Visitation transportation

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Latest post 09-29-2009 9:45 PM by jumanji. 6 replies.
  • 09-28-2009 12:54 PM

    Visitation transportation

    I am CP, my ex moved from CT the day our divorce was final (about 4 years ago) so he was over 1 hour away. After trying to keep it together, I decided to move back home to family (an additional 1 hour drive away from the NCP). Since there is no language in the divorce decree regarding visitation (we agreed that our daughter should be able to see him whenever she wants) who has the responsibility of driving? He doesn't even see her every other weekend. I figure if I have to drive all month (she just turned 15 and requires a great deal of transportation) then he can commit to picking her up and dropping her off when he wants to play parent for a couple of days. Additionally, he reduced her medical coverage so that the nearest available doctor is 40 miles away. He doesn't take part ANY parenting beyond his weekends - including doctor visits (about 6 per year) extra curricular activities, school requirements etc.

    Any advice, or similar experiences would be helpful.

    Thanks.

  • 09-28-2009 1:07 PM In reply to

    • DPH
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    • Joined on 10-08-2001
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    Re: Visitation transportation

    When daughter indicates that she wants to see Dad, what happens?  Does he respond?  Does he come to get her and bring her back? None of the above?

    If he wants to see her and you agree, maybe you'll could split it.  He gets her and you pick her up or meet half way?  Does he pay CS?

    To me, a lot would depend on how anxious daugther is to see Dad and how he responds. 

    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."  -  Mark Twain

     

  • 09-28-2009 1:17 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
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    Re: Visitation transportation

    Before you say or do wrong things You may want to run your order past CT divorce counsel--sort out options before you play poker! .

     

    1. If he moves away thats his call but generally he bears all visitation costs.

    2. If you move away with child generally you need  permission from courts and if you failed to do so you may have some vunerability as to visitation costs --but as I see it only as far as your original site  not to next state where Dad moved. Sort of depends on exactly waht your order says--and if you are still in CT / same county.

    3. If he was required to provide medical coverage and he cut scope of same I'd say thats an issue to take back before the courts. But what  does order say?

     

    4. Who pays what for college?  Think ahead?

     



  • 09-28-2009 1:34 PM In reply to

    Re: Visitation transportation

    He used to come get her, but I just got married a few weeks ago, and he's insisting I shoulder 1/2 the drive or he wouldn't bring her home at all.

    He does pay child support, but owes me approximately $20,000 from agreements made in the divorce decree that he will not pay. We will be headed back to court for that, so he has asked that we recalculate child support as well. He makes over $100,000 and when we divorced I was unemployed. He still didn't have enough money to cover back taxes on the house we owned (and I lived in with our daughter) so I shouldered those payments on top of the mortgage. We will be back in court, but could take up to 6 months. Wondering if I should put my foot down in the meantime. He can see her anytime he wants, but I don't think I should be required to make his life easier by driving 1/2 way.

  • 09-28-2009 1:49 PM In reply to

    • Drew
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    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
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    Re: Visitation transportation

    Why is he 20K behind? And what have you done to get that sum collected?  Refusal to pay sounds like contempt to me.....

     

    I'd double check with counsel as to if I was close to compliance with order  and CT laws as to my moving before I put down foot on uncertain turf. You want to avoid looking like you denied him his visitation rights.....or giving him a free shot to claim same. All depends a lot on most current status of CT law as to move away parent needing permission etc and are you move away in context of CT law/order. .

    I don't know what law or order say--but if say he moved 50 miles West  and your moved 25 miles East one might make a point that for each allow visitationround trip  you have reasonable duty to put in  2 x 25 miles RT ....but thats engineeering logic..

     

     



  • 09-29-2009 7:49 AM In reply to

    • SPlum
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    • Joined on 03-11-2008
    • Posts 915

    Re: Visitation transportation

    When he relocated right after the divorce, did he drive to where you were to pick her up/drop off for his visits?  If he did it then, and then you moved an hour away from that location, it doesn't seem unrealistic for you to at least drive her to where you used to live, for exchanges.

    Regarding doing all of the other running around and driving her, that's what parents do. 

  • 09-29-2009 9:45 PM In reply to

    Re: Visitation transportation

    michellelp:
    I don't think I should be required to make his life easier by driving 1/2 way.

    At the end of the day, though... it is not about making his life easier or more difficult. It is ALL about doing what's right for your child. And if that means sucking it up and driving halfway? That's what you should do.

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