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Is this grounds for FULL CUSTODY

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Latest post Tue, Nov 14 2006 8:46 PM by streetdocs. 8 replies.
  • Mon, Nov 13 2006 1:52 PM

    Question [=?] Is this grounds for FULL CUSTODY

    Ok, I have joint custody with visitation w/my son's dad...He was supposed to move out of state early this year so we went to court and made arrangements for visitations such as the holidays and summer times...So now, we found out that he just got married and decided that he'll still be in town for another year or so...Anyways, before this arrangement we used to have alternating weekends...Now, my son found out his Dad is staying around town he wants to see his Dad like before...So now this past 2 months my son has been severely depressed coz his Father decides that he's not going to see him since the court order states that visitation times are for when he moves...I can't take all the excuses he keeps making not to see his son...I don't understand why, but this is making my son sad all the time now...Wondering why if Daddy didn't move how come he still doesn't want to see me :(
    I mean are these grounds for me to file for full custody...Please help...
  • Mon, Nov 13 2006 2:46 PM In reply to

    • CJ
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Aug 2 1999
    • CA
    • Posts 1,721

    re: Is this grounds for FULL CUSTODY

    No, it's not.
  • Mon, Nov 13 2006 2:56 PM In reply to

    Sad [:(] re: Is this grounds for FULL CUSTODY

    Thank you CJ...

    ...But is this even if the father is choosing not to see our son?? We used to have alternating weekends...But then he decided that he'll be moving last year and we went to court already for this but now since he got married...He's decided that his new wifey is more importand than his own son...Honestly, I just feel aweful for my son...He's always down now and always trying to get his Dad to come pick him up...But that's not the case...What else can I do :(
  • Mon, Nov 13 2006 3:07 PM In reply to

    • CJ
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Aug 2 1999
    • CA
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    re: Is this grounds for FULL CUSTODY

    Unfortunatly you can't force dad to have visitation when he choose not to. All you can do is be there for your son. Don't over do it and sympathze to much because that can make him feel even worse. Do fun stuff together and tell him that daddy loves him just as much as he always has but his schedule has changed and he just can't come by as often as before.

    And .... money talks sometimes so maybe you can inform dad that if he choosing not to excercise his visitation then you'll be taking him back to court for more support since you now have the kiddo more days during the year. Maybe that will spark a fire under him?

  • Mon, Nov 13 2006 6:45 PM In reply to

    Disagree [)*(] However.....

    it's not like he's not utilizing the visitation he was awarded by the court. As I understood the post, the visitation was modified by the court because the ex expected to move out of state, but has since changed his mind. This poster is wanting Dad to take more visitation than was court ordered, which is VERY admirable, but likely not grounds for a change in child support as he's following the court order.
  • Mon, Nov 13 2006 7:09 PM In reply to

    • LynnM
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Apr 3 2000
    • CA
    • Posts 28,248

    re: Is this grounds for FULL CUSTODY

    The NCP cannot be forced to see the child. How would full custody change anyhitng? Do you really think your child will be less hurt?
  • Tue, Nov 14 2006 10:32 AM In reply to

    • SMT1
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on Mon, Feb 13 2006
    • Posts 9

    Idea [I] re: Is this grounds for FULL CUSTODY

    Why don't you just try to go back to court and explain the changed circumstances and show the courts that it has been detrimental on the child by not having his father around now. Good luck..
  • Tue, Nov 14 2006 5:04 PM In reply to

    Note [#=#] re: Is this grounds for FULL CUSTODY

    Honestly, I'm a bit tired of going back and forth with the court...He's still moving...The question is when...On the court order he was supposed to move early this year...He's still going by all his holiday vacations...I'm just thinking about my son who's missing his Dad...I know that once he moves it will be hard for my son anyways...It's just that it's harder now being that my son knows his Dad is still around and is questioning why he's not making any effort to come see him...Yes, I understand I can't force visitation...But I'm just not sure how to help my son go through this right now...It just makes me sad...
  • Tue, Nov 14 2006 8:46 PM In reply to

    Idea [I] My suggestion......

    Just explain to your son that his Dad is really busy. It's not that Dad doesn't love him, it's just that grown ups have responsiblities. Explain that his father still loves him and will spend as much time as he can. In reality most fathers, even the nondivorced ones don't get to spend as much time with their kids as they would like. It's not because they don't love them, it's just they are so busy providing for their families, which they view as showing their love. Take my husband for example, he works 2 full time jobs so that I can be home with our kids and go back to school. So he doesn't get to see us very much at all. It's not because he doesn't love us, on the contrary it's because he love us. I don't know the situation with your ex, but I'd guess deep down you know the ex really does love his son, he's just got other things going on right now also. If your son is old enough you could possibly help him with ways to talk to his dad about how the situation makes him feel and then maybe dad will take it better. He's more likely to listen if it comes directly from your son rather than you. Good luck!
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