Thanks, Kivi. I think you are right. I have wasted days trying to write a reply to the attorney that will just clear up the facts, but I always get carried away. Should we just drop it? Wait, hang tough? Because it is all so much bluff. That is what you say and it sounds good. Just don't know if I can shut up. I at least want to clear up the first wife's property issue that is driving the whole thing. It is so hurtful to sister. When you live into your 90's you have so few surviving friends of your own generation, and brother was one of a tiny number. They tried to involve the deceased brother's children, and they came roaring through with support for their aunt (whom I called "sister").
I would love to get my hands on the probate file. Sister is housebound and does not live in the city. I do, and can get down to Chambers St. Could I at least look at the file there? Must be archived, but maybe on microfiche. I understand copying is very expensive. Is this doable -- does anyone know how this all works? The mother lived in Manhattan (NY County). Probated there. I am a member of the family and can get sister's ID if necessary.