What chance do I have to win

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Latest post 09-12-2007 4:13 PM by auntjessi. 6 replies.
  • 09-04-2007 3:46 PM

    What chance do I have to win

    We are going to court this month for full custody and supervised visit's (IOWA).

    I am the step father and we have very real concerns regarding the biological fathers ability to keep him out of harms way.

    First he is an alchoholic and drug addict. We have him admiting that while leaving a message for my wife. We downloaded it to an MP3.

    Second. He and his current girlfriend moved a convicted child rapist into there home when our son was living there part time. The rapist has since moved out. He still lives there.

    Third. The biological father lives with a lady who's son molested my child. He has not moved out of the home and has claimed to have moved out of the home. We have proof that he still lives there even though he says he does not live there.

    His father also does not take him when he is supposed to take him and claims disability to make a living. His is currently suing some company claiming he got injured there and wants his money. We already sent the company video of him doing chores for money.

    So what are our chances of making sure our kid only has supervised visits with his biological father. I am now at about $11,000 in attorny fee's. It's killing me and if we lose this case it might kill my wife when our kids has to go over there.
  • 09-04-2007 4:00 PM In reply to

    • peridot
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    • Joined on 10-21-2002
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    Feedback [*=*] re: What chance do I have to win

    First of all, it is your wife who is the parent and they are her kids and this is her case.

    I don't know that you have enough actual proof of the things you accuse Dad of doing and being. That would depend upon Iowa law, and your wife would need to discuss the voice message on MP3 and the convicted child rapist issues with an attorney. Did she file any reports or motions at the time the rapist was living with Dad and SM?

    What has Mom done, legally, about the claims of abuse by the son of Dad's roommate/gf? Proof that he lives there is not proof of molestation.

    Visitation is a right -- Dad does not have to use his visitation. That is not a crime.

    How Dad makes his living is none of your business. If he's on disability, then that is how he supports himself.

    Involving yourself in his personal business, such as insurance claims, does NOT help the coparenting relationship between Mom and Dad, does it?

    I don't know what Mom's chances are at supervised visitation. That depends in part on the answers to my (and others') questions, and also upon the judge and many other factors.
  • 09-04-2007 4:15 PM In reply to

    re: What chance do I have to win

    O.K. first off your wrong on one thing. It is my wife's kid but I do take care of the kid and so therefore it is my child also. This is my case as well. Anytime a kids that lives with me is put in harms way it is my case also. My job as a secondary parent is to make sure that I keep the child out of harms way. I would not be a good parent or step father of a child if that were not the case.

    Second we do have documentation through DHS regarding the molestation occuring in the home that he currently lives. The kid that did it to him still lives there. DHS has recomended that the child not be allowed to go back to the home. That is the biggest concern.

    Third his job does have an impact. He is not making child support payments and is about $8,000 in the rear on his payments. He also did not hold up his end of the bargin on the health insurance for the child that he was required to do in the divorce decree. I currently have the child under my insurance. Sorry I did not mention that is why the disability is a point in the case. He is currently using his disability as an excuse why he does not pay and why he has no health insurance on the child. It's not big but he is lying about it.

    We also have the police chief of the town testifying about him having prior knowledge of a sex predator in the home with him and my step son.

    We also played along with his B.S. regarding not taking the child when he was supposed to . We always chalked that up to a no big deal thing.

    It has no bearing weather he is a good dad or bad dad. It has all to do with the fact that he puts the kid in a bad spot and a dangerous spot at that.
  • 09-04-2007 4:31 PM In reply to

    • peridot
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 10-21-2002
    • CO
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    re: What chance do I have to win

    You wrote:
    "O.K. first off your wrong on one thing. It is my wife's kid but I do take care of the kid and so therefore it is my child also. This is my case as well."

    And you are wrong in the legal sense. Legally, stepparents have no rights to the child/ren, and are considered legal strangers. There's a legal danger in your attitude: IF you represent yourself in this way to a judge or mediator or GAL, you may cause problems for your wife. Overinvolved stepparents are not popular in court.

    All that aside, I can only repeat that the proofs your wife has against her child's father must be reviewed by a local attorney who knows the local rules of evidence.

    Child support is a separate issue from parenting time (visitation), and will not be an issue in a custody situation. If he is not paying his CS, Mom must file contempt.
  • 09-04-2007 10:33 PM In reply to

    Note [#=#] Thread Cleaned Up

    We're not going to get into a prolonged discussions about various perspectives of the current state of the "system". This board is dedicated to providing general legal information.

    Angie
    Community Moderator
  • 09-05-2007 9:19 AM In reply to

    Note [#=#] to helpneeded04

    I hope the responses you've received are helpful.

    When you joined this site, you stated you had read and would abide by its Rules, which state that foul language is not allowed. Abbreviating it ("B.S.") makes it no more acceptable.

    This site wants messages to be comfortable for everyone to read.

    Angie
    Community Moderator
  • 09-12-2007 4:13 PM In reply to

    re: What chance do I have to win

    Taking care of this child does not make him yours. YOU ARE A LEGAL STRANGER TO THIS CHILD, NOT HIS FATHER! I see a change of custody coming because of your overinvolvement and overstepping your bounderies. THIS SITUATION IS LEGALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.You are going to cause your wife a lot of problems if you dont step back and stay out of it
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