How do I get my daughter back?

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Latest post 03-21-2009 9:56 PM by Angie, Community Moderator (Admin). 5 replies.
  • 03-21-2009 1:03 AM

    • dlp7785
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 03-21-2009
    • IL
    • Posts 3

    How do I get my daughter back?

    I am 23 years old and I lost custody of my daughter to her father. I lost custody of her December of 2005. My ex-boyfriend hurt her (I was not charged). I completed all of the requirements DCFS wanted me to complete. I recieved paper work stating everything was satisfactory, but after we went to court they gave full custody to her father. He father, by the way, kicked me out of his home when I was four months pregnant and said she was not his. He beat me up when I was five months pregnant and he went to jail. He has a history of domestic violence. He did not come around until she was six months old. We had a DNA test taken to prove he was her father. The last time we went to court the judge told us to agree upon visits. We agreed to every other weekend, and things were going good. As of the end of January he is not letting me get her on the weekends any more. He will not even talk to me. All conversations are with his wife. When I talk to her she says I have supervised visits and I can see her for two hours maximun on her days off work. When I do see her she cries, does not want me to go, and always says she wants to go with me. What can I do to get visitations back? Do I have a chance at getting custody back? My fiancee and I are full-time students. I am taking Psychology to become a Substance Abuse Counselor and he is taking Psychology to become a Clinical Psychologist. We have a two bedroom house and are living well. Her father does not work (his wife does though as a CNA). I need help. I cannot go any longer without being able to see my daughter.

  • 03-21-2009 10:28 AM In reply to

    Re: How do I get my daughter back?

    If DCFS is no longer involved ( they closed the case out) ,  you would need to file to establish your custody rights in custody court.  If DCFS is still involved and your case is still court involved,  contact your social work and see how to get it back before that judge.

    While you certainly have every right to have a relationship with your child ( whatever that ends up looking like),  maybe you need to keep in mind that if at the time that your daughter was hurt ,her father was there to step up and take custody of her,  with the alternative being foster care.

  • 03-21-2009 2:24 PM In reply to

    Re: How do I get my daughter back?

    It breaks my heart when I hear boyfriends abusing their girlfriends kids. Was he alone with her? I am glad she turned out ok (I hope) it could have been much worse. Many kids die after the boyfriend abuses them. A boyfriend who is not the father of an infant or a toddler spells disaster in many cases. Social services and the family court take this stuff very seriously which I'm sure you realize.

    I am not sure you have a shot at getting custody back due to your track record with the ex boyfriend but you should at least have visits. You need to go back to court an request unsupervised visits. How old is the child now?  Since the child has been with dad for so long honestly not sure of your chances at custody back.

  • 03-21-2009 2:43 PM In reply to

    • dlp7785
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 03-21-2009
    • IL
    • Posts 3

    Re: How do I get my daughter back?

    DCFS is no longer around. They have been out of the picture since September of 2007. My daughter was suppose to be returned home and when we went to court they let her father have her. I completed Parenting Classes, Substances Abuse Classes, Domestic Violence Counseling, Sexual Assult Counseling, GED, Full-Time Job, my own apartment, and I was going to NA and AA everyday. I did not end up using until after my daughter was taken and I now have 3 years sober. Her father was no where around until she turned six months old. Do I have a chance of fighting for full custody or should I just go for visitations first? 

  • 03-21-2009 2:50 PM In reply to

    • dlp7785
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 03-21-2009
    • IL
    • Posts 3

    Re: How do I get my daughter back?

    My daughter is four years old. No I was not there the day she was hurt. I was working. I came home and her arm was swollen so I rushed her straight to the hospital. They said it was fractured to take her home and put ice on it. That was the only thing she showed that hurt. I took her to my hometown when I went to my brother-in-law's funeral and took her to the ER there. Come to find out her arm was broke in two places, bothe knees, and her eighth rib. He was arrested and confessed and even told them I had nothing to do with it. The only reason she was taken from me was because I was her main caretaker. They told me that I should not have left her with anyone. I should not be working (moreless) to raise her. I was not charged with anything. When I was getting her for the weekend she would show up in nasty looking clothes and holes in her socks and her hair stinking and nasty. I have proof from my mother and father-in-law. She has even told me that daddy touches her. So I called the Child Abuse Hotline. They told me they sat her in a room and she does not seem to be touched. They did not even have her looked at. The detective told me that I was lying to get back at him. I told them I wanted her looked at and they told me they did not have to. There was no reason to. Would I have a chance at full custody?

  • 03-21-2009 9:56 PM In reply to

    Re: How do I get my daughter back?

    No one here can do anything but guess at the answers to your "chances".  We only have a glimpse of the whole picture from you, and that's not enough to weigh all the factors.  I'd suggest you consult with an attorney in your area, bringing all legal documents concerning the situation you possess.  Some attorneys provide a free initial consultation.

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