Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

Previous | Next
 rated by 0 users
Latest post 12-10-2009 2:56 PM by Paddywakk. 11 replies.
  • 12-08-2009 7:32 PM

    • beckycm
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 12-08-2009
    • KY
    • Posts 4

    Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    Me and my ex, who were never married, have shared custody of our 4 yr old son.  When we split we had legal papers drawn up stating how the custody was to be done.  That was over 2 yrs ago and now things have changed.  My job where we live now is ending and I have the opportunity to transfer to another state to maintain employment with my current employer. I ... a small town now and there just aren't any jobs here that would provide me with the income level I have now.  Also, my boyfriend of almost a yr who is in the military also lives in the state where I want to move with my son.  We do plan to marry one day.  My ex has interfered with the custody arrangements and hasn't even abided by all the terms in the custody papers.  He has constantly harrassed me and has threatened that he'll do whatever he has to to make sure I can't leave the current town we both live in now.  I want to go back to court to see if they will allow me to move.  I have tried to be resonable with my ex and I'm willing to work out some sort of visitation for him and our son.  But with us having shared custody, i'm not sure how the courts would look at it or what exactly I would have to do.  Is it possible for me to move out of state with my son? Do the courts allow this often or is it very hard to do?  I'm looking for any help or advice from anyone who may know or anyone who has gone through something similiar like this. 

  • 12-08-2009 7:47 PM In reply to

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    How about leaving your son with his father?

    Then you can live wherever you want, when ever you want.

     

    • The right of the people 
    • to keep and bear arms,
    • shall not be infringed.
  • 12-08-2009 7:51 PM In reply to

    • beckycm
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 12-08-2009
    • KY
    • Posts 4

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    I will never leave my child for anything or anyone!  His father has been abusive to other children in his previous relationships and has another child that he has abused for years.  He's been turned into social services for this several times and has even been turned in for neglect to our son.

  • 12-08-2009 8:32 PM In reply to

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    You chose this man to father your child. You do not have the right to take the child away from his father. If you choose to leave the state there is an excellent chance the court will give custody to dad and you'll get visitation.

  • 12-08-2009 8:33 PM In reply to

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    If you would never leave your son then why would you expect your ex to want to be away from his kid? The chances of you moving away for your boyfriend (which is the main reason you are moving) followed by the job, is not an acceptable reason and your ex can fight the move and ask for custody. Much of what you wrote is totally irrelevant and does not help you in moving out of state. You have to prove the move is in the childs best interest and not yours. From your post it is doubtful.

  • 12-08-2009 9:18 PM In reply to

    • SPlum
      Consumer
    • Top 75 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-11-2008
    • Posts 915

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    Here is a link you may find helpful.  http://www.womenslaw.o...

     

    In Kentucky (if that is the correct state), the onus is on the moving party (you) to show this move is in the best interest of the child.  The focus is on the child, not you.

    You need to focus on this is where your job is sending you.  Don't mention your boyfriend. Investigate the schools and see if they are comparable, if not better where you are going. Is there family there? Is there any wonderful educational opportunities there?   Does Dad exercise his current visitation? If not, have a calendar showing exactly when he has exercised his visitation.  They will want to make sure you are not wanting to relocate to frustrate the child's relationship with Dad. Devise a revised proposed visitation scheduled that will in no way cut Dad's total number of days he has now.   Most long distance schedules include rotating holidays, 3 day weekends, and the majority of summer.  You may need to pay some or all of the transportation costs or have child support reduced. 

    Seems most of the responses you got were personal opinions and not guidance.  If they don't have anything positive to add or help, they should refrain from responding. &nbsp... things happen and people need to move and move on, if it didn't happen, states would not have needed to devise relocation statutes.   Consult a local attorney who can best advise you to the local practices and what you need to do.

  • 12-08-2009 9:37 PM In reply to

    • beckycm
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 12-08-2009
    • KY
    • Posts 4

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    Thank you so much for your information.  My main focus is my child and being able to provide and to continue to provide for him and take care of his needs.  I have researched the area and the schools and am getting a list of that together.  I have worked on a visitation schedule for his dad....however, his dad refuses everything.  His dad doesn't pay any child support now and I provide the majority of the expenses for my son.  I'm just trying to get some incite on this matter...

  • 12-09-2009 12:31 PM In reply to

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    Is there an order for child support? If there isn't then he does not owe you any support. It sounds like in shared custody, CS may not have been ordered.

    If you are able to move, you likley will have to pay 100% of all travel expenses, so make sure you can afford that.

    You are not mentioning the boyfriend but that is part of the reason you are moving. Not in the childs best interest. There is a realistic chance here Dad will get custody if you move, epsecially since you have shared custody now.

     

  • 12-09-2009 12:53 PM In reply to

    • beckycm
      Consumer
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 12-08-2009
    • KY
    • Posts 4

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    I am moving for the best interest of my child.  My job is ending here, not by my choice or desire.  I can either stay here and end up homeless or in the welfare system because I don't have a job and can't find one in this little town that wouldn't currently support us, or I can transfer to another state with the same company I work for now.  That will provide us with the same level of income or more.  There are two states I could go to to continue employment with my current employer...either way I will have to relocate.  My boyfriend happens to live in one of the states...my child's best interest is to give him a good stable healthy environment and that is what I have always done and have provided for him.  I provide for my child or give him a roof over his head if I don't have a job, or if I'm trying to live off the welfare and government system like so many try to do.  I want my child to have the best and the best opportunities in his life, that is why I'm trying to maintain my career and employment.  Granted I have a boyfriend now...things in life change and people's life's change.  Because out of the two states I could go too, I choose to go to the one my boyfriend lives, doesn't mean I'm not thinking of my child's best interest.  My boyfriend isn't the issue here, my life and providing for my child and myself are the issue's.  I have and am looking for other jobs and employment in my area even if it's with a different company.  Thanks to this lovely economy jobs aren't out there a dime a dozen....and I will make sure my child is taken care of and has the best he can.

  • 12-10-2009 8:00 AM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
    • Posts 49,286

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    Laymans take:

     

    Its NOT clear from your post if there is a custody order in place or what--and it could make a major difference .

    (If there is NO order thare are some who suggest move first, qualify as resident in new state , then sort it out--this has some risks and some merits--at least discuss it with counsel)

     

    I think it important that you NOT share iANY nformation about your plans with Dad, friends , enemies, or family except on a legal need to know basis--discuss it with counsel only .

     If there is an order, the lack of job locally and the assured job via transfer via your current employer very much sounds like a reason you can articulate to be in childs better interest to have a parent who is able to economically provide for child--but you bear burden to state it in clear language that counts to court, and I sugggest you focus on benefit to child--and its OK to state downside of no job = peril to child as well.  Be prepared to address that you have made a diligent search for jobs locally and found zippo, if thats true.

    Moving to be with new BF is not in childs benefit as such--and I'd not suggest you get into same --it opens up wrong  issues.

    If Dad is not paying CS--why not? If there is no order for same--I suggest you go get an order ASAP. (Discuss potential jurisdictional and logistical issues with counsel up front--its possible you might be better off to use new location--but ask first!)

    Moving and CS are not supposed to be linked...but it happens as a practical view.

    Dad probably has rights to visit his child or can seek same by order .

    If there is an order, you probably need to address as the move away party  how to implement a reasonable visitation with child and you may need to pick up a lot of the visitation costs.

    Yes, that means you could be stuck to pay for his visits at same time he stiffs you/child on CS--so be careful how you address this area.



  • 12-10-2009 9:24 AM In reply to

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    What is the current situation?  If you have shared custody, does the child live both with you and with his father?  Is there court ordered child support?

    You later in your posts say the father is abusive to his other children?  Why then would a court allow shared custody?

    You really do have to consider what is best for the child in this.  Moving a child away from his father is not usually considered in the best interest of the child as far as a court is concerned.  You can say that is my personal opinion if you like, but that is the way it typically is goes.

    You have shared custody of this child.  Have you considered how you might react if the father proposed a plan to move away from you with the child?  He has every bit the right to do this that you do.

     

  • 12-10-2009 2:56 PM In reply to

    Re: Have shared custody and wanting to move out of state now

    What you'll probably need to focus on is how it is in the best interest of the child to have less contact with the other parent.

Page 1 of 1 (12 items) | RSS

My Community

Community Membership New Users: Search Community