Can I get the father to waive his rights and child support?

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Latest post 06-30-2009 8:28 PM by LynnM. 6 replies.
  • 06-28-2009 8:27 PM

    • ndeal429
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    • GA
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    Can I get the father to waive his rights and child support?

    I live in Georgia.  I'm pregnant and the father is trying to manipulate me into giving the baby up for adoption.  I'm a teacher, and he's a successful IT consultant.  GA has legitimation laws where the mother can deny visitation rights to the father of an unlegitimated child.  Can I also get him to sign a contract waiving his paternal rights if I agree to not make him pay child support?  He's insisted that it's not possible to do anything like that, but I know people who are in the process of doing exactly that.

    The reason I ask is because he insists that if I keep the child and don't find someone to adopt the child and take over his half of the parental responsibilities, then he's going to pay child support because he doesn't want someone trying to get him to pay 18 years worth of back child support one day.  He says if he's going to pay child support, then he's going to expect to have visitation, and that he'll hate us for forcing him into it.  This isn't going to be a good situation for my family or the child, and I want to make sure that he can't bother us and be a negative force in our lives.  I'm not going to just ask someone to adopt out his half of the kid, just for the sake of it when he can just walk away and leave us alone.

    The reason he wants adoption so badly and he's trying to make it impossible for me to live peaceably if I don't choose adoption is because he thinks that things will go back to normal and we'll still be friends once the baby is gone.

  • 06-28-2009 9:21 PM In reply to

    • Kivi
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 01-01-2005
    • CA
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    Re: Can I get the father to waive his rights and child suppo...

    Most states take the position that the support belongs to the child and generally do not allow the unmarried or divorced parents to waive child support.

    On the other hand, child support is seldom retroactive in nature.  The one big exception is if you apply for a receive Government financial assistance such as Medicaid or TANF.  I know that you are stating that you have a good job, etc., but life has a way of doing things to the best laid plans of mice and men (or women).

  • 06-28-2009 11:59 PM In reply to

    Re: Can I get the father to waive his rights and child suppo...

    There is no reason why a court would let him do this. If you 2 work out an agreement that you will not seek child support and he will not seek visitation that is up to you. The courts will not allow him to legally be a deadbeat. If you go on gov't assistance the courts will make you file child support. You do not have to give him any rights at all to the child.

  • 06-29-2009 7:24 AM In reply to

    Re: Can I get the father to waive his rights and child suppo...

    Any "agreement" and anything short of termination of parental rights would not be enforceable as you could file for child support at any time ( regardless of any "agreements") and he could file for custody rights at any time ( regardless of any "agreements").

  • 06-29-2009 3:11 PM In reply to

    Can't sell children . . .

    ndeal429:
    Can I also get him to sign a contract waiving his paternal rights if I agree to not make him pay child support?

    In some/many states that's potentially a criminal act.  You're basically selling stuff there.  Do NOT document that with a contract.  And even if not criminal, it likely isn't an enforceable contract.

    ndeal429:
    I want to make sure that he can't bother us and be a negative force in our lives.

    You don't have that power.  He's either involved, or not, and it is HIS choice.

    The best way to arrange this is to go through the courts and get all the appropriate orders.  If he doesn't want visitation, the court may not order it.  If the court orders support and you don't want him around, just refund the support back to him.

    HOWEVER!!!  Recognize that he can seek or assert visitation rights at any time, just like you could refuse to refund the support.

    ndeal429:
    This isn't going to be a good situation for my family or the child

    You don't get to choose a "good situation" once you are pregnant.  The rights and obligations are established by law and paternity.  If he's a toad, the government can't make him into a prince.

  • 06-29-2009 5:12 PM In reply to

    • ndeal429
      Consumer
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    • Joined on 06-28-2009
    • GA
    • Posts 2

    Re: Can I get the father to waive his rights and child suppo...

    So if he's threatening to be negatively involved in our lives if I don't give up the child for adoption, the only way I can guarantee that the child won't be bothered by him is to do what he says?  I don't want to give the baby up for adoption, and I don't want the child growing up knowing his father loathes the both of us.  He told me that he would loathe me if I kept the baby and that I would know it every time he came to exercise his visitation rights.  Well, it helps to know that child support isn't usually retroactive.  It may help dissuade him.  It also helps that GA is a state with legitimation laws.  If the process isn't completed within 6 months of birth, he loses all rights and can only have visitation if and when I say he can.

  • 06-30-2009 8:28 PM In reply to

    Re: Can I get the father to waive his rights and child suppo...

    I'm not sure how you came up with that interpretation of GA law.

    You cannot MAKE him be happy about this. He cannot force you to give the child up for adoption. He has a right to be involved with his child but no legal obligation to do so. He DOES have an obligation to support the child is you keep it.

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