Can I prove my wife is lying & looking to take money

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Latest post 10-11-2009 2:21 PM by familyfirst1968. 4 replies.
  • 07-03-2009 5:19 PM

    Can I prove my wife is lying & looking to take money

    I've recently received a counter claim from my wife's attorney seeking $1300 in support per month to cover monthly expenses and medical bills. She also wants me to pay for her legal fees and purchase seperate medical and life insurance for her.

     

    My wife refuses to communicate with me and we have not communicated in a month since she was served divorce papers. Currently I do not know her employment situation, but last time she and I spoke, she was still claiming short term disability. She says she has seizures and can't go back to work, can't go out, can't function normally. All of the medical tests, all of the doctors and specialists have found no problem at all. The seizure specialist found it to be non-epileptic seizures caused by stress and that many people have them, but need to find the stress cause through the help of a phsychiatrist. She didn't like the thought of that and said she wasn't going to anymore doctors and behaved as though she had no plans to go back to work.

    Now throughout the last 5 months before we seperated, shortly after we got married in August 2008 she began to treat me with less respect, would scream and yell at me over little things, and would allow her family to treat me like i was dirt and walk all over me.

    Also, in 2007 she had taken out a personal loan that I am joint on, and the funds from that were used towards planning our wedding. They were deposited into a joint checking account we setup along with gift money form my parents. When I decided I couldn't go on living with her treatment of me and decidied to go through with divorce, she went to that joint checking account and withdrew the entire amount of money. Also, a week before she wanted half of our tax return money to put in her own account, so I agreed and let her withdraw it from my account.

    Also, I think its important to note that just before we seperated, she decided to see a phsychologist, and when we looked one up under my plan, the first one that came up she immediately recognized. I asked her how she knew that name, and she revealed to me that before we began our relationship and during part of our early relationship she had been secretly seeing this psychologist and never once reveal this until this point. She explained to me that she was seeing this psychologist for the same reasons she wanted to now, stress from her aunt and her mother and that the stress was so overwhelming she doesn't want to live. I instantly felt betrayed, that she never revealed this to me, as had I known she had physchological condition that she was hiding I would have never gone through with married.

    I apologize for making this so lengthy, but I suppose knowing the backstory will help you give me a better opinion.

    So as of a month ago, my wife had the $2000 she took from our joint account, she had $1600 in tax money she demanded, and whatever amount she had in a personal checking account of hers that she would never share with me nor disclose how much was in there.

    In past few days I found through online credit card statements I have access to, that since we seperated she is out buying clothes, eating out, taking her cats to the vet several times, bought a new latop, and is making large payments to the credit card.

    She also refuses to help pay the joint loan we have and since I bank at the same bank I am forced to make the full payment to avoid the bank freezing my ATM, Credit card, and part of my funds in my accounts there, not to mention to prevent damage my credit.

    She also has a myspace page and wrote on there she is single and that currently shes changing jobs. Along with that, right around the timee bought her new laptop, she wrote on there her computer was broken but she's back online and happy. Also, on that facebook website she presenting herself under her maiden name, even though after we got married she changed her last name to mine.

    Will all of that show that my wife is putitng on a sharade, that my wife doesn't need money, and that she can go out and function and go to work? Without medical proof or positive tests will her claim of seizures hold up in court? I also have compiled folders of documents to support everything I have explained.

    I am hoping to prove that she doesn't have this medical condition, that she has money and is wasting it away. Also, I am definitly hoping that her secretly keeping information about her needing to see a psychologist for stress issues before we got married secret from me, and never revealing them until she has a relapse of her stree issues again. I mean she knew this all along and never cared to reveal them to me. Wouldn't that fall into some aspect of false represention? After we got married I could definitly see she began to treat me different and I saw change in her.

    Any input or opinions would great.

    Thanks

  • 07-03-2009 5:25 PM In reply to

    Re: Can I prove my wife is lying & looking to take money

    Laymans take:

     

    You need to shut off wifes access to any CC's or accounts in your name like NOW!  Close the door tight, sort out details later.

     

    Sounds quite possible she is papering a case that she is unable to work, needs support blah balh--------

    If she is on line with facebook etc--I'd be downloading and saving everything with no comments to enemy!

     

    I think you need counsel to defent/counterattack --like by next week!

     

  • 07-03-2009 10:22 PM In reply to

    Re: Can I prove my wife is lying & looking to take money

    The credit card in question is only in her name so I can't do anything about that.

    I have printed several pages from both myspace and facebook to support those arguements.

     

    I also have an appointment next week with an attorney and I mean to bring up all of those discoveries and how well they will play into the divorce.

     

    I'm really not after any kind of revenge in this divorce, but I'd definitly like to see justice, and also not have to pickup the tab for recent exendures shes making on her sick cat and taking her aunt out to restaurants when she never took her aunt before.

  • 07-08-2009 3:38 PM In reply to

    Re: Can I prove my wife is lying & looking to take money

    A counter claim is part of the pleadings, this is what is being requested at a trial. Make sure this request was in fact a counter claim and not a pre trial motion, which is an entirely different animal.

     

     

    As to the rest of your question, it is impossible to say how a court would determine the outcome of your case based on a few paragraphs of information.  Specific advice is beyond the scope of a message board.

     

    I strongly suggest you retain a lawyer ASAP.

    J. Douglas Barics

    www.jdbar.com

     

  • 10-11-2009 2:21 PM In reply to

    Re: Can I prove my wife is lying & looking to take money

    If you both have attorneys then there really is no reason for you to communicate directly with your wife, let your attorneys do all the communicating.

    Hopefully you are not assuming that the doctors have found nothing wrong with your wife. Unless you have accompanied her to every appointment you have no way of knowing. Additionally just because you are married does not give you rights to your wife's medical records as they are protected by HIPAA laws.

    An example in regards to making assumptions about medical conditions: I am temporarily disabled since 2006 due to herniated discs and a bone spur that required surgery and I am pending 2 other surgeries. My ex assumes that I am a "fraud" because he sees me on "good" days. There are days that I get around ok or to outsiders it appears there is nothing wrong. I do not walk around showing how I feel. Not to mention some days I am down and out due to pain other days it's due to the medication I take. I appreciate any "normality" I can get. My worse days are in the cold weather so to see me through the summer I appear ok.

    IF, and this is a big IF, she had mental issues before your marriage and withheld that from you, you ****MIGHT**** qualify for an annullment. However, they are difficult to get/prove. An attorney could sort that out for you.

    You stated that you have "access to" an account that belongs to your wife. How do you have access if it is not your account? You might find yourself in hot water for accessing something you have no right to. It seems like you might be stalking her to a point. After all, you seem to know a lot about where she goes, what she does and who she does it with and what she's purchasing. While I understand you can see where purchases are made I am sure her credit card statement does not say she dined with her aunt.

    Any online account like My Space or Face Book is not proof that something is a fact. People put up information that they want you to know or believe about them. That doesn't make it true. Who cares what she classifies herself online. Maybe she doesn't want people to question her about your relationship. Also, I have personal knowledge that Face Book asks for your maiden name so that past friends can find you easily. Most people have maiden and married names. Again this really doesn't hold any bearing on anything.

    The court will not get involved with her spending habits. They will however address the obligations you both have and what expenses and property will be devided and how.

    Keep in mind that some information must be obtained specific ways to be admissable to the court.

    »-(¯`v´¯)-» Kimberly »-(¯`v´¯)-»

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