for half of the travel expense for now. I would strongly suggest you ask for nothing less than 100% payment on their part. You may still agree to drive half way, but your ex should be responsible for reimbursing you for the expense, and you can carry that as far as you want. If you have to take time off of work to do this, he should pay for that, too.

    My suggestion would be for you to work on a new visitation schedule, which allows him more time at once and fewer visits. For example, maybe 2 months on the summer and one weekend a month, as opposed to the every other weekend you have now. Depending on how he decides to get the children - wether he comes to get them, flies them to him, or pays you to bring them, the kids would probably be happier to go for longer periods.

    It was not your decision to have him move - and no matter what he says, we all have choices. He could have found another line of work, he could have done several different things to remain in the area. You are being penalized for something you had nothing to do with and I would suggest you talk to an attorney about your rights.

    Sue :)
  • Wed, Feb 14 2007 8:03 AM In reply to

    • OhioCP
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    re: non-custodial parent moving out of state

    When my ex (an NCP) moved out of state, I consulted with my attorney as I was concerned about who would pay for travel costs, and the feasibility to try to continue an EOW schedule. My attorney told me that the courts in my area would NOT consider it reasonable at all to keep the same visitation schedule, that if my ex tried to demand it, the judge would not agree. He also reassured me that I would not be held responsible for any of the travel costs, since it was his decision to move.

    Have you actually heard from the ex's attorney, or is this coming from your ex? I'm curious to know what the legal argument might be from the "other" side.

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