Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling.

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Latest post 02-04-2010 11:09 PM by Snowflake1234. 20 replies.
  • 01-31-2010 6:41 PM

    Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling.

    My husband told me to leave and said that he was done.  He said that he would file for the divore proceedings.  3 months later we are no closer to anything happening.  I have been in contact with him minimally.  I have told him that I would like us to work on things and that we can make it work.  He hasn't really done anything on his end to either effect.  I am thinking of getting a consult when I get the money.  Is there anything an attorney can do to light a fire under him.  I still would really like counseling but am tired of getting put aside.  I was wondering if an attorney can talk to him about counseling as an option or what else to do.  Thanks for any answers.

  • 01-31-2010 7:03 PM In reply to

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    Attorneys make money getting people divorced. They don't make money keeping them together.

    Your husband tossed you out. That's not going to change.

    If you want to get it over with, hire your own lawyer and file for divorce if he doesn't.

    Otherwise, you'll be in limbo for a long time to come..

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  • 02-02-2010 12:16 AM In reply to

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    I know I can't force him to stay with me.  I just don't really think that he wants this but he is embarrased about what has happened and feels that he has no other option.  I have tried to tell him that we can overcome this and that I won't hold this against him in the future.  I just would like for us to at least try.  I know that counseling is no guarantee .

  • 02-02-2010 12:32 AM In reply to

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    I have suggested that we meet up in a neutral, middle ground place for a weekend and just talk.  No place special just a place for us to be together.  Last time I briefly talked to him he seemed to be riding the fence.  Now I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks.  Don't know what is going through his mind. 

  • 02-02-2010 12:49 AM In reply to

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    Thanks for all your support.  I am willing to try. 

  • 02-02-2010 4:59 PM In reply to

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    Well, I guess it is to the breaking point.  My husband emailed me papers today where he has drawn the divorce papers up himself and if I agree he will get an attorney to file them.  I have a few problems with the papers though.  He didn't send me all of the documentation for the financial disclosure.  He shows himself to be destitute and the disclosure is onesided.  I thought that we each had to fill one out.  He shows my income as unknown, etc.  He says that we have no debt even though we have a trip that the money came out of my line of credit plus all of my moving expenses that I think he should be responsible for.  He also says that he has no life insurance even though I am pretty sure he does because of his job.  He also states that I want no spousal support and never will..  What if I do?  The house he has listed as I will sign a quit claim and give to him and he will attempt twice a year to refinance until he is successful.  I don't agree with that clause at all.  I have not responded to his email as of yet.  He has put me on hold for a long time and now it is his time to wait until I sort through things.  I really feel that I should have an attorney go through anything before I sign papers.  I just don't trust him. 

     

  • 02-02-2010 6:37 PM In reply to

    • SPlum
      Consumer
    • Top 75 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-11-2008
    • Posts 915

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    He is only looking out for himself.  Hire a lawyer who will look out for you.  Do not sign anything he has sent you, ESPECIALLY you signing a quit claim deed for the house but staying on the mortgage.  Do NOT do that.  If he decided not to pay for the house, you are legally responsible for a mortgage on a property you have no ownership in and the mortgage company would go after you. Bad bad bad. Consult with several lawyers in your area and then hire the one you feel the most comfortable with.

  • 02-03-2010 12:57 AM In reply to

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    I am NOT signing these papers.  He is not being truthful and I am not sure that things are being done correctly.  He also filled out a joint financial disclosure which I don't think is right.  I should have to fill out my own forms.  He has said that he was told that I am due 33% of his retirement, is this figure correct?  I also have a problem with how long he has to even file to get the money from his retirement.  He has it dated that he has until around the time the divorce is final to even file to get the money.  I think he thinks that I am either so naive or that I just want to get this over with so I will sign anything.  He also put in the quit claim section that I will sign a quit claim and that he will ATTEMPT to refinance twice a year until he is able to do so?!?!?!?!?!?  I really don't think so.....  He may come down to having to sell.  Sorry for asking so many questions but everyone on here has been very helpful and it is helping me to make clearer decisions.  Thanks again.

  • 02-03-2010 1:10 AM In reply to

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    Thank you.  I am trying to figure out where to get the money from and that will be the first place I will be.  I just won't feel safe without doing so.  The more I read on here I hear of horror stories where people did not realize these things about the quit claim and other items.  I am so glad I have found places like this to learn a lot to help myself.  Thanks again.

  • 02-03-2010 11:09 PM In reply to

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    What is he able to do to me if I don't sign the quit claim deed?  Does he have any recourse?  I will be contacting an attorney before contacting him again. 

  • 02-03-2010 11:16 PM In reply to

    • Drew
      Consumer
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-30-2000
    • PA
    • Posts 48,978

    Re: Husband wants divorce but won't file. I want counseling...

    Based on what you post he has constructed a totally one sided deal --You sign nothing!

     

    Sometimes in such fights there is a tactical advantage to be first to file --I'd keep my yap SHUT --and get to counsel post haste!



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